Just caught up with the previous posts.

@Rhaenys – I know you wanted to know if you could post, @Shelbyville stated explicitly to continue using her thread to help and guide one another, so give me a shout if you need a male pov about something.

@Shelbyville also stated because of feeling stretched so thin she needed a bit of time to herself so don’t feel excluded. I respect her for taking those steps.

One thing ‘B’ explained to me when I told her I had felt disappointed when she walked away was that we can’t always give back when we want to. She said putting your own needs first especially when so selfless and giving, is a huge part of self love and growth. I appreciate ‘B’ qualities now so have worked on not taking it for granted or projecting my insecurities onto her and labelling her unreliable or selfish. When you love yourself you no longer need validation, you take the steps that are healthiest for you and the relationship. She said often those steps are the hardest ones. She said she had always cared about me so much but wasn’t going to accept less than she deserved. When I came back to her after working on my worth, fears and balanced the scales by offering her something in the relationship, we have thrived.

I’m sure @Shelbyville will return to giving inspiring advice and helping others when she has balanced her life and focused on what she actually needs. However in the meantime try not to feel excluded, we can only ever validate ourselves. If you need any guidance then ask.

@Sammy mate that’s a huge decision you are making. Are the memories too painful or do you have new goals? I have to say if you have to take drastic measures to erase someone whether that’s delete, block, hide all their belongings or sell a home. You are essentially compartmentalising and that from experience is not healthy. The memories can’t be erased without dealing with the feelings and achieving real acceptance. They will follow you everywhere and the intensity will be felt in your body.

‘A’ and best friends betrayal I couldn’t accept, look what I did as a consequence. ‘B’ choosing to put herself first after my despicable treatment, I still contorted into srlf pity in my head. I removed every reminder of her, told myself she wasn’t for me, justified my behaviour. But deep down those suppresed feelings remained. Any feelings we don’t deal with and resolve will haunt us. So think about your reasoning.

@Kkasxo how are you homie? Back into the swing of things with work? Has Mr A departed yet? Hope this new year is a reawakening one for you!

• This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by Danny.