I think there are a couple separate things going on here. First, you want more than he does out of a relationship. He has made that very clear. And he really has no incentive to do anything because right now he gets to be with you when he feels like it, and when he doesn’t he’s busy “figuring things out”. I’m not saying this to be cruel, but I strongly suspect that “figuring things out” includes dating other women. So, the real question is- is that what you are willing to put up with in this relationship, because he has no intention of changing.

Second- I think you need to look after you and not have him in your life if you truly can’t accept that he will never commit. That would mean cutting off contact with him completely because you will not be able to start healing if he is bouncing in and out when he wants to. Immerse yourself in your college life and enjoy. Meet friends, go to games and plays and concerts, meditate and spend some alone time to learn that you can exist and be OK even when you’re not in a relationship. And look at some of the blogs on this about relationships and also about changes and challenges. They give some great insightful ideas on things to help you keep balanced and work through the hurt.

Jeff has some very valid points. If you are honest with yourself, do you love him or the aspect of the relationship? You stated you are worried you won’t find someone makes you feel the way he does. It sounds as though he makes you feel a bit more insecure and frustrated, however he done’st make you feel lonely because he’s always “around”. What if… what if (ok really there are) there are other men out there who are willing to participate in a give and take relationship? Going through college and figuring out who you are is a gift, please take advantage of that and see you are worth investing in. You are worth investing in yourself, and you are worth having another man invest in you. You are… please say it with me ” I am worth it”.

Somethign else to consider is that how will this affect your other relationships? This sounds like your first serious relationship, whether you two find each other again down the road remains to be seen. If you hang on to this unstable relationship, it may change the way you view your other relationships. You may take on the belief that this is okay and being strung along and kept in the dark is alright. When you meet someone who is willing to give you what you need in a relationship, you can either learn from this experience or if can leave you insecure and doubtful. Don’t let this set the stage for your future endeavors.