Bellybutton,

I definitely felt that way a few years ago. I must have been about 14-17. I cared way too much about my appearance and I was never quite happy with it. I hated my body. I thought I was a few pounds overweight, that my arms were to hairy, that my hair was ugly, etc.

I tried to bleach my arm hair, but wasn’t happy with that, so I started shaving my arms. Then I couldn’t stop shaving them because well, they would start feeling prickly. I felt that as a girl I shouldn’t have sideburns, well, I got obsessed about that and started shaving them off. I got so obsessive about it that I then started plucking the little hairs when they started growing in. I was so obsessed about the issue with my sideburns that I started plucking them in class!! That was freshmen year in high school.

I wore a lot of eye shadow, eye liner, and mascara. I always used vibrant colors. What weened my off of make up was that 1) it was such a hassle to take it off at the end of the day 2) a lot of people told me I looked a lot better without make up 3) I came to realize that using such bold colors did not suit me and probably made me look like a clown 4) I realized how other girls who used a lot of make up looked very ill when they didn’t wear any, and quite frankly I didn’t want that to happen to me.

Over the course of 4 years I slowly stopped wearing make up. First I started by letting go of the eye shadow, then the foundation, etc. I didn’t give myself a time line. I just did what I thought I was ready for. After I graduated high school I took a year off, and I believe that really gave me the time to start feeling good about my body and appearance. I stopped shaving my arms, let my sideburns grow out, and stopped wearing make up for the most part. I still wear eye liner and mascara and lipstick, but it’s once in a blue moon. Lipsticks though I do wear about once a week or so. I find that I am much more confident and comfortable with myself now. It wasn’t so much the break from school that helped me, but rather that I took the time to accept myself as I am.

I used to care what others thought about me, but then I came to the realization that it’s my body, and the only person I have to please is myself. I wasn’t put on this planet to please others. It does take a while to become comfortable in your skin, but once you do, it’s the best thing.

Sure, I’m still self conscious about my body at times, I think the pores on my face are huge, that my eyebrows need to get waxed again, etc. But I believe that we all struggle with those sorts of things on a regular basis.

Just think that other people are probably self-conscious about their appearance as well. And you want to know what? Chances are that what others are worried about, you don’t perceive as an issue, it is hardly noticeable. Just like what you think is an issue on your body, others more likely than not, do not notice it.

You have a long road ahead of you, but it’s a great thing that you are moving a step in the right direction. Don’t rush yourself. Only do what you feel you are ready to do. Take baby steps, and as you start wearing less make up, you’ll see that others hardly notice or care.

Everyone has something to be proud of physically. You may like the way your eyebrows are thick (this happens to be my biggest shame – i pull out my eyebrows from anxiety so I hate the way they look).

You might like the length of your fingers, how soft your skin is, the color of your eyes, your smile, your teeth, the shape of your nails.

Find something about you that you admire. Start there. Try to focus on positive things you feel about yourself, because I am willing to bet there is at least one thing about you that you will like if you give yourself a chance to see it 🙂

Wow, does this post resonate with me!! I recently was diagnosed as having an eating disorder. I’ve carried it around with me for years, living in denial and never realized how much it was devastating me. The big realization through having an ED is that I also suffer from body dysmorphic disorder. It’s been a large part of my therapy conversations and I’ve learned a few good tricks that are really helping me to overcome it. I thought I’d share in case they could help you too.

A mantra that my therapist taught me that I repeat to myself when I’m having a particularly bad day is “The body is for doing not viewing.” It reminds me to pay attention to all the wonderful things my body can do – and that it’s about so much more than how it looks.

Another realization I’ve had is that I compare myself WAY too much to other people. My whole life, it’s been my only way to know whether I’m good (i.e., I’m better than that person so I must be doing good) or bad (i.e, she is skinnier than me, I need to go on a diet). My therapist brought up the damage this was doing and said “There’s no such thing as perfection. There is always going to be someone better than you, so if that’s your measuring stick, how will you ever be good enough??” That really hit me. I realized I could spend my whole life trying to reach an unattainable goal and hating myself the whole time for “failing” or I could just let go. Every time I find myself comparing now, I interrupt the thought and say one positive thing about myself instead. It’s a loooong road, but every journey starts with one step. And, even a baby step counts as the first step 🙂