4 Strategies To Heal a Broken Heart

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This topic has 6 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 8 months ago by Cynthia Belmer.

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April 21, 2014 at 12:17 pm #55128

Cynthia Belmer
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You’ve been broken up with and you don’t understand the sudden reasons for the break up. It hurts. It’s painful. It’s embarrassing.

You’re confused about whether he truly loved you. You wonder if the whole relationship was a lie. You feel anger and resentment in your heart.

Deep inside, you’re dreaming of hearing his footsteps at the door of your apartment, coming back just to tell you that he made a big mistake leaving you. You want him to say the words: “I’m sorry, please forgive me. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you.”

You want answers. You’re stuck. You can’t move on.

Yet, in reality you’re not getting your closure from him and you probably never will.

4 Strategies That Will Help You Move On when You’ve Been Broken Up With:

Step 1 — Get your own closure: If he broke up with you suddenly and cut you off, the likelihood of getting closure from him is very minimal right now. He doesn’t want to “talk about his feelings” and he does NOT “want to commit”. You’re only wasting your time waiting for him to give you what you need. Write yourself an open letter that you will never share with him. Talk about all the emotions that are surfacing, talk about how he made you feel in the past, your memories and so on. You can also imagine and create a dialogue between both of you. Ask him to give you a closure in this imaginary dialogue.

Step 2 — Write down 30 silver linings that came out of this relationship: In my book Meeting Freedom (will be released in July), I talk about a terrible break up I had. It broke my heart open. It got me stuck for almost 3 years. But with help and a lot of self-growth work, I realized that this breakup was a gem. It led me to find myself, to open my heart and find my amazing husband Charlie. Good things are happening for you. It’s time to break that pattern of breakup and find the one who deserves you. This guy is here to heal you, to show you the path to freeing yourself from the old patterns. Shift your attitude from “I’m a victim of life” to “I’m a victor of life” and find peace within yourself.

Step 3 — Focus on what’s beautiful about being you and not about what’s wrong being you. In other words “FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF”: When I ask people if they love and accept themselves for who they are, often times the answer is NO. Then how is it realistic to expect others to love us unconditionally when we don’t even find ourselves freakin’ awesome? This is what makes us attract people that shed the light on the missing piece within us which is: Self-Love.

Step 4 — Get help: Surround yourself with people who are loving and kind. I would also highly recommend that you would find a coach to help you find love within yourself and break your old limiting beliefs that are creating the same patterns in your relationships and most probably in every area of your life.

I promise you will you find the right person when you shift your attitude and find love and healing within yourself first!

Much love,
Cynthia Belmer

April 21, 2014 at 5:02 pm #55147

Stevie Tea Flowers
Participant

Hey Cynthia!

Obviously I have no need to state that the above is incredibly well put! 🙂

I had spent a good couple of years in the grey of a “DSPRD” ( Dramatically Stressed Post Relationship Disorder 😉 ) and have in the past 10 months found a new light in my day!

I think sometimes the hardest part is finding those things in yourself you love, especially when school, work and social life ( as well as the many other things you hopefully share with your partner) revolved around the person you were with! And as such, much of getting on with your life means moving away with the memories and lessons of the past, even if it doesn’t always seem possible.

For me I found Music, Spoken Word and Painting (all things I never, never, ever in a million years thought i’d enjoy or be acceptable at) but my entire perspective of myself and my Love 4 Life has changed! 🙂

SO to the rest of the people who are going to read this… Take the Advice, its Darn good! In ways, for all lessons in life, these Steps hold Value!

Hold strong, Stay Young, Even if its just at Heart!

Kinds Regards,

April 22, 2014 at 1:27 pm #55206

Cynthia Belmer
Participant

Hi Stevie,

Thank you for your kind words and I’m SOOOO glad to hear that your perspective about life has changed. I really believe that at some point in our lives, we have to go through such a hard break-up so that we could awaken our sense of self-love.

Things fall apart in our in life so that we could heal the deepest wounds within.

Much love,
Cynthia

April 22, 2014 at 9:41 pm #55227

@Jasmine-3
Participant

Beautiful insight Cynthia. You are beautiful in and out. Perfect combo 🙂

Your post is going to inspire many.

Best wishes,

Jasmine

April 23, 2014 at 12:21 pm #55251

Cynthia Belmer
Participant

Thank you Jasmine for your kind words! I’m so glad you enjoyed this insight! xoxo

April 25, 2014 at 5:13 pm #55389
tonyascott
Participant
I am 9 months into a break up. A rather bad break up. An all of a sudden, I thought we were making progress but instead “I’m moving out” break up. A break up that left me financially and emotionally weak. A break up that brought forth feelings of abandonment, rejection and the constant question since the break up, “whats wrong with me?” For me, this was a break up like no other.

I have had break ups before, but this one, this one left me feeling broken. This one left me feeling unloveable. I started neglecting all that was good about me and my focus was to search for the bad. You hit it right on the mark when you mentioned still waiting for that day when the phone rings and it’s from him. That was me. I found myself waiting for those magical words “I am sorry, please forgive me, I made a mistake, can we try again?”

Thank you so very much your article/blog…..I needed it.

“This guy is here to heal you, to show you the path to freeing yourself from the old patterns”…..

This is the statement that has me changing gears and refocusing on me (in a positive manner). I know the relationship was a lesson. A hard lesson. But a necessary lesson. And that statement, solidified it…

Thank you….
- This reply was modified 10 years, 8 months ago by tonyascott.
April 26, 2014 at 5:40 am #55403

Cynthia Belmer
Participant

I’m sorry for all the pain you’re going through Tonya. Things like this happen in our life for a much bigger reason. I know this may be hard to grasp right now but really this is a great opportunity for you to work through the inner hick-ups so that you can find the person of your dreams.

I’m telling you this because I’ve been there six years ago and it really sux. But when I really did A LOT of inner growth work, the man of my dream found me. In fact we found each other.

Trust the process and shift your focus from everything that went wrong or from the “what if I had said that or did that, maybe things would’ve been different”. Work through your stuff, get help if you can afford it will truly open your eyes to the beauty that’s within you.

I’m also doing a free group coaching session today at 11:00 am EST. Would love to have you and everyone there, here’s the link:
http://www.spreecast.com/events/sealing-the-past
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