August 9, 2014 at 8:43 pm #62958
Hi Zaica! Thank you for confiding in me, I am always glad to help when someone asks. About your friend, from experience, only go into details with those you know give unbiased advise, aim for those kinds of friends Zaica, they are jewels right now. Now about your situation, I really don’t know why they dislike him so much. Was he abusive? I would not want you to go back to that if he was Zaica. Now if it is more of a religious or just cultural thing then go for what YOU want Zaica, they will not be there forever and you will just be withering away into unhappiness by doing what they ask of you. One clear way to fail in life is to want to please everyone around you. As a single mother of 2…living on our own, paying my own bills, nanny for my newborn, & private school for my boy I can tell you it wasn’t easy gaining complete independence but it’s possible! You know they say the first step is the hardest, for me it was, and I believe that is where you are right now. Confusion, fear, guilt, etc… What worked for me was meditation, through devoted practice was how I gained the courage to leave my ex husband, get an apartment, and a job. Not all at the same time, but as soon as I leaped everything magically got into place. Your situation is much different than mine when I left my husband but in root I know you are also seeking to stand on your own 2 feet. You can do it Zaica, even without your family if they are not willing to respect your desires. You are not their little girl anymore, but a grown woman who wants to form her own family. I think you should take on your husband’s offer and have the 3 of you away from the in-laws even if that means renting his father’s apartment for a year. What’s key here is you are all out of their noses, living on your own, forming a nest only for you. Sorry if I went too long on my feedback, I like to cover all aspects when asked for advise hehe 🙂August 9, 2014 at 9:21 pm #62960zaicaParticipant
hi S!.. thank you..:)
they are just angry after whaat happened that he chose to stay with his family instead of coming with us…they said it seems that he doesn’t respect me.. actually, that day that i had a fight with my inlaws, he told me to pack my bags and leave… he said he was sorry.. but my family and friends cant really accept what he did.. they’re really angry at him.. im confused too.. why they are so angry.. but i was able to forgive my husband after we talked about it..
wow.. you amaze me.. to manage all that on your own..:).. a friend of mine told me that maybe i tend to be bullied much coz im not used to rude people in my life..i grew up as a pampered kid with almost all my wants and needs given to me immediately..im not used being around people who doesn’t like me.. :).. well.. that’s what she said..so i guess, this job that im applying for… this is my first step on my own…and i really want to do it right this time..i guess you’re right.. my family still sees me as their little girl.. to be protected always..August 10, 2014 at 11:23 am #62986DilloParticipant
Through a series of enlightening events, I became a single parent before my son was even born. I felt a lot of anger and regret at having been placed in this situation, and at having placed my son in this situation. I have since come to terms with my responsibility in the way the situation played out and I am much more at peace with the way things are for us. In your original post you had said you wondered if this was some karmic action against you for previous mistakes. What I have found, and what I hope will touch your situation in some way, is that everything that took place during my pregnancy and in my son’s early life is already a part of his beautiful story, and that these events help shape the person he is becoming. I believe that my son is a beautiful, powerful person meant for nothing less than greatness, and me being a strong single mother is an important part of his story. So perhaps the karma involved here is great karma for your two wonderful boys, not a punishment for the lessons you are learning. Love knows nothing but love. You are a strong, beautiful soul and your boys will reap nothing but great things from that.August 11, 2014 at 8:49 pm #63143
Hi Zaica, yeah I get it. Family and friends don’t easily forget what is done to you because they don’t have an emotional attachment to our partners. But if they truly love you they will be there for you no matter what you choose to do. You are doing just great, that first step will liberate you. Next time we chat it will be you telling me about your new job. Yay!August 11, 2014 at 8:58 pm #63144
Hi Dillo, first of all I love how you phrased that “through a series of enlightening events.” Your post is so enriching on many levels, thank you, thank you, thank you! I do get angry sometimes but I will read and re read as many times as needed to understand this is a beautiful part of their story and they are meant for nothing else but greatness. I should be more careful as to the way I view this situation when I am feeling weak. Lots of love to you and your son, again thank you for your strength and wisdom. Besos!