Home→Forums→Tough Times→A lot of Anxiety and stress Extortion
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February 28, 2023 at 2:42 am #415898MichelleParticipant
I have not posted here in a while. I have had some tough times since my last visit, and some good ones. (I.e.i ‘m still with the same guy), but the last few days I have just been so mentally incapacitated by the newest thing that is happening to me. I can think of nothing else. I have not done much of anything. I had a day where I don’t even think I ate.
I wrote about a lawsuit I was in by someone who was trying to hurt me in 2019 on here. That continued on, I was in that suit for five years, until the end of last year where the person that had me in that court case suddenly died. The case was never resolved and sits stayed with no one from his side to pick up where he left off. I will not lie I felt relief that he couldn’t bother me or hurt me anymore, but the whole experience created a lot of PSTD for me that I have not gotten past. Also it hasn’t been that long.
Now a new person that I don’t even know is sending me extortion letters and threatening a lawsuit for a photo I used on my business Facebook page. They are claiming I didn’t use the free license correctly, so now it’s no longer free and they send me a bill for thousands. I suppose I can ptry to settle but I don’t want to. I feel like he is extorting me in the same way the last man did which landed me in court for speaking out about it, and all of the things he did. I almost feel like I rather he sue me, but that also gives me a lot of anxiety that I would be sued again in less than a year of the unofficially end of the other one.
At first I thought this newest one was a scam, but it’s not, it tuns this man is notorious for doing this, and indeed I used one of his photos. I thought I had used it correctly and it just feels so unfair that this happening. It’s bringing me so much stress, anxiety, and worry. I don’t know if he will actually sue me, but he might. I refuse to give anyone money who tries to take it in this way. Plus they have yet to even prove definitive ownership of the photo in question.
This time it’s my business so it isn’t even as much about the money. I have professional liability insurance, I called and this would most likely be covered under the copyright umbrella I added. I know I won’t be in court for many years if he did sue me for this. I know he won’t be so vengeful, but just looking for a quick payday from a stranger, but I feel like that person who tried to hurt me through the court system for years just came right back and is doing it all over again. I barley had any time for relief for being in a constant state of being sued. I feel so triggered that the PSTD is just really bad.
I will try to find someone to talk about this with, but in the mean time just trying to get through my days.
Trying to find a way out and see the bright side of all of this. If there is one.
February 28, 2023 at 10:10 am #415902RobertaParticipantDear Michelle
I am so sorry that this latest episode in your life is not only stressful , but on top of that it rakes up all the past stress around the previous court case. I was entangled in a legal situation for 7 years and still occasionally my mind can react or chew it over.
Many years of meditation, buddhist retreats & study have helped me build a better more calm & compassionate life.
February 28, 2023 at 11:45 am #415903MichelleParticipantThanks I would like to meditate but I feel like I can’t rest my mind.
Any tips.
March 1, 2023 at 8:14 am #415952RobertaParticipantDear Michelle
At the start I would choose quite an active meditation like a body scan. there are many on youtube this brings me back in touch with my body and gives my mind something to focus on other than the normal dross that seems to bounce around it. I also like to watch talks by the residents at Sravasti Abbey they give me something to ponder on throughout the day. The third pillar of a buddhist way is ethical conduct. In general people do the first (meditation) may dabble a little with the second (teachings/contenplation) and rarely deeply consider the third and then wonder why their success is dare I say superficial & limited. Life will always have its ups & downs, its how we walk thru life that ultimately counts towards our own peace.
March 1, 2023 at 9:58 am #415954PeterParticipantThanks I would like to meditate but I feel like I can’t rest my mind.
To still the mind notice the inner narrator.
Ear’s hear, eyes see, skin sense, tongue taste , heart beats, lungs breathe…. mind narrates.
Seeing, hearing, tasting… these are happenings. There is no-thing to make happen, happenings happen. Yet the ‘I’ (and language) likes to think it can and so tends to get in the way.
Your breathing and then someone tells you to breath… what changes? Its funny, if one is asked to be spontaneous can your response to that ask be spontaneous? Even if you might be spontaneous language will prevent you from proving it so the wise remain silent. Thus we come to the inner narrator.
In meditation one is asked to breathe and the narrator, narrating on the breathe and maybe even try to take over. I think the idea is that the narrator will get distracted on the breath and turn from a narrator into a silent detached observer of the breathe….
That kind of works until the narrator gets bored and or uncomfortable when it notices that ‘no I’ is breathing, there is just breathing, just the happening. The narrator realizing that its not and can’t make happenings happen wonders about its own existence. If afraid of such a question it fills the empty space meditation with random thoughts and memories.
Practicing the practice the inner narrator might notice the problem isn’t existence but with language, the problem of naming everything as if the name is the thing, the narrator might notice it can watch with out naming and still exist. The inner narrator might even find it enjoys the rest and role as observer. The observer with no name, just is.
Happenings happen, eyes see, ears hear….
March 1, 2023 at 8:50 pm #415961MichelleParticipantok I will try these things thank you.
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