Dear Danny:

“On days like these (the struggling kind) I’ve started to feel I’m not doing my best which in turn leads to self criticism… Even on my more productive days, when I review if I was my best self, I then think ‘I should of dine an extra 5 minutes of breath work… What is your best? How can it be defined?“-

– unfortunately for you (and for the many people suffering the from the ruthless harassment of a harsh, never-to-be-satisfied  inner critic), your best is never good enough: your best = never good enough, according to the harsh inner critic.

With a harsh inner critic what happens is that you have days that you are doing great, but those days are followed by days that are the opposite. To do well consistently, you have to adopt a different kind of inner critic.

Too often, when a child grows up with a harsh, critical parent, the child’s brain internalizes the harsh, critical parent. There are ways to .. do your best to change your inner critic so that it doesn’t harass you anymore. You will do much better in life if you have a gentle and fair inner critic.

anita

Dear Danny:

You are welcome. “If my best is never good enough, what should I aspire to be each day, if not the best version of myself?“- if your best is never good enough for your inner critic, aspire to fire the harsh, unfair, disapproving critic and replace him with a gentle, fair, positive inner critic.

Imagine you are working for a boss who keeps telling you that your work is not good enough, no matter how hard you try.. do you keep trying forevermore to be good enough for that boss, or do you “fire’ that boss and seek another for whom you are good enough?

anita