July 22, 2014 at 9:30 pm #61548PryingMiMiParticipant
My friends convinced me to give online dating a shot this summer. My life lacks excitement and has tooo much monotony… I jumped in w both feet. Me being picky, I ignored riff-raff. One guy who messaged me REALLY caught my eye. He was educated, soooo attractive, seemingly funny and resourceful! (My type)
We chatted about EVERYTHING for a month. The only issue was he had this once a day response limit going. I didnt complain, just wished he’d apeak to me more frequently. Anywho, I eventually got fed up w his once a day shenanigans and completely deleted POF, besides most of the others were creeps. I ended up using OkCupid. I was relieved. I had gone some great dates so far, and forgot all about the guy. Well, he ends up visiting me on OkCupid and messaging me. First off, why the heck did he even message on this site after barely replying before and how the heck did he find me?? Creepy much! Anyway, he ended up giving me his # number. We had a disagreement and realized we wouldnt mesh. So I hit the site again… Guess who five star rates me and views me…? This guy Alex again!
Why would he even view me if hes not interested anymore?? AGAIN… How the heck did he find me? Why does he do that?? Is he even into me or is this sone type of silly game? Should i message him? Like, I dont understand. Can a guy NOT WOMAN explain this guy Alex’s motives… PLEASE!July 23, 2014 at 10:24 am #61591KellyParticipant
Being a woman, I guess you don’t want my opinion so I’ll keep it to myself, but why do you care?July 23, 2014 at 11:05 am #61592The RuminantParticipant
In addition, Alex is the only guy who can explain his own motives. Just ask him what he wants. Sometimes it really is that simple.July 23, 2014 at 3:09 pm #61610carmenorParticipant
Can I ask how old is he ? Maybe he is not mature enough.July 23, 2014 at 6:22 pm #61636Big blueParticipant
Being a guy but with no online dating experience, and one to be passive aggressive a couple times, I’d say you have good advice above about opening up better communication.
A good rule in all relationships is to have a dialog vs. retreating. I’ve done this very well at times and yet other times I really did not.
You might see this as an opportunity to find out about yourself more than him.
July 23, 2014 at 8:05 pm #61652PryingMiMiParticipant
- This reply was modified 8 years ago by Big blue.
I apologize to Kelly for the comment about only wanting a mans opinion! To answer the question, hes 25 and Im 21.
I just messaged him but he said absolutely NOTHING! I said ‘I dont understand you. You said things wouldnt work out but viewed and liked my profile. That was 6 hours ago. He’s said nothing to me. At this point I feel like Im wasting my time on a fool. Feedback anyone?July 24, 2014 at 2:51 am #61662The RuminantParticipant
Impatience is quite normal when young and enthusiastic, but it can work against you, as you try to force things to be what they aren’t. Being patient, taking things appropriately slow and respecting yourself will reveal other people’s motives with time. If you are too anxious to get attention and excitement, you might end up getting it from the wrong kind of source. Seeking validation from others is one of the traps for young women.
Being too hung up on excitement can also make it more difficult to notice whether you actually feel good in someone’s company or if it is slowly eating away your confidence. What you want and how you feel is much more important in your life than what Alex wants.July 24, 2014 at 3:32 pm #61692carmenorParticipant
Hi, I have been in very similar situation as you are. I am 20 and he was 26. His name was Alex as well. We met online and continued talking for nearly 6 months. Everything was going well (or so I thought), but one day he started to act differently and it stayed that way. It was like you described, he used to message me but it seemed like he didn’t want to talk at all and talking was just weird. It was making me very confused.
So, from my experience the best you can do is to move on and try to forget him. If you keep coming back to him, you will probably end up hurt. I know it may seem cruel, but if he wanted something more than entertainment he wouldn’t act that way. For me, this kind of treatment shows lack of respect which is the fundament for every sort of relationship, even just for friendship.
July 24, 2014 at 11:15 pm #61710KristopherParticipant
- This reply was modified 8 years ago by carmenor.
Sounds like a head case. That’s the thing with online dating, I’ve tried it and have friends that have to, it’s a crap shoot. You’d have better odds picking the next six super bowl winners. Being a guy and if it was me, I’d say he has someone, might even be married which would explain the one respond a day. He could be using you as a fall back for when he and his current lady are having issues. I’ve done it back in my younger days. I had a couple girls that I kept around for when my serious girl would separate and I needed a pick me up. It’s wrong but that’s what it sounds like.