Home→Forums→Relationships→Advice about Good-byes
- This topic has 4 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 9 months ago by Little Buddha.
August 23, 2014 at 6:36 pm #63850Little BuddhaParticipant
I’m in need of some practical advice. When my girlfriend and I broke up, I never got to say good-bye to her mother – someone with whom I developed a close friendship.
It’s been a couple of months since our break-up and the desire/need to write to her mother to say good-bye has become a gnawing obsession, which takes me away from the here and now. Should I? Shouldn’t I? Round and round in circles it goes as I go about my day.
My reasons for wanting to write include:
– to say good-bye
– to let her know how grateful I am for the support she gave me
– to let her know that I’m still thinking of her, her family, and wish them all the best
There is a small part of me that also feels some guilt and shame that I wasn’t able to love and take care of her daughter in the way that she deserved, but I hesitate about mentioning that.
I feel that by writing to her will help clear my mind of this obsession and give me some inner peace.
What do you think Tiny Buddhas? Will it or am I simply holding on to something that I need to work harder at letting go?August 23, 2014 at 10:56 pm #63854PurposeParticipant
Hello @Little Buddha
soo good to see that you have such a kind soul.. im Proud of You and i felt great after reading your post, You are setting an example of how beautiful humans are ..despite all the flaws !
Thanks for sharing buddy !
so about your confusion.. i would say..if i had been at your place Little Buddha… i would have definately called her mother and talked to her frankly..trust me..mothers are full of love ,compassion and acceptance…they dont judge. Her Mother would definately talk to you and liaten to you..and you will feel good after telling her all what you have to say.
It is very much required to tel others how they have helped us and how thankful we are to them,irrespective of other things( in ur case ur break up ,it should not stop You to tel her mom how much u are grateful you are)
So dear go and call her… if not possible mail her and write everything what you want to say…
and one thing more.. please… dont blame yourself for the break up..its always from both the sides.. you dont have to be that harsh on yourself, we all go through emotional times.. but this should make us better..and not bitter
so go ahead… Trust me..you will pat yourself for doing this !
we all would like to knw what and how u told her mother..keep in touch !God BLessAugust 26, 2014 at 2:45 am #63944WillParticipant
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with writing to her mother. Keep the message about your relationship with the mother though, don’t apologise for or explain the breakup. You lost a friend, you want to say goodbye and wish her well. Seems reasonable to me.August 26, 2014 at 3:15 pm #63969KelsiParticipant
I think writing to her mother is a wonderful idea, honestly. You have nothing to lose by doing so. I’ve always felt strongly about expressing my gratitude to the people I love; you never know…they may be here one day and gone the next. It’s slightly pessimistic to view it that way but it conditions you to not take anyone for granted.
Anyway, you have a great opportunity to write to her and I would take advantage of it. I think she’ll be extremely happy to hear from you and it shows that you are a mature and thoughtful being for wishing happiness and good health upon the family. There’s no need to address the breakup or the guilt you feel–deep down they know you mean well.
You will feel a great weight lifted off of your chest once you do this, I can assure you. Unspoken words have a way of gnawing at us until we voice them. And then suddenly…we feel light again. We feel rejuvenated and refreshed. I say go for it!
Best of luck 🙂August 28, 2014 at 6:29 am #64048Little BuddhaParticipant
Thanks for all your responses everyone. I wrote the email and sent it.