November 6, 2017 at 11:07 am #176745
Hi everyone.. I have a lot on my plate right now. I'm 26, in nursing school full time. It is stressful in and of itself, but I am also planning a wedding for October 2018. Luckily, I have a wedding planner who does a lot for me. My fiance and I also just got a great opportunity to buy a condo that my mom owns. We have to get approved for a loan first. I work part time at a hospital on 3rd shift- usually 2 nights a week. My income is not a lot right now so I'm worried about getting approved for the loan. Luckily my credit is good but my fiance's is not. We are trying to be super careful with our money in the meantime. We will be spending more money monthly if we buy a home. We are also lucky because our wedding is pretty much paid for by our parents, but money is still huge worry for me right now. My fiance wants to move in to the condo ASAP and wants me to start packing this week. I'm having a lot of anxiety about everything and am on the verge of tears frequently lately. I want to count my blessings, but my mind is always wandering to worry and fear. When I work 3rd shift I don't get a lot of sleep so the combination of lack of sleep and constantly thinking about everything I need to do- it's all just feeling extremely heavy right now. Any words of encouragement and support is appreciated. Thank you.
-RebeccaNovember 6, 2017 at 2:57 pm #176765
“Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.” John Lennon – I don’t intend to come off as trite however there is a great deal of truth to that.
It is understandable that you are feeling as you do as your taking on a lot in this moment and stage of life.
If possible when you start feeling this way take a breath and notice how your awareness has become fixated on fear. Try not to judge this fixation just notice. Imagine pulling back your awareness to outer perspective and from this space observe the fear. Notice that it’s the fixation and not the fear that has causing you the stress. In the past you have always dealt with the challenges that have come your way so there is no reason to believe that you won’t continue to do so. Notice that the fears you are imagining are just that imagined. With hindsight notice how most of your fears have been False Evidence Appearing Real (F.E.A.R). Take another breath, notice that life continues and flows despite our worries. Let these moments of stress flow and doing so choosing what your awareness is directed towards.November 7, 2017 at 4:49 am #176799
The title of your thread includes the word overwhelmed. When we are anxious we are often overwhelmed. If not anxious, life would have been much easier. That inner critic, or inner bully you referred to in an earlier thread, is a voice that generates a lot of anxiety along the way.
The better you manage and reduce your anxiety daily, the less overwhelmed you will be. It is best that you eliminate or minimize interactions with people who continue to criticize you (“my mom has always been critical of my weight and appearance. She was also critical of my grades in school and just my personality in general. She has something negative to say about everything I do”, a previous thread).
It is also important that you engage in activities that reduce anxiety, such as exercise, yoga, guided meditation perhaps.
You asked for encouragement and support: your life can get better and easier and I hope it will, but it will take awareness and better choices, not repeating what was not effective in the past and choosing to do what is effective.
anitaNovember 8, 2017 at 4:38 am #176981
The good news is that your mom owns the condo. I'm sure it's not going anywhere if she actively wants you guys to have it. Also, why is your fiancé putting all this pressure on you to start packing if you haven't even been approved for the loan yet?
I know you're worried about finances, but all I can say is: Moving company. They're professionals. They've seen it all and done it all before.
You have a wedding planner, which is great.
Honestly, just worry about your studies right now. Let the bank, wedding planner and the moving company take care of the rest.
InkyNovember 8, 2017 at 4:53 am #176983
I am in the same boat. Nursing school, night shift, family life. It is exhausting and overwhelming. I wish I had advice for you but in in the same place you are. Just know that you are not alone. That we will make it through with an RN behind our name. Someone once said that nursing school is like giving birth. When it's all over, you forget the pain. Hang in there beautiful! You've got this !November 8, 2017 at 11:32 am #177041
Thank you all for the kind words 🙂 I'm finding strength from your kindness.
To Inky: The moving company sounds like the way to go for me too but I am not sure we can afford it. I think my fiance is really stressed out right now too so he's probably panicking a little bit. I'm guessing he thinks if we don't start packing early that it will never get done. We are going to move into the condo whether we get approved or not because my mom will let us stay there and pay rent if we don't. A monthly mortgage will just be cheaper than what she's charging us for rent.
To Anita: Yes, you are right. You have a good memory! Being around my mom makes me a lot more stressed, anxious, and angry, and I am definitely trying to limit our face to face interactions, but as you can see she is very involved in my life right now. I do believe, however, that she has been through some personal growth within the last year, and I have seen some positive changes in her personality and actions.
To Peter: Thank you so much for your great advice. Mindfulness and awareness helps me so much.
To Erin: I'm so glad to hear that I am not alone. You understand not just the nursing school part, but the 3rd shift part too! I think lack of sleep is one of the biggest factors for my mood and anxiety. Once I get a good night's rest, everything is a lot easier. Good luck to you!November 8, 2017 at 11:46 am #177049
If you receive no rental discount on the condo, it being owned by your mother; if you receive no discount on the sale price of the condo, what is the reason you chose this particular condo; why increase your involvement with her by renting/ purchasing her condo?