Inky is right. But it seems to me that you are waiting for a majority of 3 out of 5 people to say “YES”, coz that is what you really want – TO SEND THE LETTER.
Think twice before you act. As humans we always have a choice and that means what comes after we should be prepared for it — the consequences.
While your letter is beautiful, it seems like a last ditch effort to get him back. Its not closure.

I disagree!

Jade, I feel that people are not in your shoes emotionally. Everybody is different & operates differently, which is something we need to honor and respect of people. Now, that doesn’t give anyone the right to hurt other people, lead them on or judge others without knowing the facts but I certainly do feel that nobody lives inside your head, body, heart and soul to know what aches and how badly it may feel. So in saying all this, I believe that if sending the letter is going maybe help you then SEND IT. Sometimes rejection is the closure we need and it’s better to do it now than look back in the future and say to yourself “I wish I had sent that letter.” You have nothing to lose Jade anyway, if you lost him you lost him but you won’t know anything for sure unless you send the letter.

None of us personally know this person to say he will reject you or not respond to you. However I don’t believe you should wait 3 years, too many things can transpire and change within 3 years, That’s just my personal opinion. I was in your shoes once with my now ex/lost lover a year ago and for so many years I tortured myself because I was so terrified of rejection. I wasn’t terrified of rejection itself because of EGO, that certainly wasn’t the lack of my motivation to find her sooner BUT what was actually terrifying me was knowing the emotional pain I’d have to endure along with it. I loved her deeply for so many years, longer that I should have because I truly believed in our love enough to go out of my way and conquer the hurdle of that fear of hurting from rejection. I had invested so many years emotionally into OUR relationship and I felt it was time to know & accept the final truth. I was torturing myself for too long because of stupid FEAR, I was tired of living that way! Fear is not a healthy way to live and certainly not a healthy way of life for that matter. I needed to know and so one day very un-expectedly I had finally had enough of being afraid, I didn’t plan my course of action precisely, I was totally and completely un-prepared BUT something very strong compelled me to just face her to know the truth or else I knew deep down in my heart I would regret it for the rest of my life. I’ve read so many articles about people on their death beds and their top 10 deepest regrets and each and every different article I read, all of them were ” I regret being afraid of taking chances” “Fear” all of it was fear related and wishing they would have done something that they didn’t do in their past.

I always have talks with myself and I tell myself that I don’t want to die with any lingering regrets (Whether I pass away un-expectedly or on a death bed.) I don’t want to leave this life/earth with my soul feeling like it had un-finished business to attend to. Rejection or no rejection, we have to trust the universe and we have to trust ourselves That everything happens for a reason. Whether it is to wake you, teach you a lesson, conquer fear, love yourself more, maybe to allow love into your life. The universe always is trying to show us and teach us things, so if you’re a positive person you will see things through a positive prospective and if you are negative person, than that is what you will see and that is what you believe you life is. I feel it’s better to be an optimist, that is how I live each day. I trust god and the universe to guide me each day, we have nothing to lose when it comes to LOVE except our pride or our ego. In my case I did everything in my power with good intention to save my relationship, I faced my fears, conquered them and took action with love in my heart. Sadly, things did not turn out the way one would have hoped but I did accept the rejection and had to keep living life. It was out of my hands and so I told myself and I told god that If she did in fact love me as much as I loved her, she would take action and invite me back into her life. I went out of my way so many times for so many years. It was now her turn to take action to show me that she loved me back too.

Sorry that this was so long and I know my story seems complex but going into all the details is just not necessary. My point to everything that I mentioned above is that I was loyal all those years, whether she believes it or not isn’t my problem but I KNOW and god KNOWS that I was completely loyal to her. I gave 100% to find her and show her I still loved her and now it is her turn to give 100% back. That may or may not ever happen and that’s fine either way but when someone truly loves you, that will give you back 100% too. A successful relationship is never one-sided with 1 person giving their all and taking action. It has to come from both lovers in order for it to work. Jade, I hope you send that letter. You’ve got nothing to lose but time. If he rejects you, it’s better to hurt for awhile than to wonder for the rest of your life. If he isn’t the one for you because he does reject you, in time you will meet somebody wonderful that will show you how much they love you & give you 100% back. If he doesn’t reject you and writes you back/contacts you some other way and says he wants to be with you again, then it was meant to be. Remember, we don’t know how someone is truly feeling until we sit down and talk them ourselves.

Even on tinybuddha, not everyone is exposing their entire emotions and that is healthy. People on here tell us what they feel comfortable telling us and that is just fine but at some point we need to take all the advice that has been given to us and formulate our own course of action and eventually move on. I see too many people lingering, being angry and constantly going back and forth on here which doesn’t solve anything. Taking action and coming up with a resolution is what will truly bring us REAL peace in the end. Being effecient, open and communicative with our hearts when it comes to people we are having conflict with, will lead us to a much more happier life path so that we can move forward and get out of the trap of being stuck in one place. When we do things, we must always do it with love & kindness in our hearts.

I wish you well & best wishes. **Hugs**

I sympathize with your heartbreak.

However I do believe you are not seeing things clearly. If someone breaks up with you it is up to them to repair the relationship… But the real question is why would you even consider dating someone who doesn’t love you in return? Doesn’t this sound like an unhealthy relationship? Masochistic behavior? Please focus your energy on self improvement and finding a more suitable mate… Women have plenty of options these days as they are in shortage.

I would use this as a learning experience. Looks and physical attraction initially attract a male but it the personality that makes them stay. Were you a positive sweet and supportive mate or one that was negative and nagging? How well you treat your bf plays a very large role in the outcome. In return your mate should be confident, affectionate, and a lot of fun.

To be honest in your email it sounds like your ego is having a difficult time being dumped. Do not take it personal as even the rich powerful and beautiful get their hearts kicked around.

Sometimes the most empowering thing you can do is nothing. This will prove to your ex that you are over them not by writing a “I know we had to breakup before you actually dumped me” type of letter. The only exception to this rule is in the rare case that you really messed up such as cheating, threatening, or being unloving. In that case, by all means swallow your pride and admit fault… But the letter should read more along the lines of… “I’m sorry for how I treated you. It was wrong. I still care deeply about you. Can we grab coffee this week?”.

Namaste

Sorry, I’ve overlooked some of the messages in between… shooting through holes here 😉

Hi Jade
I was in somewhere a similar position 3 years+ back, which is kinda the time u are intending to time the sending of your email into the future. I hope to share it, mayb it will give some perspective in the best case scenario 🙂

Then, i thought i will never move on, it looked so hard so bleak so dark at that time. During moments of light, i was thankful things did not work out cos i knew it wasnt right. In moments of darkness, i wished and wished things could be different that i cannot forgive myself of wasting my own time by not being stronger (whether during or after the r/s). I definitely tried to reach out to him to pour out those emotions, and I said things that looking back now with hindsight, was unnecessary.

With hindsight, it was not necesary for me to say anymore after it was over. Nothing said could turn back time, or change the way things turned out. The more i repeated it in my head, the more i felt dragged back inch by inch from the baby steps i took in moving on. It took me 9 months and a stint in europe to get past the impact of that failed r/s. That hurt never truly went away, but i compartmentalised it and I am so glad its gone now (3 years on).

Now i have a new life, with someone else and i actually wished I met this present someone those years then… so u see, u never know. Before i met this someone 1.5 years ago, i was giving up on r/s becos the last one hit me so bad. Time changes things, and sometimes that heals us.

Good luck to building a better life!