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Bad luck or destined to be?

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  • #36761
    Jeff
    Participant

    I’m not really sure which topic post to put this under, but I guess this one fits it the closest.

    So- I’ve had a ton of stuff happen to me in the past year. I won’t go into detail because I’ve done that in another post. To be short, I’ve experienced divorce, death, mental illness, and severe depression. Today I came out to go to work and saw that someone had smashed in my driver side window to break into my car. And- I kid you not- our forecast for today was sunny. I no sooner heard that when the rain started! So I had to put a garbage bag over the broken window to keep the rain out since it can’t be fixed until tomorrow.

    So my question is- is there really such a thing as “bad luck” or “good luck” or is all that happens some sort of fate or destiny because these things need to happen to us to teach some greater lesson? I’m not trying to sound facetious. I’m genuinely curious if others think bad luck is real.

    #36767

    Hello Jeff,

    I do not believe in luck of either kind. I believe we create (from our subconscious or awareness) all that happens to us. Perhaps I believe in destiny – if that means guidance on the path of life. It is important to go inside and look at what we believe about ourselves and where those beliefs came from. I’ve done this and I’ve changed my life.

    I wonder if you have thought about changing your perception of all the things which have occurred in your life recently? I believe all of what happens to us in life just is. We erroneously label what is happening to us as good or bad, when it simply is. People get sick and/or die, relationships don’t work, and people do things which are destructive – all is part of life. There are things we can control and things we cannot.

    Most of what we experience as “difficult” helps makes us stronger, if we have lived to tell about it. So in that sense it can be viewed as having been a positive in our lives.

    Love and peace,

    Marilyn

    #36771
    Peter
    Participant

    I don’t believe in luck, destiny, or fate, and my jury is still out on karma.

    Personally, I think they’re dead end roads that don’t lead anywhere or if anything, it’s a slippery slope towards complacency and superstition – if what befalls you is predestined, what’s the point of taking action if the outcome has already been defined or you could affect the outcome by being born on the right date, walking around with rabbits’ feet, knocking on wood, throwing coins in fountains, or salt over your shoulder.

    In essence, I don’t believe things happen for a reason, they just happen. Furthermore, to question why is actually pointless. Here’s a story that illustrates this point really well:

    “It’s just as if a man were wounded with an arrow thickly smeared with poison. His friends & companions, kinsmen & relatives would provide him with a surgeon, and the man would say, ‘I won’t have this arrow removed until I know whether the man who wounded me was a noble warrior, a priest, a merchant, or a worker.’ He would say, ‘I won’t have this arrow removed until I know the given name & clan name of the man who wounded me… until I know whether he was tall, medium, or short… until I know whether he was dark, ruddy-brown, or golden-colored… until I know his home village, town, or city… until I know whether the bow with which I was wounded was a long bow or a crossbow… until I know whether the bowstring with which I was wounded was fiber, bamboo threads, sinew, hemp, or bark… until I know whether the shaft with which I was wounded was wild or cultivated… until I know whether the feathers of the shaft with which I was wounded were those of a vulture, a stork, a hawk, a peacock, or another bird… until I know whether the shaft with which I was wounded was bound with the sinew of an ox, a water buffalo, a langur, or a monkey.’ He would say, ‘I won’t have this arrow removed until I know whether the shaft with which I was wounded was that of a common arrow, a curved arrow, a barbed, a calf-toothed, or an oleander arrow.’ The man would die and those things would still remain unknown to him.” – Cula-Malunkyovada Sutta

    I agree with Marilyn wholeheartedly – focus your energy elsewhere. Firstly, work on actively changing your perception of things – your mind is a lot more malleable than you think and you can experience stress, anxiety, and calamities with a lot more resiliency provided that you have the proper training (i.e. meditation) Secondly, direct your energy towards taking action. If someone smashed your car window, then all you can do is fix it. Chances are, it’s going to get smashed again and again and again. If it’s not your car window, then it’s your home window or maybe a glass or a plate. Even your heart will get smashed over and over and over again. To try to think or hope for otherwise is futile.

    This is not meant to put you or anyone on a downer, but there’s a lot of strength building and growth in accepting that the cycle of up and down is never ending. Whether or not calamities will happen or when they will happen or with what magnitude is not within our control, how we choose to experience these cycles is.

    #37027
    Laleh
    Participant

    Watch Caroline Myss videos on you tube, you will get your answer. We all do have fate and destiny, but we choose how to go through them. So it means there are not mistakes or wrong paths, as all these great teachers say, it’s just important with one intention you make your decision, eventually you will reach were you supose to reach, in this lifetime or another. AND THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LUCK. So take a breath and relax. It’s all moving energy, you were probably needed to pay attention to somethig, an energy you were carrying, or something else in your life, and universe is trying to grab your attention, I’ve had a ver hard year as well, and I know that , universe tries to grab your attention with small nudges, and if you don’t listen or pay attention, because you are too busy trying to fix things, or hold on to things instead of just be in the moment and listen, the whispers get louder and louder, and it repeats as many times as it needs to until you learn what you suppose to learn. You do have a choice, choice to listen and go down your path a lot smoother than you were going before, I learned this lesson in a hard way as well. Read the power of intention by wayne dyer as well, it will change your life.
    Hope this helps
    Love
    Danubelle
    http://www.danubelle.com

    #37820
    Emily
    Participant

    Hello Jeff, sorry to hear your bad news.

    You can not allow yourself to thing that things are happening because of bad luck or it will bring you down.
    Try not to dwell on your past, learn what you can and keep going strong and remember to smile.
    i personally have had some bad times too and my friend told me that as a result i wouldnt allow happiness into myself because i didnt feel any point in it because bad things kept happening!
    so she bought me this book, and i think maybe you should try it.
    ‘the secret – by rhonda byrne, is a clever little book which is all about allowing yourself to be happier and enjoy simple things in life.
    and i read this book every day because it keeps me happy, it keeps me thinking that good things can happen if i work hard for them.
    Dont let your past control your future and your now.

    Keep postive, Smile, love yourself do things in life that make you happy.
    those you have lost, would want you happy.
    If you learn to focus on yourself and your own happiness then more love and happiness can come into your life.
    thing about the things that you want, and things that can make you happier.
    Better food, sports, spending time with family, friends
    the more you think about your own happiness better things can happen.

    hope this helps,
    always here if you need someone to help or listen

    em

    #38415
    JAC
    Participant

    These are life lessons or clearing of karma.. Sometimes these situations are subtle, sometimes blunt. However, you are supposed to go through this as part of your life path.

    The mind tends to label a situation when there really is no good or bad situations. When we allow the mind to label a situation, we miss the opportunity to learn . A friend I know ripped a tendon in her knee and needs surgery. She sees it at bad. I see this as a wake up call to shake her obese frame and lose weight. To take better care of herself and her knee. She then can avoid future health problems and live a healthier life.

    I’ve seen another person go through this vicious cycle of ego and horrible fighting with his ex wife to keep his business. Clearly, the ex wife and the misery is part of the lesson but his perspective enslaves him. If he could see this situation as a learning lesson and move on from the business, there is an abudancy awaiting him on the other side.

    We really limit ourselves by our perspective.

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by JAC.
    #38421
    Matt
    Participant

    JAC,

    Some things which are true are not helpful in the moment. For instance, perhaps with your friend it is unhelpful to say “you’re fat and this is a wake up to care for yourself”. Rather, as loving friends who can see into the situation more discerningly, we can help them uncover the steps of the path and the motivation to walk it.

    With warmth,
    Matt

    #38505
    JAC
    Participant

    Matt,

    I pointed out by observation how her perspective limits her scope of fully understanding the lessons of her situation for an example to the op. It is not my place to discuss her life lessons with her.

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