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Posts tagged with “process”

My New Approach to Setting Goals and Why It Works Better for Me

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“The journey is long, but the goal is in each step.” ~Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

I have a daughter, she is nine.

A few months ago, I started to feel like we weren’t as close as we used to. I felt like we weren’t spending enough time together, and honestly, when we were I almost didn’t know what to do with her. It felt like our emotional connection was falling apart, like we didn’t have enough topics to discuss or enough games to play.

Moreover, I was getting stressed and annoyed with her easily, and it definitely wasn’t helping. I …

How Lowering Our Expectations Helps Us Do What We Really Want to Do

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“Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” ~William James

Despite being the sort of person who’s constantly generating self-improvement to-do lists, I’ve never been big into making New Year’s resolutions. If I make any at all, they usually occur as an afterthought, frequently after the fact, and without much in the way of any real resolution.

However, this January I suddenly decided my resolution for 2019 should be to lower my expectations.

My whole life I’ve been an overachieving, Type A perfectionist. The sort of person who obsessively stresses about getting work in on time, …

We Keep Going, One Tiny Step at a Time, and We Should Be Proud

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“Don’t wait until you reach your goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud of every step you take.” ~Karen Salmansohn

One of the greatest ironies of being human is that we’re often hardest on ourselves right when we should be most proud.

Let’s say you finally find the courage to start a dream project you’ve fantasized about for as long as you can remember. You push through years of built-up fears, overcome massive internal resistance, and take the leap despite feeling like you’re jumping through a ring of fire, above a pit filled with burning acid.

It’s one of …

How Getting What You Want Can Sabotage You

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“You can’t win enough. You can’t have enough money. You can’t succeed enough. The only thing that can satiate that existential thirst is love. I just remember that day I made that shift from wanting to be a winner to wanting to have the most powerful, deep, and beautiful relationships I could possibly have.” ~Will Smith

About a year ago, I made the decision to start seriously working out with weights for the first time in my life. I’ve always been an athlete and in decent shape, but I wanted to test my body and see how much of …

Why It’s Okay to Be Right Where You Are in Life

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“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” ~Arthur Ashe

Whenever I go see my Rolfer Jennie, I look forward to the wisdom she shares with me. As a Rolfer and Bodyworker of twenty-five years and an expert in the mind-body connection, she has it by the bucket-load.

Recently, upon visiting her, I fell into my old familiar trap of wanting to be ‘fixed’ or perhaps wanting her to have a simple answer for me with regards to some tension in my inner leg that had been progressing (even though I’m fully aware things are never …

Taking Small Steps to Do the Thing That Scares You

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“Take that first step. Bravely overcoming one small fear gives you the courage to take on the next.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

When I was younger I loved to climb trees, but I was always too scared to get myself down. Somehow, when standing at the base of a massive Oak, I’d forget how terrified I’d feel at the top.

So I’d climb away, trying to prove to the neighborhood boys that I was fearless, and then stay up there, clutching the bark and crying, until someone helped me get safely to the ground.

I knew who I wanted to be—a daredevil …

Create Solutions, Not Resolutions

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“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

With the New Year approaching, resolutions are on everyone’s mind.

I’ve never liked the word “resolution.” As defined in the dictionary, resolution means “a firm decision to do or not do something,” and anyone who’s ever done, well, anything knows that life rarely works like that.

I prefer to think of my January decisions as New Year’s solutions. Defined in the dictionary as “a means of solving a problem or dealing with a difficult situation,” solutions are …