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Reply To: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up

HomeForumsRelationshipsTrying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break upReply To: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up

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Sammy
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@Dannydan its great to hear from you and that you had a wonderful honeymoon.

Loved reading your long post but where do I begin? It’s been my pleasure to help you. You honestly don’t owe me anything, but I will tag you if I ever need some perspective but like you I’m doing well now. @Rhaenys and @Jay2023 have gone awol lol. So I only respond to any notifications. The fact you want to return my time and energy, is a true reflection of your character. I appreciate that a lot. In the past, I would get upset by slow or no replies but this thread taught me about managing expectations and made me give in a better way than I did before. So you really don’t owe me anything.

I also couldn’t agree more, having your own personal space is important in relationships too. It’s evident your relationship is built on a strong foundation, you both share great communication and trust. Maybe we should both treasure it as our safe place we can vent anonymously to each other if necessary? At least for now.

I think be careful of setting the bar so high for yourself because consistency is key in a relationship. Are you able to sustain the monthly anniversary surprises? As a woman I would prefer consistency rather than a brief honeymoon phase and then nothing. Having said that I get the feeling there’s also a deeply romantic Danny we’ve discovered that lurks beneath the sexually charged beast. If that’s the case ‘B’ is a lucky lucky lady to have a man willing to continue to infuse romance on the daily. Keeping it real most men win you over and revert back to their true uninspiring boring setting lol.

I recommend something simple, maybe you could write a personalised card or  sentimental poem about what your first month as official husband and wife has meant to you?

Wow! DANNY, that is super progress! Well done on reigning your thoughts in and thinking of it like you should; being proud she is all yours and remembering she chose you.

Too right the other men should be the jealous ones! From all the information you’ve shared about ‘B’ she is quite an amazing catch so you should always remember she accepted YOU because she saw something special in you compared to her “hot Asian ex”  and the many options or dates she had.

I am happy to read you have learned to accept yourself fully that’s why you are genuinely proud of yourself for being the one man that really captured her heart and made her want to be your wife.

So well done for nipping any Insecurity in the bud , if allowed to grow it can become possessive and no woman wants to constantly reassure a man it is draining or have a controlling man, it eats away at the relationship. What did B say upon discussion?

Carry on being you and growing, the love and chemistry you both share can only grow because its evident you two have something special. It really makes me happy to see it! It’s so sweet to read the little things you notice in her too.

It is incredible how far you’ve come and the maturity you demonstrated by inviting your exes to be there, if anything it really shows you both have no lingering doubts or feelings. You trust and are committed to one another. And based on your descriptions of her,  I don’t think ‘B’ would ever cheat even if he did try and make a move, so if that thought ever tries to settle in your mind, discard it!

It’s interesting what you said about men being takers and their role in forging a friendship for their own benefit. It has got me thinking about my ex.

I know it must have been very difficult for you to confront the contents of that letter but look at the result! It’s shown how valued you are by ‘B’ as well as your in laws. Her parents can see you genuinely make their daughter fulfilled and happy. That was incredible her father stepped in. My friends who are in similar positions have not been so fortunate and their partner finds themselves in middle of tug of war and it leads to misery all around. You are united and all on the same page so this union will only continue to soar.

Glad to read your needs are being fulfilled in every way Danny 😜 be careful you mind find she wants it more!

Remember confrontation or locking horns can be very healthy and make your bond stronger if expressed in the right manner. Arguing will occur in every relationship but those that have strong emotional understanding and communication will continue to thrive. I just knew it you two would be like horny rabbits, you have strong emotional intimacy after that incident where you had your first major fight it’s clear when your bond is threatened you seek proximity to one another to reconnect!

Reading what you wrote to @Rhaenys made me cry. It’s just so beautiful to see you so passionately in love and willing to risk loving from your whole heart even if it comes crumbling down. Not many love like that Danny! You’re right it’s our choices that decide our fate. Never let fear decide our destiny.

I’m so glad to have witnessed you morph from that boy who first posted to the man you are today. X