FaceBook Drama

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This topic has 23 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 5 months ago by @Jasmine-3.

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July 14, 2014 at 6:40 am #60827

Inky
Participant

Hi Guys!

For the short background, read my first post in “Boundaries”.

So now my Old Friend has Blocked me from FB. I should feel relieved, as this is the equivalent of hanging up on someone in the old days ~ so this is the end of our FB Friendship/”friendship”. So why do I feel like this is a harbinger of an impending storm??

On FB I post about once a month with a usually family related update. No political/religious rants. No self promotion. Nothing sanctimonious or spammy. Clearly this has to do with the history of grievances. A cry for attention. Jealousy. And/or An immature emotional clicking outburst.

But I feel dread, like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. When people say or show “It’s Over”, oh, it is usually soooo not over!!

Feeling anxious,

Thank You!!

July 14, 2014 at 9:13 am #60835

Matt
Participant

Inky,

Is this the same friend that did date your husband? Or is that two women that have yelled “I’m not after your husband”?

You don’t seem that big on forgiveness, turning the other cheek. More like “turn your back”, shut out, shut down. Authentic forgiveness, such as seeing people spin, act foolishly, and empathizing how difficult life and balance is for us all removes the dread that accompanies prideful judgment. The dread arises from cold heartedness, battle mode, casting aside the people that dare transgress against us, seeing them as lower, lesser. Said differently, perhaps when the FB block happened, it smacked Inky in such a way her mind grabbed it, now cycles around it, producing all sorts of illusions, thoughts, feelings. Deep forgiveness, whoa-ho, freedom!

With warmth,
Matt

July 14, 2014 at 11:34 am #60858

Inky
Participant

She never dated my DH but she is that one yelling. I never viewed it in terms of forgiveness/non forgiveness. When I am about to interact w/ her it’s more of an “Oh shit” feeling.

July 14, 2014 at 12:26 pm #60863

Matt
Participant

Inky,

Ah, must be mixing stories. Yes, the role of forgiveness is often overlooked… consider that when we rest comfortably in a forgiveness for other people unskillful qualities, there’s no blip. Why stress over a butterfly flapping, the wind blowing. There’s simply no threat, no reason to grab her actions at all.

There may be some latent “overcaring about what people think”, such as what if she says this or that, claims this or that in public. To that I say trust your numinous light, for the love you are known to share will make her ploys obvious, laughable, to anyone that matters. The old saying “those that matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter.” Loving beings will see the difference, and those that don’t, well what does that matter? They have bigger problems. No need to bring out the sword, stab a sister in the heart… yep, she’s a fool like the rest of us. 🙂

With warmth,
Matt

July 14, 2014 at 4:18 pm #60877

Inky
Participant

Matt,

Thank You! 🙂

July 14, 2014 at 4:47 pm #60878
Big blue
Participant
Hi Inky,

I’m with the Department of Redundancy Department, and I am obligated to inform you that, ahem, “Facebook drama” is redundant. It also says the same thing twice…. 🙂

Yes, the blocking move is her best setup move, in boxing the obvious is typically a jab.

Matt is making a good point. I struggle with myself and a few people. Forgiveness is a deceptively easy way to reframe the situation. That is, if you consider that the woman is doing the best thst she can, any foibles on her part are just human noise to you. A miscommunication or misalignment of different people, which is bound to happen. Now, if she is *inflicting* this noise on you, you have every right to say it’s not working for you. If you are speaking different languages so she does nit get this, then smiling and waving are – I’m pretty sure – international symbols for friendliness and departure.

Big blue
- This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Big blue.
July 14, 2014 at 11:28 pm #60933

@Jasmine-3
Participant

Hi guys – thanks.

Hey Inky, I have not had a chance to read other replies. I am sorry that such a thing has happened to you. Hey, I can start a new FB account and add you as a friend if you wish 🙂

Don’t worry about those who do not have a good enough reason to appreciate you or your friendship. Let go and let in new friendships.

Hugs

J

July 15, 2014 at 4:56 am #60938

Inky
Participant

I know, it’s so silly. I’m anxious about a “crazy” woman who virtually dumped me first. You know what it is? She is in the midst of moving and shaking up her life and I honestly want heads up on where she physically moves. I felt a shift in the force, checked, realized I’d been blocked, and felt, “Uh-oh.”

Paranoid Version: That she waves to me from the house up for sale across my easement
A Probable Version: That I get an email full of grievances
Epic Version: That we have a face-to-face confrontation with hurt feelings, public scenes, embarrassed friends
Past History Version: That next year she contacts me like Everything’s Fine

But yeah, I feel twice as better today! Hopefully this will fade quickly into ancient history in my psyche.

July 15, 2014 at 5:20 am #60939

@Jasmine-3
Participant

Ha ha Inky

Real version: none of the above. You have just been blessed and saved from a crazy friend without doing anything. No more negativity from this source ever and you didnt have to do anything ha ha ha. Win win situation it appears in my kinda world.

@amatt : hey Matt, what does this line mean : “You don’t seem that big on forgiveness, turning the other cheek”. Does everything boil down to forgiveness in Buddhism ? Just curious.

July 15, 2014 at 5:34 am #60940

Inky
Participant

We did do some Feng Shui on the outside of the house a couple months ago, hmmm. 😉

July 15, 2014 at 6:27 am #60943

@Jasmine-3
Participant

LOL you are too funny. I have so much to learn from you – feng shui skills, intuitive skills etc. I was researching on net to see how many people can sense energy behind words and how to develop this skill but nothing substantial came up. Can you send the skill for me in the next post, pretty please ?

July 15, 2014 at 7:25 am #60947

Inky
Participant

OK, as an intuitive (and we all are!) your First Instinct is usually Correct. I know Buddhism and self-defense teachers say sometimes your instincts are wrong. However! 9/10 they are spot on correct!!

It’s not how someone makes you feel in the moment. But how do you feel Right After the last interaction?

Pay attention to the hair rising on the back of your neck, suddenly Not Wanting to Do Something, even dreams.

Body language ~ not looking in the eyes means trying to get out of something. Looking in the eyes too much can be lying. Crossed arms are the person wants to end the conversation. Suddenly being your new Best Friend is they want/need something.

If you’re having trouble with this and nothing bad happens to you, that is good news, you don’t need these skills as the people around you are flowing with your energy naturally!

If you feel people are being dishonest or taking advantage, practice Observation rather than interaction. And don’t be so quick to give away your time, energy or money!

July 15, 2014 at 7:26 am #60948

Inky
Participant

Oh and I use Tarot cards when stymied. They are really a snapshot of the current situation rather than the future. Eventually you won’t need the cards at all, you’ll just Know.

July 15, 2014 at 7:36 am #60950

@Jasmine-3
Participant

WOWOW. So energy reading is like body language reading, eh ?

Observation is it !!! Will put into practice from tomo itself.

Thanks heaps INKY

J

July 15, 2014 at 7:51 am #60951

Matt
Participant

Jasmine,

That line means to me, “component of freedom being overlooked”. I don’t think everything in buddhism boils down to forgiveness, although if you did interpret it that way, chances are you’d still have a free flying life. Forgiveness helps us step aside from afflictive views, eroding their solid knot like appearance in our life’s momentum. Said differently, we’re walking through a garden and accidentally kicking stones (grasping, holding painful/pleasureable phenomena)… forgiveness for the stones, our feet, our distracted minds, the garden for having stones… let’s us turn our attention to the bruise, pulling away from the many arising thoughts and feelings that cling to the kicking, which gives the stone the appearance of the intention of hurting our foot. Buddha taught that its empty of affliction on its side. Forgiveness helps us become at peace with the garden, and so forth. Its just a stone after all… busy being a stone.

As far as developing a view of energy, in my opinion, that’s something most of us have when we’re not too busy with our own stories. Compassion is co-resonance, or co-suffering… the space in the mind to patiently allow a seed sprout in the heart. We help make that space (attune to it) by growing loving feelings, friendliness… the mind opens, and in the open blue sky, plenty of information arises alongside words. Said differently, after spending enough time in the kitchen, its not that tough to taste, understand, and relate to the components of another’s meal. Consider “Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism” by Chogyam Trungpa, if interested in learning to chew mindfully. Then its as direct as “oh, you want apples? Here’s one, and by the way, you can plant apple seeds… the mind is fertile, growing.”

With warmth,
Matt
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