Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Be your best everyday – a wise ambition?
- This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 3 months, 1 week ago by Arden.
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March 20, 2024 at 4:31 am #428799DannyParticipant
For years, my daily aim was to be my best.
Recently, I have struggled to define what my best is?
Some days it’s waking up at 4am, getting a sea swim in, breath work, gym and journaling. Others days it’s barely getting out of bed in time to make work. On days like these (the struggling kind) I’ve started to feel I’m not doing my best which in turn leads to self criticism. But on these days, is the struggle still not the best that I can achieve on that particular day? Particularly if external factors that are outside of my control, such as neighbours having a party disturbing my sleep etc.
Even on my more productive days, when I review if I was my best self, I then think “I should of dine an extra 5 minutes of breath work, I should of hit a PR on my squat”
<p style=”text-align: left;”>What is your best? How can it be defined? Can it actually be achieved, as there can always be more done. Is “Being your best / doing your best” a good target to aim for each day?</p>March 20, 2024 at 8:08 am #428803anitaParticipantDear Danny:
“On days like these (the struggling kind) I’ve started to feel I’m not doing my best which in turn leads to self criticism… Even on my more productive days, when I review if I was my best self, I then think ‘I should of dine an extra 5 minutes of breath work… What is your best? How can it be defined?“-
– unfortunately for you (and for the many people suffering the from the ruthless harassment of a harsh, never-to-be-satisfied inner critic), your best is never good enough: your best = never good enough, according to the harsh inner critic.
With a harsh inner critic what happens is that you have days that you are doing great, but those days are followed by days that are the opposite. To do well consistently, you have to adopt a different kind of inner critic.
Too often, when a child grows up with a harsh, critical parent, the child’s brain internalizes the harsh, critical parent. There are ways to .. do your best to change your inner critic so that it doesn’t harass you anymore. You will do much better in life if you have a gentle and fair inner critic.
anita
March 21, 2024 at 3:21 am #428850DannyParticipantThank you Anita. You are right, my best is rarely good enough, although I do believe I have achieved self satisfaction from my efforts many times.
If my best is never good enough, what should I aspire to be each day, if not the best version of myself?
March 21, 2024 at 7:28 am #428855anitaParticipantDear Danny:
You are welcome. “If my best is never good enough, what should I aspire to be each day, if not the best version of myself?“- if your best is never good enough for your inner critic, aspire to fire the harsh, unfair, disapproving critic and replace him with a gentle, fair, positive inner critic.
Imagine you are working for a boss who keeps telling you that your work is not good enough, no matter how hard you try.. do you keep trying forevermore to be good enough for that boss, or do you “fire’ that boss and seek another for whom you are good enough?
anita
July 4, 2024 at 2:52 pm #434671ArdenParticipantI think being best might mean aligning with what you have done and having no problems with that.
Knowing from within what you want, or a type of thing you *might* want (for instance success, or money or a better life) and knowing that maybe today has been a day for a good improvement and being done that, or having done slight bit of improvement, or maybe non because of laziness or an excuse. But knowing you were not able to do what you wanted to do for whatever reason, you can make an effort to make it up for it the next day.
I think being your best includes that. Being true to what you want, trying to achieve it while taking responsibility of your own capabilities and shortcomings. Being true to your mind, sincere to your goals.
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