Home→Forums→Tough Times→Confusing People!
- This topic has 30 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 10 hours, 5 minutes ago by anita.
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October 5, 2020 at 9:03 am #367572AnonymousGuest
Dear Irene:
You are welcome, and yes, you haven’t been here for a long time. Last you posted was Sept 7, 2019- that was before the global and still ongoing pandemic. Imagine, last we communicated, neither one of us were afraid of being surrounded by people, being in a crowd.. last we communicated was a world away, now gone. How are you???
anita
October 7, 2020 at 2:14 am #367625Irene74ParticipantHello Anita! I’m ok thank you, work is very stressful though. Maybe that’s why I came on here again! How are you? Hope you’re well. It’s a totally different world now, I hope we can get back to some normality soon.
Take care
Irene xx
October 7, 2020 at 11:45 am #367650AnonymousGuestDear Irene:
You are welcome and thank you for asking about me. For as long as I keep my mind on what I want from life- to learn, to communicate- I am fine.
It is interesting, you wrote today: “work is very stressful”. Sept 5 last year, a year and a month ago, you wrote: “I’m feeling stressed about work at the moment”. I wonder if you’ve been very stressed because of work ever since last year.
anita
October 9, 2020 at 3:50 am #367715Irene74ParticipantHello Anita,
I’m glad you’re feeling alright 🙂 This time of year has been stressful for us all for a few years as we work in support for a university for teaching. There’s always a rush to get things done for the new term and it always seems last minute. This year is worse as our management aren’t considering that we may be struggling too (what with the pandemic!) and our mental health doesn’t matter, just as long as we’re at work then that’s it!
Take care
Irene74
October 9, 2020 at 8:09 am #367718AnonymousGuestDear Irene:
Interesting, long time ago I graduated a 4-year program in a college/ university for teaching biology. Too bad management is not managing things better so that employees don’t have to rush and stress. If you want to update: are you still with your partner (five years now)? And your friend/ not friend of 15 years?
anita
October 12, 2020 at 2:15 am #367784Irene74ParticipantHello Anita,
I hope you had a good weekend 🙂 well it’s the management that’s causing us most of the stress, as if things aren’t bad enough! Our City has the highest infection rate in the UK so everyone’s worried anyway!
I’m still with my partner, it’s just over 5 years now 🙂 we’re happy, the only issue is that we work together and sometimes because we’re both stressed with work it can make things difficult but we know what’s important in the long run.
About the friend I spoke about, I did hear from her back in April I think, she was asking me about our mutual friend again. The short story is that she had a dental appointment and our mutual friend now works at her dentists! She said she didn’t know she worked there and felt awkward about seeing her, I didn’t really know what she expected from me but again had no interest in me, was just venting I think.
Recently, I was with my Mum and our friend in the town and we decided to get a drink at a bar. Whilst we we’re being shown to a table I noticed she was sat at a table talking to a girl, I looked at here but she ignored me, I’m pretty sure she did see me! I don’t know why I’m bothered really.
Take care
Irene74
October 12, 2020 at 9:24 am #367787AnonymousGuestDear Irene:
I am glad you and your partner are doing well. It is understandable that there is stress at the workplace because of the current winter-wave (a spike in cases everywhere in the northern hemisphere, from North America to Europe to Russia). It is very troubling to me as well, and I am so looking forward to a pandemic free world!
The woman you still refer to as a friend, reads more like an acquaintance. The title of your thread is “Confusing People”- maybe reclassifying her as an acquaintance will make things clearer.
anita
- This reply was modified 4 years ago by .
October 19, 2020 at 6:54 am #367944Irene74ParticipantHello Anita,
I hope you’re ok! Yes a pandemic free world would be lovely, hopefully soon we’ll turn a corner 🙂
I think you’re right, I thought that she was a good friend but I think I was wrong and I am just one of many to her perhaps. It does still upset me to think about it but maybe the reclassifying is a very good idea.
Take care
Irene 74
October 19, 2020 at 11:46 am #367954AnonymousGuestDear Irene 74:
I am fine, thank you. I would love to arrive, with you and with the rest of humanity, to a “pandemic free world”, and soon.
I hope that reclassifying her as an acquaintance will lessen the confusion and pain you experienced in regard to her. Take good care of yourself.
anita
April 19, 2021 at 7:21 am #378045Irene74ParticipantJust came back on for the first time in a while and she still bothers me, I wish I could put it behind me! I hope everyone is ok xx
April 19, 2021 at 1:21 pm #378089AnonymousGuestDear Irene74:
Welcome back to your thread six months to the day since you last posted. If you want to share about the last six months happenings involving the woman who is still bothering you, please do.
anita
July 1, 2021 at 9:33 am #382238AnonymousGuestHow are you, Irene74??
anita
May 26, 2022 at 7:44 am #401205Irene74ParticipantHello Anita,
Wow, how has it been so long since I last came on here!? Thank you for your message. How are you doing? I’m not bad thank you, the friend thing has taken a back seat at the moment though it still bothers me a bit. I’ve lost touch with another too now, I hope I still have some friends left! Work stress has taken over everything for a while, we have someone who is very bad for the team with his behaviour but no one to tell it seems. I hope you’re ok and doing well.
Take care
Irene74
May 26, 2022 at 9:06 am #401210AnonymousGuestDear Irene74:
I am fine, than you for asking. How exciting to read from you again, being that your last post was a year and a month ago! I want to refresh my memory, so here goes a short walk on memory lane:
In March 2015 (two months before I joined tiny buddha), you shared in your first thread that you were 40 (now 47), that two weeks earlier, you ended an 18 year-long relationship with a man because he took you for granted, did nothing around the house and took his stress out on you. You shared that you were “so scared speaking to him. It was horrible but he wasn’t angry at all and was very good about it… it took me a long time to build up the courage to speak to him!… Friends couldn’t believe I’d finally done it. One even said I never would and I would put up with it forever“.
You moved in with your parents after the separation: “I feel lost and like I don’t belong anywhere… I’ve no idea what I’m going to do next!… it’s so strange living here after 16 years away. I feel like I’m 24 again!”
In your second thread, on September 2019, you shared that you’ve been with your new partner for 4 years (the relationship must have started a few months after the ending of the last). You shared about a friend you had for five years, that while you were with your ex, she used to tell you things like: “I don’t know what your problem is and you’ll never leave him!“, but after you left the ex and got involved with your new partner, she said things like: “well you don’t need your friends now“, and she withdrew from you, and one day, “she gave me what I’m pretty sure was a dirty look!“. You found her behavior confusing, hence the title of your trhead- Confusing People.
In regard to work, you mentioned back in September 2019 and in October 2020 that you were stressed at work because at that time of the year, being that you work in support of a univerisity for teaching, there is “always a rush to get things done for the new term and it always seems last minute“. You shared that 2020 was “worse as our management aren’t considering that we may be struggling too (what with the pandemic!) and our mental health doesn’t matter, just as long as we’re at work then that’s it!”
In October 2020, you shared that you’ve been with your partner for just over 5 years, that the two of you work together, that you were happy but both were stressed at work. You were still bothered about the former friend’s withdrawal: “I don’t know why I’m bothered really“, you wrote in Oct 2010, “she still bothers me, I wish I could put her behind me!“, you wrote in April 2021, and “it still bothers me a bit“, May 26, 2022, but the issue of the friend has taken a back seat because “Work stress has taken over everything for a while, we have someone who is very bad for the team with his behaviour but no one to tell it seems“.
Again, good to read back from you! If you want to talk about any of the above items, please do… I wonder if improving your assertive skills can make your work experience less stressful?
anita
October 14, 2024 at 6:49 am #438730Irene74ParticipantHello!
Hope you’re alright! I realised I haven’t logged onto here for a very long time again :-O I’m still having stress at work, it just feels like I’ve always got something to be worried about! It’s a different situation but still the same old stress!
Anyway, take care
Irene 74
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