Dear friends,

It is in the middle of the night and I had a huge fight with my husband. Since the bezinning of our relationship, four years ago I have been paying the bills. Last year I got pregnant and we kind of made the deal that he would finish his phd and find a job before the baby was Born. This never happened. During my pregnancy and still I work fulltime to support our family. I feel very bitter about this because the first two years of our relationship I already payed a lot of stuff so he could work on his phd fulltime. I really wanted to take care of my baby and find a nicer job than being a lawyer, but all this is impossible because he does not finish his phd and find a Well paying job. Whenever I feel unhappy about my life I start blaming him, because I feel it is all his fault. I really dont like my job, and feel like I Cannot be myself in the workplace. Because I work a lot and have a baby it is difficult for me to make new friends, because I mainly meet people in the working place, where I Cannot be myself. It makes me feel very depressed, because I feel lonely and unfulfilled, but whenever I try to talk about it with my husband we get into a fight. He sais I am depressed all the time and have too much self Pity, because nobody likes their job and I make good money and have good working circumstances, like a lot of independence possibilities for schooling etc. He sais that I only think about myself, that I constantly blame him, but that his life is also not easy, combining all kind of Side jobs while finishing his phd and taking care of the baby. Whenever I express my depression about me having an unfullfilling job, he sais that I am ungrateful and that they should all take it away from me and then I decide iF I want my life back or not. I tell him that I do blame him because of him I have no choice to take a job I like or be with the baby at home for Some time. Moreover because of my long working Hours combined with a baby I have no energie to do anything in the evenings or weekends, his suggestion for making my life more fullfilled. Everytime he sais things like this I feel very alone and misunderstood and angry at him because he caused the whole difficult situation. Then he sais ‘ I never blame you for anything! I dont come to you with depression! ‘ the difference is that he is still on the way of fullfilling his Dreams but I let go of mine because of financial necessity to support all of us. Conclusion is that I Cannot talk with him about my depression, while he is my main friend at the moment. I feel so alone and overwhelmed by the whole situation. I feel like my life is over and I dont have any changes in the near future. I feel like I want to break up with my husband because I feel like he is only dragging me down, but I Cannot because I need him to help with the baby.then whenever I blame him for something, his response is to not do anything at all anymore because he sAis it does not matter what he does anyways because I blame him anyway. I feel so alone, there is nobody I can turn to. A lot of times I dont feel like living anymore, but when I tell this to my husband he sais I am just self centered and that I spit on all the Gifts I got in life. What do you think about this situation, I need Some advice. Should I stay with my husband?