Dear William:

I am glad you successfully started a new thread. I read it. I have to get off the computer for about five hours in a few moments and will re-read your post when I am back. In the meantime, maybe you can share more about what in the relationship with your co worker has been so special? What about it has been “such an emotional connection” of a different kind you had your entire life beforehand?

anita

Here are some questions for you , answer only if you’d like to.

1. When you say you feel like you and your wife are like roommates, is it because you lost that spark that you had earlier with her or is it because she is acting different now?

2. You fallen for a co worker when your relationship with your wife is in turnmoil, is it coincidence ?

Hi William,

If the other woman didn’t exist, would you divorce your wife? Would you get a divorce whether there was someone else or not? Once you answer that, then you’ll know what to do.

The hanging out with her and not touching her? That follows The Letter of the Law, but not the Spirit of the Law, if you know what I mean. You are using each other as scaffolding, but you are not the each other’s structure.

Work it out with your wife. Or not! Maybe in ten or twenty years you and your friend can be together. Who knows? But concentrate on the Present right now.

Blessings,

Inky

Dear william:

You asked why can’t it just be as simple as you really are meant to be together.

My answer: because you are married and she is married and that complicates things. For you and her to be together both need to divorce your present spouses. If you and her get divorced so to be with each other, it would be a bummer if either one of you found out that the passion for the other is gone.

After all you had some passion with your current wife.. and then it was gone. Completely gone. Forever gone. Where did it go and how do you know your current passion will not be gone to… after the trouble of both of you getting divorced?

And throughout the affair, if you continued to be sexually intimate with your wife while she continued to be sexually intimate with her husband, that can complicate the hell out of life. If this has been the case, how could you stand the idea of her with him…? And how do you bring yourself to be with your wife…? These are personal questions, but if talking about passion, this may be helpful to examine…

anita

Dear william:

Double posting. No wonder you are confused, dazed and confused. The woman you are so very passionate about is in another relationship! My previous point. I mean, she is with another man and is trying to work it out with him.

Forget for a moment that she is married, think about it this way: you are passionate about a woman who lives and sleeps with another man. She chose the other man while trying to hold on to you (without any more touching between the two of you… if possible).

anita

Dear william:

I suppose you have two walking away to do: one to walk away from your wife and the other to walk away from her. That could prove to be a relief once you accomplish these two walk-aways.

As is now, you are “dazed and confused”- you are more likely to get into accidents this way, driving dazed and confused. It is not healthy or safe for you. So in effect, she is having a negative affect on you, and so, she is harmful to you. That is not loving of her, is it? To harm you… to cause you this confusion and distress as she is trying to make her marriage work. Quite selfish, isn’t it?

Maybe you should walk away… the moment you conceive in your mind that it is possible for you to do so, then you can. The moment you think you can, then you can. What is that children’s story: The Train that Could…

anita