Done with online dating. Tired of non-stop rejection

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This topic has 36 replies, 12 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 10 months ago by Anonymous.

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December 30, 2014 at 1:18 pm #70037

Anonymous
Inactive

I definitely have to try something other than online dating. The case against it just keeps growing. Yesterday,during the day, a woman emails my account and says I have a nice profile. By the time I got home from and decided to to say thanks to her,she had hidden her profile. I don’t get it. People get weird with online dating.

December 31, 2014 at 6:57 pm #70071

Anonymous
Inactive

Is there anyone else who is spending New Years Eve at home like myself? I stopped with trying to date anyone for now. I know the time isn’t right for me, but after 4 straight New Years without someone, it is starting to get old. I’m with the boys, and I only had to work until noon today so that was good. Maybe it is because I didn’t get enough sleep late night but I feel blue. You get to the point where you want to get emotional but I don’t want to give in to the negative thoughts that I have been feeling too much lately.

Tomorrow, I am going to start writing out some of the long and short term goals I want to achieve this coming year. I know it’s the cheesy thing to do this time of year, but I need to start focusing on pulling my life together more, so that I will feel ready for a relationship. It would be nice to spend new years with someone special this coming year. I can’t even remember what that is like anymore. The boys are here, and I’m creating memories with them, but I’m not creating any memories with anyone else.

I wish I spent more time with some other people when I was still married. I don’t regret being there for my kids but I gave so much to my family that I didn’t leave much for myself. My ex has a huge social life and I sit at home. Yeah, I feel like breaking down right down. I don’t want another year like this. I used to feel like I could do anything and everything could turn around, no matter how tough things became. I need to be back at that place in my mind again.

January 1, 2015 at 3:15 pm #70102

mesara
Participant

At the end what everyone seeks is love… even though girls or guys just wanna have fun, and when they are young they just wanna get laid with hundreds of different girls – in respect to guys…

well… about your topic: yes, online dating, and those online applications and even social networks – fb – are used by girls just to boost their ego and make them feel like someone worthy.. you see girls with 300 likes on fb pics and they think they are princesses, celebrities, and stuff. This is just my opinion, i don’t want to offend any girls here.

You should never tell a woman directly: “I came clean after a while and just simply said that I was attracted to her.” even though she gave you her phone number and “It seemed like she was attracted to me.” why?? because you kill the attraction.. be physical, not verbal… demonstrate that attraction by doing physical moves… you know what i mean… if you tell a girl your intentions, or that you are seeking love etc,, they freak out… girls just wanna have fun, thats the first step.. you can’t jump directly into rapport and saying that you are looking for that missing part of your heart… make her laugh, chill… and they will eventually fall in love with you if you follow everything correctly… but the more ‘needy’ of love you come the worst the outcome will be. And remember, girls are looking for a male, they are the emotional ones, so if you come up very emotional at the beginning and stuff that is a major turn off.

And about the woman who gave you her number, and whom you said to that you were attracted to her… its common that she was attracted to you and for that reason she gave you her number… but that is just the beginning… its just a green light of many…just because she was attracted to you, it doesn’t mean she will go out on a date with you, it takes more than that.. and you know, girls, put on trial every single guy, and you happened to respond with “I came clean after a while and just simply said that I was attracted to her.””… that was a major turn off, she was looking for someone different, someone original, funny… hope this helps

January 2, 2015 at 10:13 am #70119

Katie
Participant

Hey again Steve!

Yep, I spent New Years alone as well. Went to bed at 9 lol. Actually I went to my mom’s house, so I wasn’t completely alone but still…almost felt more lame than actually being alone. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. But then I thought for a minute about how awesome it is that I have a mom that I like spending time with and that likes spending time with me…also thought about the fact that even though no one had asked me to do anything, I’m fairly certain if I would’ve reached out to someone I would’ve been able to find something to do.

I’m happy to hear you are going to lay out some goals for yourself and the future!! I think that’s great to have stuff to focus on that is about you and not some potential partner. I’ve been feeling a little blue about singledom at the moment as well. Mostly just having anxiety that I will never meet anyone I connect with in the way I want. And it sucks to think that online dating may not be as great a fall back plan as I had originally hoped. But who knows what will happen when the time is right!!

I’ve been feeling the need for adventure lately. Like to quit my job, pack up some things and just truck it across the country. Maybe a little crazy. Maybe me hoping I can leave my problems behind. Not gonna happen though, I know.

January 2, 2015 at 12:25 pm #70124

Anonymous
Inactive

Hey decime,

So you are not supposed to tell someone that you are attracted to them. Why not and how is that needy? When it’s a self centered and vain woman,like the one I said it to, it might not be a good idea. That said, I think there are alot of decent and down to earth women who would appreciate it.

Another thing, I’m not sure what you were getting at but I don’t get emotional with women I’m dating. I’ve had a crappy few years,and this year has had some big ups and downs,so I was feeling a little sorry for myself.

January 2, 2015 at 8:21 pm #70131

Anonymous
Inactive

Hey Katie,

I’ve done the ‘hang out with the parents on new years’ thing too. After a couple of years, it gets old. No offense to my parents because I couldn’t have more caring parent, but I just want to spend that time with someone my age. I think back to when I was a kid and they were my age now. They never were sitting around at home on new years. Heck, they were getting a babysitter or my oldest brother to watch us younger kids, and they went out a lot more on the weekends than I ever do now.
I am grateful for having my sons with me on new years. I guess I would like to have a little more grown up new years, in the near future.

It’s funny. Two women seemed interested in me again over the holidays. First, one around xmas, and then new years eve another one wanted to get to know me. The thing is, after exchanging a few pleasant messages before and forth, they suddenly stop, and that’s the end of it. I don’t get it. I’m polite. I’m not needy sounding and I try to just get to know them a little better. There is some interest there for women with me. Nothing seems to build anymore. Honestly, I don’t really care anymore. I started writing out what I want to try to achieve in the coming days and months. The relationship should start to look better if I am in a better place.

Katie, I hope you are doing ok. I guess we both have to believe that better days are ahead and that someone will be very lucky to find someone like us when they do.

P.S. If you are planning a road trip, then stop by here so that we can hang out hahaha

January 5, 2015 at 8:03 pm #70622

Anonymous
Inactive

Well, this is my last post in the relationship section for a while. My dating site subscription ran out and I’m just going to focus on improving other areas of my life that need more attention. The funny thing is there was two different women that were showing interest in me. It died out quickly though, so I didn’t have to get too excited about any of it.

I going to try to get out more and meet people in a more relaxed environment and just see what happens. Meeting women would be especially nice, but I just want to meet more people in general. Maybe I’ll be posting in other areas of this forum. Hopefully, people will respond there too. I noticed that the amount of posts and responds in the relationships sections are huge. I guess everyone wants to be with someone and to share love. I hope I get back there someday. Thanks to all the people that tried to help me with advice on relationship matters. I wish for everyone to have a good year this year.

July 25, 2019 at 11:15 am #304873

Joseph
Participant

I must be honest, like Anonymus I’m encountering the same issue and it is completely disheartening. I’m a single dad who actually has custody of my 12 year-old son. I cook, clean, laundry and all the other domestic stuff that required to run a good house, I even promote that my ex-wife and son build a positive relationship. So imagine my dismay when I go on the website and reach out to someone close to my age and I get “that they do not want to date me because of being a full-time dad (let me say I was floored).

I went to the dating website(s) because I realized that I had a tendency to date women who require “help” and wonder why almost every woman I dated seriously has stepped out on me. So I have carefully written my profile to articulate exactly who I am; I even pour over just what I’m going to write to my prospective next rejection only to get crickets.

I must admit that I did meet someone for coffee and she was vision, buuuuut has only dated one guy (the father of her son) and has been single for the last 11 years ( I guess that should have been a clear indicator. We hit it off, we had almost everything in common (it was almost scary) she was jovial, had flower sin her hair, we laughed and joked. I walked her to her car, open the door for her, event tucked her frilly dress inside the car (Because she almost shut it in the door), I closed her door, stepped away and smiles as she drove off waving by…I kid you not the very next day (much later ) I get it not you, it’s me line before she ghosts me…

It’s hard to not feel a bit rejected by the constant “Left Swipe” you know I used to be a very optimistic person, but the constant rejection has been slowly chipping away at my resolve. I’m starting to wonder if giving up just might be a great idea.
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