Hi anita, Sann and Nina, thank you for your replies.

anita, I forgot to mention that its not only girls on tinder who ignores me. Previously, i also contacted an ex-classmate from about 6 years ago via facebook messenger. At first, she replied back, and the replies were very slow. Eventually after trying to get her mobile number, she stopped replying. I also tried to contact another person and got the same results, though she only replied once and that was it. You told me to think of another conversation starter and to be always truthful, always authentic, but more attractive. However, i been scratching my head and cant think of anything good to use..

Sann, after all these incidents, i start to feel that the problem is that i am boring. What u mention is true. I am an Aquarius, i really do not portray out my expressions as compared to many other people, i have feelings, i just don’t show it out. I have met a girl from tinder last month, we went out just for lunch for the first meeting. However, i really screwed up big time on our third meeting. We went to watch ‘ The Jungle Book ‘ , and i honestly admitted i didn’t talk much to her during the whole movie. I really didn’t know what in the world i was thinking at that time. It was probably my biggest mistake. We didn’t text for a month now.. i feel disappointed with myself.

I am currently working full time. My job is a 12 hour shift, and my workdays are random. There might be times when i am on day shift, and times when i am on night shift. I only get 2 days off each week. Because of this, i do not really have time to go out to find anything that interests me. I also do not like going out alone. Maybe this is one of the things pulling me down too.

Nina, i feel tired from the 12 hour shifts, but i kind of used to it. I still live with my parents. I really love reading. I am currently reading ‘ Thinking, Fast and Slow ‘ by Daniel Kahneman . It is a psychology book about the ways people think. I am taking my time to read it. I also have a few more books i have brought still waiting to be read. I know that tinder is more of a booty call app, however things are different here in my country, the girls here use tinder to make more friends and maybe a serious partner, and not for booty calls. This i know, because that is how it is like in my country.

Sorry for the late replies, i was busy at work.

Hi anita,

i had an emotional experience once. A few years ago, i was playing this mobile game and i happen to come across this girl. From there on, we had become best friends. More information about her : She was roughly the same age as me, and she live on the opposite side of the world ( US ) . Despite the timezone difference, we will still find time to chat everyday.

Slowly, problems started to develop. I became more clingy to her, and she didn’t like it. It was probably because i fell in love. However, she doesn’t feel the same.. I became very toxic, becoming angry and jealous at the slightest things. This really pissed her off. Numerous times, she blocked and unblocked me because of this.

Whenever she blocked me, i would text the other friends whom we met through the game ( they are all from different countries ) , many found me crazy and blocked me too. There were some that tried to help me, and they also warned me about my behaviors. I failed to heed them.

Only after almost close to 2 years do i realize that i am the problem in our friendship. I stopped contacting her because i can bring myself to give her any more problems. Approximately 2 months later, she sent me an text message, saying something along the lines of ” chris, maybe we should be friends again , if you want to, reply me ” , and i didn’t .. That was close to 2 years ago, now i really regretted it

She was the only best friend i ever had. But i was toxic, angry and jealous over silly stuff, which drove a wedge into our friendship. , i have no real hope of ever finding her again, i do not have her number anymore..

Hi anita ,

It felt like anxiety, the anxious feeling while waiting for her text. When i got blocked, i feel very restless, i wont have the mood to do anything at all.

Kind of like falling into a trap, which is love, and a one sided love at that.

Both are such horrible feelings . It is just like you are dying inside. Sometimes i still get the feelings now, but much lesser..

Hi anita,

Yes it was exciting, but its one sided.. i honestly admitted that i have had some online relationships before. And you would probably guess that they also ignored me after some time.

After they ignored me, or rather ‘dumped’ me , i would wait, and wait, for them to come back. But they wont. It just hurts. It is like they just woke up and suddenly decided not to talk to me anymore. They would read my messages, but wont reply.

I can also say that i really enjoyed the online relationships , it just feels great to have someone who ‘loves’ and ‘care’ about me ..

Hi anita,

The one liner i do send to the girls is ” Hi, i am Jun hao, 23 this year and currently working. How about you? ” .

However in my profile description, i put this :

i’ll admit im not a good conversation starter. Sometimes im damn quiet too. But thats how i am. Simply simple

Aquarius

My favourites types of music are ******

Currently reading ‘ Thinking, Fast & Slow ‘ by Daniel Kahneman .

^ The above is what i put on my profile. I never put what i am looking for.

I been using tinder for a few months already, i meet up with 2 girls from there. I guess waiting is a must. I recently had more matches after changing to that profile description as i mentioned above, and adding another profile picture, as compared to previously.

But most of them just match with me and dont reply. And relationships need time, so i probably have to learn to take it slowly..