Dear Aiyana Henderson:

I re-read your posts in the threads still on record (those that you did not delete yet) so to learn about you and about our communication so far: you are a woman in your later twenties, I understand, living in a small town somewhere on the east coast of the U.S., with your mother, your step father and a couple of siblings. You have your own room, and you spend the majority of your time in your room, in front of the computer: “I never really went out much before Covid…. (I am) around family members 24/7”.

You watch lots of YouTube videos, listen to podcasts and follow a therapist on Instagram. You run your own blog. You are active on multiple social media platforms including twitter where you have a following. You have accounts with two online payment services, CashApp and PayPal, where you charge people for tarot cards and astrology readings.

You are otherwise unemployed and have been unemployed for the great majority of your adult life. You never had a driver’s license. You prefer to not work outside your home, and you have applied for jobs so that your family will not accuse you of being lazy: “I stopped my last job. I did my best to stick it out, but the commuting was hard… I feel more like myself when I’m not doing much. I’ve come to the conclusion that the way American culture… to have the constant energy to work.. is beyond me.. I thought about staying up all night to apply for jobs so no one in my family would think I was being lazy”.

You never had a romantic relationship, therefore, never experienced a relationship breakup. The great majority of your interaction with people is online.

Your have had three biggest dreams: (1) “to be a famous actress… I would love it if I won an Academy Award for my acting”, (2) “to travel all over the world.. to Italy”, and (3) “to be a writer. I was always gifted with the written word”, you’ve been writing a novel, a love story, for the last seven years

In your communication with me and with others, you often express yourself as if you are a close friend to the reader of your post. For example, you wrote to another member: “tell your friend that I would love a road trip too.. The three of us deserve a vacation… I wish I was quarantined at your place right now so that we had protein shakes together”.

But when on Nov 18, 2020, I suggested “a deeper communication between the two of us”, your declined my offer five days later, Nov 23: “As much as I would love to chat with you, I should let you know that I’ve found other like-minded individuals who will support me on the journey”.

On Feb 8, 2021, I asked you: “Are you hoping I can help you with anything?” and you answered: “yes. I do want your help”. I asked you: “how specifically would you like me to help you”, and you answered: “I would like your help in being free to tell me your advice on how to handle things.. I still need guidance from time to time”-

– You have never asked for my advice or guidance before or after that communication.

In my most recent post to you, I wrote: “you write so much… and reveal nothing, you have moments of appearing friendly.. but you are always at a distance”. You replied: “Truthfully, I kind of like having a little mystery to my personality. If I’m mysterious, then you’ll always be surprised by what I reveal about myself.. I’m still healing from unresolved childhood trauma”-

– You never shared a resolved or unresolved childhood trauma in any of your threads over the years.

In conclusion: now that I understand what I understand, I think that any time that I contribute to you interacting with other people virtually and on a superficial, “mysterious”  manner 24/7, I am doing you a disservice.

As a person and a writer, you need real-life experiences to experience and to write about. A real-life romantic love story, for example, will help you write a believable love story. Real life friendships will help you experience authentic friendships online and offline. A real-life work experience where you commute and interact with people in-person will help you be further be a well-rounded person and writer.

I am now withdrawing from this thread and from communicating with you otherwise and hope that you find the motivation to expand the quality and depth of your interactions with other people beyond what it has been so far.

anita

Dear Aiyana,

I use to be shy and I have moved around a lot so if you would like any insight on how I took steps to overcome fear and try new things I am happy to share. I remember you saying that sometimes you are shy like me as well?

zeeza