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Fear

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Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • March 11, 2014 at 1:24 pm #52643
    melon80
    Participant

    How does a person know when to trust a fear and act on it.
    I have a huge decision to make in the next few days and I don’t want to act out of fear but i can’t tell what is my ego and what is my inner voice.
    It is literally a life or death decision and i’ve completely lost my balance.
    I would be so grateful to anyone who has any advice on how to interpret and deal with fear.

    March 11, 2014 at 5:06 pm #52649
    Kline
    Participant

    Recently I read something about making decisions – to first try to look at the decision “indifferently” as if you really, truly didn’t care about the outcome. I can’t imagine what decision would be life or death, so it hard to me to give advice.
    Also, if your fear is coming from your intuition, the answer is always always always to walk away. Your intuition is always right.

    March 11, 2014 at 7:19 pm #52675
    belove
    Participant

    Dear melon80,
    Meditate on it, take walks, make sure you get some good sleep and eat healthy, write down your thoughts, … All of these will give you better clarity.
    I recently run across Bryon Katie on youtube. She has this system called The work. Look it up if you can. I’ve applied it to one of the hard situation in my life and it helped. You need to basically be very honest with yourself and ask these questions: “Is it true?” “Can I absolutely know that it’s true?”… For example, write down what the fear is, then do the inquiry. It’s a life or death situation, is it true? Is there any way you can turn it around and say “It’s NOT a life or death decision”, that however the situation turns out, that life will go on as it should, … Also, sharing it in more details may help you see it more clearly also. Hugs.

    March 12, 2014 at 3:59 am #52687
    melon80
    Participant

    Thank you so much for your reply. I think the noise in my head is the battle between my ego and intuition. My ego conforms to what everyone expects of me, and is telling me i always run away from things. My intuition is telling me i/we (my partner) are notready for the place we find ourselves. i’ve been here before, i guess its true a situation will repeat itself until you learn from it. Looking at it indifferently i would say this is a small drop in a huge ocean and the tides will change and bring us here when we’re ready sometime in the future.

    March 12, 2014 at 1:57 pm #52701
    melon80
    Participant

    Hi Belove

    We have found ourselves expecting a baby, this was something we led to believe would take time as I have fertility issues and we were booked in for lots of tests etc etc. While i’ve been resting my body from all the medicines they were giving me it has happened on its own. I was naeive to think that it would take a couple of years and we would have realised some of our dreams and be comfortable and settled. We both want to have children but we both want the circumstances to be right and at the moment they just aren’t! Financially, domestically, between us as a couple in that we havn’t had much time to enjoy each other. We don’t have much in the way of memories to fall back on when times are tough, which they will be at times if we have the baby and I don’t have any family support. Whilst I know there is never a right time there are some major factors that help couples to manage a baby and I believe these contribute to the overall success of parenting. My partner and I both had difficult childhoods and are very aware of the damage unhappy/unfulfilled parents and financial hardship can do and I would rather not put another human being through that. So we have a difficult choice to make, do we decide to wait until we are more settled . . . or do we take a gamble and see where we end up? It doesn’t help that we are both looking to the other to find the answers and neither of us want to deny the other of something we both want at some point.

    I hope no one will be offended by my post, I know this topic is highly personal, that is why I wasn’t explicit at first.

    Mx

    March 12, 2014 at 7:43 pm #52726
    Kline
    Participant

    Thank you for sharing. Life always wants to live. My certain wisdom is that your baby wants to live. I would seek counsel from a spiritual adviser who you really trust and a pregnancy center. You are right – there is no perfect time to have a baby. It will be an adventure of love. God and peace be with you.

    March 12, 2014 at 7:57 pm #52728
    Kline
    Participant

    Ah – your intuition is telling you to not have the baby. (I just saw this reply after reading the last one). I still think it would be best for all involved to consider the third party in this decision – that is, the baby. Good luck and I will hold you in the light.

    March 13, 2014 at 5:03 am #52739
    STAN
    Participant

    Try to ask yourself whats the very worst that could happen under each situation and weigh up which outcome you would be least upset by. Look after the downside and the upside will look after itself 🙂 Namaste

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