Posts tagged with “relationships”
The Silent Struggle: When Saying “No” Is Not That Simple
“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” ~Nathaniel Branden
I vividly recall a morning when my son was just five years old. My husband wanted to leave the country we were living in again, this time to escape what he believed was the imminent collapse of society due to COVID.
After years of constant relocations, I had finally started to build a community of friends, my son was settled in school, and I was beginning to feel some sense of normalcy. But he couldn’t stand it. My growing independence seemed to threaten him, and I …
Why Relationships and Service to Others Matter More Than Money
“Whatever possession we gain by our sword cannot be sure or lasting, but the love gained by kindness and moderation is certain and durable.” ~Alexander the Great
I remember when I was younger, my relatives on my mother’s side would visit our house almost weekly—not to check on us but to borrow money. We lived in a long house, with relatives and neighbors occupying different rooms, and since we were at the innermost part, they had to walk in to reach us. My parents were so accustomed to these visits that the moment they saw certain relatives, they knew …
5 Unexpected Ways to Find the Right Mate
“Your new life is going to cost you your old one. It’s going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense of direction. It’s going to cost you relationships and friends. It’s going to cost you being liked and understood. It doesn’t matter. The people who are meant for you are going to meet you on the other side. You’re going to build a new comfort zone around the things that actually move you forward. Instead of being liked, you’re going to be loved. Instead of being understood, you’re going to be seen. All you’re going to lose is …
Love Isn’t About Being Chosen
“Feeling safe in someone’s energy is a different kind of intimacy. That feeling of peace and protection is really underrated.” ~Vanessa Klas
The first time I said, “I love you” to a romantic partner, I was met with silence.
Nine months into what I believed was a deep, mutual relationship, I felt certain we were on the same page. But when the words left my mouth, he froze. No words back. No reassurance. Just silence. The next thing I knew, he disappeared for weeks, leaving me sitting in the wreckage of my own vulnerability. I was left questioning everything—why …
Why People Ghost and Advice for Coping (or Stopping)
“Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.” ~Rumi
A few months ago, someone I had dated briefly seven years ago reached out to apologize for his past behavior.
Many of us know how being ghosted can evoke a mix of frustration, bursts of anger, and an underlying sense of utter powerlessness. Degrees of intensity can vary, of course, depending on the depth of the relationship and personal circumstances. This was not one of those heart-wrenching cases, and in a way, an apology seemed excessive. I had long forgiven and forgotten.
Nonetheless, I almost immediately realized I was …
5 Pillars of Mindful Awareness That Transformed My Life
“When things change inside of you, things change around you.” ~Unknown
When I was twenty-three, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. It was not until two years later, when I stopped taking medication, that I discovered I had a mental health disorder linked to my menstrual cycles.
Meditating daily has been foundational for my well-being. It helps me manage the physical expressions of anxiety and bad moods. It allows me to be more accepting of myself and grateful for the many positives in my life.
But it is the awareness journey that mindfulness has paved over these last …
The Importance of Setting Strong, Healthy Boundaries
“If you love yourself, it doesn’t matter if other people don’t like you because you don’t need their approval to feel good about yourself.” ~Lori Deschene
I spent my whole life trying to please other people. I would put myself through stress and discomfort to fit in with what they wanted or needed. I would rarely feel confident enough to communicate what I wanted because when I did, I would be met with frustration or anger, and I’d often come away feeling stupid.
When I was growing up, I would feel my emotions very strongly, so a lot of …
What Migraines Have Taught Me About Being Vulnerable
“Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences.” ~Brené Brown, Daring Greatly
Migraines. I’ve had them since I was five years old. Sometimes they’re bad, sometimes they’re really bad. But I have them.
When I was five, I had electrodes placed on my skull to do an EEG. I didn’t understand the name, so I called it a “sleepy EG” since they put me to sleep to do it.
Back then, I didn’t realize how chronic pain could interfere with my daily life. I just knew that I was getting my sleepy EG.
It …
5 Lessons Pain Taught Me About Love
“If there is love in your heart, it will guide you through your life. Love has its own intelligence.” ~Sadhguru
Love was something I craved for most of my life. I dreamed that one day, a person would come into my life, preferably a man, who would love me and save me from my painful suffering filled with emptiness and desperation.
Even when I was single, which I was quite often and for prolonged periods, I would fantasize about a perfect relationship with someone who’d understand and accept me even in my worst moments. I wanted a partner and a …
4 Ways to Help Someone with Mental Health Challenges
“Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless.” ~Dave G. Llewellyn
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone told you something deeply personal and traumatic and you were stuck on what to say to them, how to act, and how to behave?
This happens to me regularly, and it’s not that I don’t have feelings or emotions about what’s happened to the person. I feel deeply sorry for them. But I sometimes freeze and don’t know what to say or do.
When it comes to mental health issues, this can be even …
The Ultimate Guide to Better Boundaries
“Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” ~Prentis Hemphill
I was talking with a friend about some aspect of a challenging relationship (I don’t even remember what it was now), and she lovingly informed me that I needed better boundaries. I nodded in understanding, but later I realized that I didn’t really know what that meant. Like, what do better boundaries actually look like? And how does one go about developing them?
It’s all fine and dandy to know that “No” is a complete sentence, but how does that apply to a …
11 Simple Ways to Nurture Meaningful Connections Offline
“Turn off your email; turn off your phone; disconnect from the Internet; figure out a way to set limits so you can concentrate when you need to and disengage when you need to. Technology is a good servant but a bad master.” ~Gretchen Rubin
We live in truly extraordinary times. Where once letters and telegrams took days to reach the other side of the world, we can now send messages and emails at the push of a button; and social media has allowed us to connect with people from diverse backgrounds, helping us learn, grow, and aim for the stars.…
Healing Anxious Attachment Patterns to Create Space for Love
“Anxious attachment stems from a deep sense of inner instability where old wounds make people anticipate that they will be abandoned again and again.” ~Jessica Baum
I have recently met the love of my life. Yay!!! He is the person I’ve been imagining for as long as I can remember, hoping and praying that one day I would find him.
It took such a long time that I began to suspect I was delusional for imagining that such a love was possible, and I almost gave up on the idea of him. But now he is here, and we share …
Why You Don’t Need Many Friends to Be Happy
“Introversion—along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness—is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology.” ~Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking
I’ll be honest, I don’t have many friends.
And it’s something I’ve always felt a level of shame about.
In fact, I recognize it’s a self-limiting belief I’ve been carrying around since secondary school: I don’t make friends easily or have a big circle; therefore, I’m unworthy or there’s something wrong with me.
That’s not to say I’ve never had friends. I’ve had friends from childhood …
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