Hello. I really loved your last posts here.

@Dannydan, I must admit I haven’t liked you at first, expecially since I’ve felt I experienced from my ex a bit similar like you described you did with B. But you grew on me, a lot. I really appreciate your posts here, and I admit I like you. And.. all those things you did because you were hurt before. And now that I read your posts and you mentioning how you were annihilated on other forums.. I’m really glad posters here had heart and acceptance for you.

I think both you and @Sammy1 are wonderful here, trying help Jay and me.

I think that break up and rejection hits us hard. We all have some issues, maybe some more some less.. But those of us who want partner and companionship, and who were the ones who gave more… it hurts us. I think that happened to Shelbyville, Kkasxo, Tim, and all other posters, including us for here now. I’ve been reading older posts, and everyone mentioned same things about how they feel, mood swings, better and worse days,”I’m afraid no one will love me again”. Actually I’ve been reading your posts from last year Sammy, and the changes you went give me hope, I really admire how you did it, you are so strong.

I also really felt I found myself in Danny’s words today:

“The world lost its colour, activities I initially found some solace in as distraction gave me no joy. It was like something invisible was weighing me down and slowly sucking the life and soul out of me. No matter how much I tried, I was exhausted by the extra effort required just to do the bare minimum.”

And I’ve been mentioning all this because I think this is some parts is normal after breakups, especially for those of us who want to be partnered and have a family (I specifically remember Shelbyville, Kkasxo, Jay and me mentioning that, and mentioning our age – as this is bothering me a lot). And sometimes I feel like we who suffer so much have  problem with ourselves, like we have to fix ourselves. And yes, we can always work on ourselves, to be better, more open and vulnerable.. But we are not broken.  (There is actually and article on tinnybuddha today about this: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/a-life-changing-insight-you-are-not-a-problem-to-be-fixed/). Because sometimes I get a felling we are…But I think the point is to accept who we are and what we feel, not to “fix us”. And I think we are worthy of love and much better partners then we had. Some pain after breakup, if we cared is normal, and we shouldn’t judge ourselves because of that. (I think it’s another thing if it lasts for years and years).

So that is my message to @Jay2023 and all of us today… As maybe my English language skills are in my way so I can’t express myself the best, I’ll qoute that article I mentioned from today:

“The truth is…

You are not a problem to fix.

You are a human to be held.

To be held in your own arms and loved into wholeness.

Take care of your human.”