fbpx
Menu

being surrounded with bitter people and lonliness

HomeForumsShare Your Truthbeing surrounded with bitter people and lonliness

New Reply
Viewing 15 posts - 211 through 225 (of 246 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #412571
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Farnaz:

    (No need to apologize as far as I am concerned). Thank you for the note, I appreciate it: good night to you, rest well, and see ya tomorrow, Farnaz!

    anita

    #412617
    farnaz
    Participant

    Dear Anita

    Thank you for understanding

    It will be a pleasure for me to agree with you at any time that I agree with you, and there’s been lots of pleasure so far! aaww that is  so precious , thank you , that was a pleasure to me to agree with you too , im not just saying that , many many times im impressed by your ability to analyze the situation .

    Yes, only she (the mother) exists. There is no one else in the whole wide world but her, a victimized deity. She (the mother-deity) was born to have a superior, majestic life fitting her deity-ness, but alas: she received the short end of the stick… poor unacknowledged and mistreated deity. this reminds me a particular mother an infamous one called diane dawnes who killed her children because she wanted to be with another guy who didnt want kids , only one survived out of 3 , who became paralyzed , again when police arrested her in suspicion of murder she got pregnant to get sympathy and elongate the period before trial , you can watch the documentaries about her in youtube , i cant find a better example of abusing children for benefits of the mother.

    I ate (the soup) for you too, lol“- you must have left some in your plate because I am smelling and tasting it right now… delicious! lol , unlike me you have a very good sense of smell

     

     

    This step mother is like a teenager, 13, or 14, and an immature one, Stuck in a development age with a passive-aggressive, sneaky, gossipy, competitive and unintelligent personality, never to break free from it. I imagined for a moment being in your shoes, and this.. (not a lady) Lady Tremaine living with me, it wouldn’t have ended well, not for me and not for her… it’d be nightmare.speaking of unintelligent , oh my god , that`s the worse part , i mean if you add stupidity to all her unpleasant traits , it would be unbearable . there is an old saying in persian which is in my opinion very brilliant and i quote A wise enemy is better than an stupid friend, at least i could respect the first one .  another of her very good qualities were enjoying her sweet times when she made a chias , it was natural like breathing to her , i bet she misses this part alot .

    stevia/ monk fruit sugar (noncaloric natural sweeteners.. i `ve never heard of it , i searched a little bit about that , and it turned out it grows naturally around north of Iran , where i live, but i should search more

    congrats to your 20 kilo loss too , thats hard thing to do .I prefer way fewer choices because it’s easier to choose when you have fewer choices, and I don’t want to try e.x., all the many flavors of ice-cream and the many desserts.. too many calories and I don’t burn that many! there is some thing called sugar addiction and its as powerful as cocaine addiction . nobody can burn that many . about the time i decided to lose weight i was paying attention to prices much more and i realized usually the price for flavored full of sugar or salt is much lower for healthy alternative snacks in first look obviously of you buy the ingredients and cook it multiple times then that would be cheaper  plus its ready , but you should prepare most of healthy food , the price for soda and industrial fruit juice is depressingly low and its available , there is a conspiracy against people held by food industries

    far

     

    #412626
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Farnaz:

    You are welcome and thank you: it is a great pleasure and benefit for me to be here with you, to communicate as we do!

    “This reminds me a particular mother an infamous one called Diane Downs who killed her children because she wanted to be with another guy who didn’t want kids…“- I read at least one True Crime book on Diane Downs (“Small Sacrifices: A True Story of Passion and Murder” by Ann Rule). True Crime used to be my genre and I read a lot of it. One reason was that I was better able to understand my mother when reading about murderers. Here is a quote from the book I just mentioned, in regard to Diane Downs, a quote that perfectly fits my mother: “histrionics never learn to give up center stage or their beloved mirrors“.

    Speaking of unintelligent, oh my god, that’s the worst part, I mean, if you add stupidity to all her unpleasant traits, it would be unbearable. There is an old saying in Persian which is, in my opinion, very brilliant, and I quote: ‘A wise enemy is better than a stupid friend’, at least I could respect the first one“- it’s the combination of my mother’s ignorance and her insistence to not learn, that angers me. No matter how hard I tried, as a teenager and onward, having read books on mental health and such, to teach her something, anything at all…  she INSISTED to not learn, not a SINGLE THING.

    Another of her very good qualities were enjoying her sweet times when she made a (chaos?) , it was natural like breathing to her“- I think that my mother had to make her internal, private chaos=> external and public. It was a relief to not be in chaos all by herself.

    There is something called sugar addiction… the price for flavored, full of sugar or salt, is much lower than healthy alternative snacks… there is a conspiracy against people held by food industries“- sugar and the combination of salt and sugar is addictive and food industries will do anything and everything to increase sales and profit, as long as they can legally get away with it. Because adding sugar and salt is cheap, not illegal and profitable, these are added to numerous products.

    Stevia grows in northern Iran…? Maybe it is an economic opportunity for people there (it is very expensive here and it is my biggest chosen indulgence, as far as expense goes).

    anita

    #412642
    farnaz
    Participant

    dear Anita

    i know it`s kind of late but happy 15th page , lol .

    You are welcome and thank you: it is a great pleasure and benefit for me to be here with you, to communicate as we do!thank you . this  is the part of the day i look forward , it is stress relieving for me personally .

     A True Story of Passion and Murder” by Ann Rule so you are also interested in true crimes, me too . the reality is always stranger than fiction , isnt it ? i was into reading more   when i was a teenage but i got lazy , i prefer watching videos rather than reading , latter  is more engaging but i do another stuff while watching these videos , good stuff obviously , lol . it was interesting for me that you actually read this case , but im not sure  Ann rule was her daughter or an author who wrote her story ?because i remember her daughter who was adapted later in her life contacted Diane , did she write a book ? … and Diane was accusing her daughter to plot against her,  crazy and delusional . to be fair you can`t expect better from a mom who kills her own kids .

    histrionics never learn to give up center stage or their beloved mirrors“. it`s like a drug and they are hooked, unfortunately for the people around them

     it’s the combination of my mother’s ignorance and her insistence to not learn, that angers me. No matter how hard I tried, as a teenager and onward, having read books on mental health and such, to teach her something, anything at all…  she INSISTED to not learn, not a SINGLE THING. that reminds of my father , he insisted there is nothing wrong with him and his behavior . so he wouldn`t change anything about him but he was actually very talented and was discovering new ways to play mind games , so i guess he was learning something.

     I think that my mother had to make her internal, private chaos=> external and public. It was a relief to not be in chaos all by herself. i ve never thought of that , this way . i guess its true ,it`s not  fair for them to live such a chaotic unpleasant life and others to be calm , in their minds . i believe this is therapeutic for them to see people in agony .

    i was never a competitive person or particularly jealous one . i dont say i didnt feel jealous  or insecure but i guess it wasnt in my nature to compare my self to others and try to raise above them , it feels good but its not that appealing to me , sometimes i feel like im too relaxed but its the reason i get very angry and frustrated with this kind of people , the one who should be in center of attention and dont you notice they usually brag about materialistic and shallow things in life?at least in my experiences , but i can imagine the tension they must experience every minute of the day because they have to be relevant in any situation and i dont think they can do by being themselves and reminding their own business . they should get attention all the time because they feel so empty . its not an easy life to live . dont get me wrong , screw them but still something to think about .

    when i write the last paragraph i was thinking about my mom , my sister , the aunt and step mom to less extent my dad . i `m wondering why they are mostly females .

     No matter how hard I tried, as a teenager and onward, having read books on mental health and such, to teach her something… it broke my heart that you were trying to fix her , i imagine you didnt think of yourself of being worthy of trying to feel yourself better  rather than her back then , am i right  ? when my mom was sick i only thought of her feeling not caring about mine at all . and its too much for a teenage dealing with stuff we endured and try to fix it all by ourselves.

     Because adding sugar and salt is cheap, not illegal and profitable, these are added to numerous products. and that makes doctors rich too in long run , lol . its been for a while that im thinking about all the tricks the companies and shops use to make us buy more , its their business and they should have benefit , that i understand but its very infuriating that people with jobs related to maintaining , repairing ,  securities and health earn less money than others . they are considered as essential workers. in recent years suicide in medical residents become so often in Iran , just imagine someone who doesnt have a good night sleep at least 12 nights a month for a year and being under constant stress , because they are basically an student and they should answer to at least 4 people in a given night and maybe 30 overall , and they earn a salary as little as a simple worker who lift heavy objects with no education , that goestoo  to repairmen , it actually depends on their speciality but compare it to a hair colorist , he/she could earn double salaries of this essentiel workers in one day , isnt it messed up ?

    Maybe it is an economic opportunity for people there (it is very expensive here and it is my biggest chosen indulgence)i should search more and get to know about prices , i dont think its cheap here , i`ll let you know

    far

    #412647
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Farnaz: I am typing a reply to you, but the winds here are so strong, scary strong, and I am afraid I may lose power and internet, so just in case you don’t read from me for a while, that would be the reason.

    anita

    #412651
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Farnaz:

    Happy 15th page, and an lol back to you! .

    So, you are also interested in true crimes, me too. The reality is always stranger than fiction, isn’t it?“- I don’t read fiction, it’s boring to me because.. it’s fiction. There is some fiction in nonfiction books as well, but I trust it more to be relevant to real life. I think that my fascination with True Crime is that I could see my mother in the criminally insane. I lived in fear when I lived with her, with threats of violence (that she would kill herself, that she would kill me), so I relate.

    I prefer watching videos rather than reading“- I prefer to read because I process what I read way, way better than what I hear or watch (audios and videos). I no longer read books because I am content reading real-life/ nonfiction stories right here, on tiny buddha.

    I not sure  Ann rule was her daughter, or an author who wrote her story?” – she was an author, the most prolific  true crime author in the U.S. She started with writing about the infamous serial killer Ted Bundy with whom she worked as a volunteer in a suicide prevention phone hotline (before she became aware of his criminal activity).

    I remember her daughter who was adapted later in her life contacted Diane, did she write a book?“- no, not that I know of. This daughter was born after the shootings of her previous children, while in jail. This youngest daughter exchanged letters with her mother at one point, and later appeared on a talk show, saying that her mother is indeed a monster.

    That reminds of my father, he insisted there is nothing wrong with him and his behavior. So, he wouldn’t change anything about him, but he was actually very talented and was discovering new ways to play mind games, so I guess he was learning something“- he didn’t think there was anything wrong with playing mind games with other people so he … developed and improved on this practice.

     “I guess it’s true, it’s not  fair for them to live such a chaotic unpleasant life, and others to be calm, in their minds. I believe this is therapeutic for them to see people in agony“- misery likes company, the saying goes. It makes them feel less alone.

    I was never a competitive person or particularly jealous one… sometimes I feel like I’m too relaxed, but it’s the reason I get very angry and frustrated with this kind of people, the one who should be in center of attention and don’t you notice, they usually brag about materialistic and shallow things in life?“- they are shallow: they don’t care about/ value deep things like honesty, human decency, empathy, fairness, humility, win-win relationships with people, and so  forth, so they don’t compete in regard to these things. It’s all about ME and LOOK AT ME. There’s very little depth to that me.

    They should get attention all the time because they feel so empty. It’s not an easy life to live. Don’t get me wrong, screw them, but still, something to think about. When I write the last paragraph, I was thinking about my mom, my sister, the aunt and step mom, to less extent my dad. I’m wondering why they are mostly females“- I think that it has to do with the very traditional social role of women: that of not going out there into the world and initiating, making things happen (work, money, marriage, home), but instead, the women stay put and  try to get men’s attention (by physically appearing attractive, flirting, and whatnot), so that the men will give them what they need (marriage, home, money, children). Traditionally, women focus on getting attention instead of developing the depth needed to get into and advance themselves in the workplace, etc.

    It broke my heart that you were trying to fix her, I imagine you didn’t think of yourself as being worthy of trying to feel better.. am I right?“- thank you for your empathy. And yes, you are right, absolutely. I felt very worthless, very undeserving to feel good, not as long as she wasn’t feeling good about me. I needed her to stamp me with a figurative OK stamp before I felt deserving of feeling okay.

    When my mom was sick, I only thought of her feelings, not caring about mine at all“- same here, and my mother was mentally sick way before I had the misfortune of being born to her. Her sickness has been her misfortune and my own.

    It’s too much for a teenage dealing with stuff we endured, and try to fix it all by ourselves“- I wasn’t able to fix her although I tried hard and for very long. While trying to fix her, I got sicker and sicker.

    In recent years suicide in medical residents has become so often in Iran, just imagine someone who doesn’t have a good night sleep… under constant stress,.. and they earn a salary as little as… Isn’t it messed up?“- yes, it is. If I was you, I’d probably consider immigrating to the U.S., or elsewhere, where medical doctors get paid a lot.

    I should search more… I’ll let you know“- stevia is very concentrated, much sweeter than sugar, by the way, and I use a lot of it. My sweet tooth is huge. (No wind outside, at the moment, the trees are still).

    anita

    #412661
    farnaz
    Participant

    dear Anita

    good to hear from you ,

    here is cloudy as always

    i actually liked reading novels a lot when i was a teenage , in recent years i was interested in mystery and i started with agatha christie books and miniseries , until i ran out of them , so i searched for a new source for fulfilling my appetite for mystery and i found shows like dateline mystery , 48 hours and another channels . there are alot of them . i follow that chapter and bailey sarian every week , they are both witty and that makes the awful stories a little bit lighter . out of many shows i watched some of stories where so complicated and interesting such as the case of Shillah Davallouh , who was an Iranian immigrant in US and she was going to kill her second victim but she was caught , i think she had the potential to become a serial killer , i think you watch or read about her , she was a pretty infamous one . the another one was the case of bob mac clancy , these 2 were one of the most twisted crimes , of course the cases of casey anthony and jody arias were interesting too . i watched a lot of sitcoms  and snl (the old episodes) , i don`t want too heavy subjects in my mind.

    saying that her mother is indeed a monster. i watched that show , she said her mom was normal at first and was happy to hear from her but at the end she got too delusional and she cut the contact with her for good.

    misery likes company, the saying goes. It makes them feel less alone. so true .

     they are shallow: they don’t care about/ value deep things like honesty, human decency, empathy, fairness, humility, win-win relationships with people, and so  forth, so they don’t compete in regard to these things. It’s all about ME and LOOK AT ME. There’s very little depth to that me. i should admit i used to be very shallow too , im hopefully a lot deeper now . i was looking for meaning in things , i wrote in my first posts that i felt superior and that wasnt working for me , but i didnt know that . so i had to go through alot of s### to realize im no better than any one and i dont need to be , for me the turning point was , the moment i realized nothing would matter if i dont have anything to offer , and its not for bribing people to like me or the need to be needed but its the service your giving to others and what you can do to make their life better ,that matters , it gives you a sense of fulfillment and you can be happy and at ease with yourself when you go to bed at night. or you can have money and other THINGS which makes you feel rich but if you dont have anything to live for or you dont do anything meaningful , what’s the point ? obviously people are different  and im not saying a rich housewife is shallow and unkind they actually can have a fulfilled life by doing what the are interested they have the time and money to do it  . i personally havent met a truly hardworking and helpful person who is arrogant . i havent seen a shallow person to be happy either and they dont others to be happy , at best they are indifferent , at worst they are actively making others life miserable .

     I think that it has to do with the very traditional social role of women: that of not going out there into the world and initiating, making things happen (work, money, marriage, home), but instead, the women stay put and  try to get men’s attention(by physically appearing attractive, flirting, and whatnot), so that the men will give them what they need (marriage, home, money, children). Traditionally, women focus on getting attention instead of developing the depth needed to get into and advance themselves in the workplace, etc. soo true and i ve never think of them in this perspective , i dont think they can think of working at all , at least the aunt i talked about . nowadays most women are working outside but in this particular family  even the wives of her sons are housewives despite being educated  ,and  all of them and most of her nieces . thats very unusual . and they never talked about the carrier of other women to evaluating them , even though they are constantly evaluating others , because they dont have anything to do i guess .  they comment about the appearance and how they look (fatter or thinner *than before but never comment about carrier and the abilities .

    and thats why the other women are threats , because obviously they are going to reduce the chance to get a husband who would provide for them . i dont know what to say ? they don`t see any different way to live but that would be nice if they reminded their own business and not trying to change other people.

    . I needed her to stamp me with a figurative OK stamp before I felt deserving of feeling okay. i m glad you dont need it anymore and i know that`s very hard to achieve and feel so good after all ,to be FREE .

     Her sickness has been her misfortune and my own. i`m sure she enjoyed it too , i mean she had the perfect excuse

     While trying to fix her, I got sicker and sicker. thats the main problem.  for a young child trying to fix their parents feel so normal , but we arent equipped to do that ,not even in adulthood and these people wanted to drag us down even if they dont know it  , they dont want to get better in most of times.

     If I was you, I’d probably consider immigrating to the U.S., or elsewhere, where medical doctors get paid a lot. the very hard years are when you are studying for specialities , once you get your degree you are gonna have a very good life , but you are right US  is very good countries for physicians , a lot of people recommend it and i am always considering to go abroad , everyone is Iran is actually , let`s see .

    My sweet tooth is huge. mine too , i try to defeat it every day . screw it i dont need sugar to be happy , it doesnt have a power over me  , lol

    far

     

    #412673
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Farnaz:

    Here (it) is cloudy as always“- we live in similar weather: rainy and cloudy a lot of the time here. As far as reading, coming to think about it, long ago, I did read a novel or two. And I used to watch TV shows, 48 hours was one of them.

    The case of Shillah Davallouh, who was an Iranian immigrant in US and she was going to kill her second victim but she was caught, I think she had the potential to become a serial killer“- reading… born in Iran in 1969.. educated.. found guilty of murder in 2012 (age 44) and sentenced to 50 years. She would be 110 when she is released from prison, if she lives that long..  not likely, of course. My goodness… I recognize a few of the other names you mentioned.

    I should admit I used to be very shallow too, I’m hopefully a lot deeper now“- of course you are deeper now, as deep as can be, I say!

    I was looking for meaning in things… I realized nothing would mater if I don’t have anything to offer.. the service you’re giving to others, and what you can do to make their lives better, that matters” – you substituted a deep value for things.

    I personally haven’t met a truly hardworking and helpful person who is arrogant. I haven’t seen a shallow person to be happy either“- same here. But then, I don’t know if I know of.. happy people. Sometimes happy, yes, but not on a regular, ongoing basis. Throughout childhood, we all get a fair amount of happiness squeezed out of us, is my experience.

    They comment about the appearance and how they look (fatter or thinner“- this is what I grew up, maybe even more than you did, heavy duty criticisms of how people look. It is embarrassing to even remember it!

    That’s the main problem. For a young child, trying to fix their parents feel so normal. But we aren’t equipped to do that, not even in adulthood, and these people wanted to drag us down…“- reading what you wrote here just reminded me that a couple of years ago, or so, I realized that all my life I wanted to help my mother, to make her live better and feel better, I was willing to try hard, to do anything.. and all along, I didn’t realize that she repeatedly helped herself to me: she made herself feel better by abusing me. So, I helped her after all, by.. being there, doing nothing (other than passively receiving her abuse).

     “US  is a very good countries for physicians, a lot of people recommend it, and i am always considering to go abroad, everyone is Iran is actually, let’s see“- how exciting, the idea that you might…!

    I try to defeat it every day. Screw it, I don’t need sugar to be happy, it doesn’t have power over me, lol“- this is the Farnaz Attitude that I love!!!

    anita

     

    #412686
    farnaz
    Participant

    dear Anita

    i used to get very frustrated when i was studying abroad , because every one would think Iran is a dessert and there is no rain or snow and greenery but to be fair the most part of iran is desert and the north is the only region which is green all the time .

     She would be 110 when she is released from prison, if she lives that long..  not likely, of course. My goodness. hell no  . she was so creepy , she was her own lawyer , as most narcs choose to do it . as she was interrogating her own ex husband whom she attempted to kill , the questions she asked him and her attempt to discredit him was  so cringy and weird.

     of course you are deeper now, as deep as can be, I say! thank you,that`s so nice of you .

    you substituted a deep value for things. yes and also for people who weren`t worthy , to be honest people and their opinion in general .

     I don’t know if I know of.. happy people. Sometimes happy, yes, but not on a regular, ongoing basis. Throughout childhood, we all get a fair amount of happiness squeezed out of us, is my experience. of course happy people are not happy all the times , but they approach their problems differently which usually dont get them more miserable than necessary . you can face a problem with blaming everyone , god and your perceived misfortune in life or you can skip that part and instead of asking why that happened , looking for ways to control the damage and be your best friend . that all happens in the mind . in childhood we were blissfully naive , we didnt see the ugly side of the world or we couldn`t recognize it as wrong and ugly , so we were happier .

     this is what I grew up, maybe even more than you did, heavy duty criticisms of how people look. It is embarrassing to even remember it! and i`m 99% sure it comes from people who considered themselves as the most smart and sophisticated

     I helped her after all, by.. being there, doing nothing (other than passively receiving her abuse). im  sorry for the experience and for the time you wasted for fixing her , and im curious what was her reaction when you stopped contacting her ? i can imagine that can`t be good .

     how exciting, the idea that you might…awwww thank you.

    i should take a milion exams though .

     this is the Farnaz Attitude that I love!!! lol , that`s why i said that and i mean it

    have a good night sleep

    far

    #412709
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Farnaz: I didn’t have internet all day long and am currently connected through a connection downtown. I will reply further Wed morning (it is Tues, 5:15 pm here), assuming I will have internet.

    anita

    #412723
    farnaz
    Participant

    dear Anita

    thank you for your note , can`t wait to hear from you soon and take care

    far

    #412735
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Farnaz:

    As you can see, I have the internet back, yeah! “north is the only region which is green all the time“- I live in the north too, in a state that’s called the Evergreen state. You and I have rain and green in common, where we live.

     “hell no. She was so creepy, she was her own lawyer, as most narcs choose to do..“- are you familiar with the very infamous Charles Manson (now dead)? He wanted to be his own lawyer in the courtroom, back in 1970, but was denied. Four of his so called “Family” members are still in prison and have been in prison for over 53 years. Can you imagine being incarcerated for over half a century?

    Happy people … approach their problems differently, which usually don’t get them more miserable than necessary“- very good point. Some people “solve” their problems by making their problems bigger, and then even BIGGER.

    You can face a problem blaming everyone, god and your perceived misfortune in life, or you can skip that part and instead.. (look) for ways to control the damage, and be your best friend. That all happens in the mind“- instead of making the problems and the damage smaller, if possible, they make them BIGGER, starting in their mind and then, spreading the drama/ misery to others. My mother was an expert in doing that: big time drama, histrionics, lots of woe-me, my-life-is-so-miserable, etc., etc.

    In childhood, we were blissfully naive, we didn’t see the ugly side of the world or we couldn’t recognize it as wrong and ugly, so we were happier“- not in my case: my mother was right there at the start of my life, to tell me and show me how ugly the world is. I have no memory whatsoever of ever being blissfully naive.

    I’m curious what was her reaction when you stopped contacting her? I can imagine that can`t be good“- no, to my surprise, she did not protest or chase me for contact, not in any way, shape or form. It reminds me of the last time she ran toward me, wailing and intending to hit me. I was 20 or so. I held my arms out and took her hands in mine, exerting just enough power so that she couldn’t move any closer toward me. Her reaction: instant withdrawal. She did not fight back at all and never tried to hit me again.

    I used to think, as a child, that she couldn’t live without me, that I was the center of her life. I was very wrong. Truth is.. she was my Everything, and I was Nothing much to her. After all, she told me when angry, her words: “You are Nothing, a big Zero!“. Looking back at all of the situations that I remember, situations that included me, her and other people (and she was not at all angry): she treated the other people as Somebodies and me.. as a Nobody.

    You wrote in regard to working as a physician in the U.S. “I should take a million exams though“- I wonder if, for now, it’d significantly easier and faster for you to get certified to work in the U.S. as a Registered Nurse (RN) or better, as a Nurse Practitioner (NP)– they make so much money and there is a great shortage of nurses here.

    anita

    #412774
    farnaz
    Participant

    dear Anita

    so you live in Washington , i have an old classmate who lives in washington dc . i know it`s cold and i heard it snowed very heavily in some states of US, i hope you are ok in your evergreen state .

    very good point. Some people “solve” their problems by making their problems bigger, and then even BIGGER. i know some people who are expert doing this , maybe im been condescending . i guess that should somehow work for them , maybe they want to be busy with their problems and not thinking abut bigger stuff which are mind bugling for them , i know thats true for my brother as an example.

    for me i know im overthinker  and sensitive and as i said i tried not search for heavy stuff like politics and religion , ive rather to be exhausted with work or any physical work that try to dissect and find the meaning of things . thats why i guess i dont make my life harder .

     not in my case: my mother was right there at the start of my life, to tell me and show me how ugly the world is. I have no memory whatsoever of ever being blissfully naive. but she wasnt realistic , she was negative and miserable , that applied to my mom too , i believe they didnt trust themselves at all and they were right , they couldnt handle hard issues , like balancing between the difference of them and their children character and solve familial dispute with respect and love . they didnt have the emotional maturity and patience to manage it so  they would freak out , make a scene and blaming everyone and try to control the situation by aggression and character assassination .

    no, to my surprise, she did not protest or chase me for contact, not in any way, shape or form that is strange but my only guess is because you overpowered her , it wasnt joyful for her to intimidate you , you got stronger and she sensed it, these kind of people are very good in judging who they can manipulate and use for their own benefits  and im sure, she wasnt happy about it , its highly possible she found someone else to torture after a while .

    I used to think, as a child, that she couldn’t live without me, that I was the center of her life. I was very wrong. Truth is.. she was my Everything, and I was Nothing much to her. After all, she told me when angry, her words: “You are Nothing, a big Zero!“. Looking back at all of the situations that I remember, situations that included me, her and other people (and she was not at all angry): she treated the other people as Somebodies and me.. as a Nobody. im so sorry for that , thats so painful , but i think , she think of you as a continuum of herself and she saw herself as nothing so were nothing too. that i`m sure about .

    I wonder if, for now, it’d significantly easier and faster for you to get certified to work in the U.S. as a Registered Nurse (RN) or better, as a Nurse Practitioner (NP)– they make so much money and there is a great shortage of nurses here. interesting , in Iran there is  also a shortage for nurses .  i have some plans in my mind and i`m going to search about working as a registered nurse  or NP too , thank you for suggestion , and by the way what is the meaning of registered nurse , is there multiple ways to become a nurse except going to university ?

    far

    #412782
    farnaz
    Participant

    and about ted bundy , yes i heard about him , he killed over 32 women and seemed so normal , put together and went to law school , i believe but i didnt know he had family members in jail ?4? thats a lot . i guess being criminal runs in genes . but i think he didnt know his father , so maybe all of them were from his moms side maybe ?and being 53 years in jail ?i wonder if they know a life outside of it , i once watched a documentaries called inside the death row by trevor mcdonald , i recommend you to watch it . he interviewed alot of prisoners in death row and with time sentence, it was very interesting and shocking at times , like when a woman was smiling  when she said she got a man in to his eyes. her reaction was so chilling , just watch the whole interviews it is in YT and has 2 or 3 episodes  , highly recommended , i liked the interviewer too , he was so calm and respecting to all criminals but in the same time asking all hard  questions .

    far

    #412784
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Farnaz:

    It didn’t snow as heavily here (West Coast) as in the eastern coast of the U.S., but the ice was scary.

    In Iran there is  also a shortage for nurses. I have some plans in my mind and I’m going to search about working as a registered nurse or NP too, thank you for suggestion, and by the way what is the meaning of registered nurse, is there multiple ways to become a nurse except going to university?“- you are welcome. There are multiple nurse titles, requiring different levels of education and which pay different salaries. An NP is the highest level, considered to be almost like a physician. I don’t know much about it otherwise. You can easily research it online.

    Here is something interesting that I just came across, from visa place. com:(I know nothing about this website, but what follows rings true): “Are you currently working and have experience as a nurse and are interested in immigrating to the United States? Well, we have great news for you! The federal government projected that more than 200,000 new registered nurse positions will be created each year from 2016-2026. The United States is always looking for experienced healthcare workers, especially nurses as they are in high demand!”, etc.

    *The average salary stated in the website does not include- I think- the on-contract traveling nurses who make much, much more.

    I will respond to a few other things you brought up in your recent post later on, probably tomorrow morning!

    anita

Viewing 15 posts - 211 through 225 (of 246 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.