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AM I BEING PLAYED?

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • February 16, 2022 at 4:05 pm #392868
    Arie1276
    Participant

    In November of 2021, i met a guy on a dating site who is from another country but lives here in the states.    We hit it off right away.  We would see each other at least once or twice a week on his days off for a few hours  because he works for his family’s restaurant which he says he works everyday from opening til close and has off 2 days during the week.   We never spent a weekend together, a holiday together, or even met each other’s families or friends.    We text back n forth and tell each each other we love each other and miss each other.  He will always ask me  what i am doing and i will tell him. Not once have i asked him what he was doing.  I feel he is checking up on me.   When we do see each other its always for a few hours and then he will leave or i will have to leave because he lives with a room mate who is a guy.  Yes i checked every room of the apartment to make sure it wasn’t a girl when he was in his bathroom.   I really like this guy alot . We never talked about the future with us, we never go out, its always my place or his.  When he’s at work he will text me he was busy.  I am always asking him to see him .  Once i caught him back on the same dating site and i confronted him about it and he stormed out of my place telling me i didn’t trust him and he didn’t know how his profile appeared back on there , I mean he was upset and left.  I caught him and he didn’t know what to say to me.   Then we started talking again.  Everything was fine until he started to block me on certain days like on Tuesdays and then will get upset because i never responded to him when in all reality, i did text him and he never got them cause he blocked me and acted like it was the phone doing it.  This would go on for weeks.  I let it go because maybe he was having phone issue when deep down i knew i was blocked.   He would block me on fb messenger but not block me on whatsapp.  We are not friends on facebook.   Then we would go without seeing each other for a whole week and then he would tell me he would let me know when i can see him.   This has been going on for the past month.   Now recently, he blocked me again on valentines day and then unblocked me later that night and blocked me again until later afternoon yesterday (tuesday).  Then he would send me texts asking why  i didn’t text him .  I responded telling him i did text him but since i was blocked  my texts would not go through and that i was blocked all day.   He played dumb telling me it was his phone and he didn’t understand why it did that.  I was getting annoyed by the minute and mad becuase he thought i was dumb.  When i questioned him he got angry at me and now is not talking to me, but reading my texts.   The only things I can think of is that he was busy at work and didnt’ want texts or calls,  he didn’t want me bothering him, or he had a girl next to him .  Whether or not any of that is true i have no idea.   I feel he doesn’t care about my feelings, or doesn’t want to put any effort in our so called relationship, hes cheating on me, or he has a girlfriend and hes cheating on her with me.  I will never know cause he will lie about it anyways.   I can’t ask his friends because I do not know them.   I really do not know what to do. Am I being played or am i just a fool for falling for a player.

    February 16, 2022 at 4:16 pm #392872
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jennifer:

    I will be able to read and reply to you in a few hours.

    anita

    February 16, 2022 at 7:32 pm #392883
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jennifer:

    You shared that you met a guy three months ago on an online dating site, November 2021. The two of you spent time together 1-2 times per week, on weekdays, for a few hours each time, either in your place or in his, never going out on dates or meeting each other’s family or friends. You texted each other that you “love each other and miss each other“, but ever talked about the future. At one time he was back on the dating site, at other times he blocked you and denied that he did, then unblocked you, you haven’t seen him for a week. He blocked you recently on Valentine’s Day, a few days ago, then unblocked you a day later.

    “I feel he doesn’t care about my feelings” – I agree.  “or doesn’t want to put any effort in our so-called relationship” – I agree.  “I really do not know what to do” – I don’t think that there is anything for you to do other than (1) Have nothing to do with him anymore and (2) Learn from the experience: in the future, see to it that if you are interested in dating a guy, go out on dates with him, talk about the future and meet his friends and family, over time. “Am I being played or am I just a fool for falling for a player“- seems to me that he was interested in just having sex with you, and that he told you that he loved you, so that you will be willing to have sex with him. Also, seems to me that you were quiet about what you wanted and went along with whatever he wanted, not being assertive with him.

    Please let me know what you think about this reply, and I would like to post to you again when I am back to the computer in about 11 hours from now.

    anita

    February 16, 2022 at 10:44 pm #392892
    Tommy
    Participant

    Asking this question, you already know the answer. Being treated less than what you feel is right?

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Tommy.
    February 17, 2022 at 3:02 am #392900
    Arie1276
    Participant

    Thank you for your reply.  You are right. After re reading what I wrote , and reading your reply… it’s time to let him go.  He doesn’t care about me at all and that hurts.  If he cared he would not be playing me like a fool.

    February 17, 2022 at 6:04 am #392904
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jennifer:

    I am sorry that your feelings got hurt. It hurts to believe that someone cares for you, and then find out that he doesn’t. He texted you that he loved you and missed you, but texting and saying words is very easy to do, it takes seconds and no physical effort at all. This is why it is important to get to know a man over time, to ask him questions, listen to his answers, and most importantly, look at his behavior over time before you conclude that a person cares for you, or not.

    Lots of men who are interested in having sex but not in a loving relationship, know if they tell a young woman who is interested in a loving relationship (dates, meeting friends and family, etc.), if they tell her these three words, I love you, she sorts of melts in their arms and becomes easy to have sex with. She melts because she imagines that the guy loves her, while in reality, he feels like having sex, that’s all.

    anita

     

    February 18, 2022 at 10:48 pm #393092
    Tommy
    Participant

    Zen monks who travelled the land would often stop at Zen Buddhist temples looking for a place for the night. At times, there would be a sort of Zen Dual. If the travelling monk could defeat the temple representative in a silent battle of Buddhist thoughts or understanding then they would be allowed to stay. One day, there was a travelling monk looking for a place to stay for the night.  The Abbot, who was very busy at the time, assign his pupil to go greet the monk. His pupil was a rather large fellow who only had one eye after losing the other eye in a childhood accident. So, he goes to the entry way and greets the travelling monk. The Monk bows and then puts up one finger. The abbot’s pupil bows and puts up two fingers. The travelling monk then bows and walks away. The Abbot sees the travelling monk and asked him what had happened. The monk said that he put up one finger to show the we are one with the world. Then the abbot’s student put up two fingers to show the duality that we all live under. Therefore, after having loss, the travelling monk was leaving. A little later, the Abbot saw his student and asked him what had happened. The student replied that the monk was very rude. He held up one finger to show me that I had only one eye. So, I held up two fingers to congratulate him on having two eyes. Then he turns and runs away. If I find him I will beat him up. The Abbot just smiles.

    It is easy to misunderstand people cause we are into what we believe is going on. The truth is sometimes a little harder to see. I wish you happiness in your journey.

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Tommy.
    February 24, 2022 at 4:15 am #393632
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    Please don’t feel too badly about this as it happens a lot.

    I hope I dont upset or offend you to say that you were really accepting crumbs from this person.  I dont think he sounds like a nice man.

    February 24, 2022 at 2:36 pm #393659
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jennifer:

    I wonder how you are feeling today, a week after you last posted?

    anita

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