Feeling like the other woman now

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    And here I’m again! Nothing has changed and I’m still allowing him to take my power away by not standing up for myself.
    I very often wonder how can I not love myself to continue in this path. He pretty much has me doing what he likes and the worst thing is that I know that it is wrong and that I deserve better but I can’t say no. He is still with the woman he left me for but still comes around telling me tha he loves me and wants to spend time with me.
    I really need so help.



    May I ask what you’re afraid of, if you were to stick up for yourself? Are you afraid of him being mad at you, that possibly he’d remove himself from your life?

    Don’t take this too harshly, but truly he would be doing you the favor. You’re allowed to be mad at him for treating you the way he does. If you love someone, you don’t want to control them, you want them to blossom and grow into the best person they can be.

    If someone wants to spend time with you, they will.


    That is exactly what I’m afraid of, him not talking to me ever or just thinking about not ever seeing him again gets me anxious.
    I know for sure that I wouldn’t want to get back get him if he ever asked, but at the same time I can’t just let him go.
    I just feel that maybe if he is around, i might be able to understand or him telling me the reason he did all those things to me. But I know that I’m just hurting myself.
    The only thing he has told me is that he needed to leave our marriage in order to become the man he was supposed to be “faithful” and that he wasn’t able to do that with me. Yet he is not being faithful to this other woman because he wants to be around me and act like we are still a couple.
    He tells me that he is not happy with her but that she is good to him and he can’t walk away from her. That he will never be as happy as he was with me with anybody else. When he tells me all these things I get more confused and just don’t want to remove myself from his life. I don’t know what is wrong with me that I put myself in this situation.


    Does not having him in your life make you anxious because you don’t think you could live without him? Or because you don’t know what you’d do without him? Don’t hold your breath, Courageous. Even if he had some sort of “reasoning” as to why he did the things he did, it wouldn’t make you feel any better – and it probably wouldn’t be the truth. He’d somehow turn it on you. He cheated on you, with this lady. Now is cheating, emotionally, on her with you. Do you see the cycle here? He’s a manipulator and a serial cheater. Guys like that thrive off of a womans attention; especially more then one at a time. He’s got his cake, and he loves the idea of having you there- even with all the pain you caused and continues to cause you. In his eyes, you forgive him for everything he’s done – and he could continue to do it because you have him around.

    I’ve been in this vicious circle, with an ex. He cheated on me for 6 years. I had no self esteem, he was my ‘reason for living’ as I thought it. I thought I’d die not having him in my life. Finally, I got fed up with the way he treated me and the constant cheating, that I had enough. I got to a point where I loved myself more then I loved him. Which should have always been the case. We should always know our worth, and know that we deserve more then to be second best, to be manipulated, to be taken advantage because we are good, and kind people. I broke up with him, it was a rough while.. I turned to alcohol and partying. I finally turned to yoga and meditation, I started to love myself again and forgive him. FORGIVE but not forget, he is a constant reminder of what I’ve gone through, and how I am the person I am today – strong, independent, loving, kind and able to be myself without judgement..

    I promise the worst thing in the world wouldn’t be not having him in your life, you’d survive. And I pray that you learn this sooner then later, so you can go on with the rest of your life and be able to enjoy it! I promise it’ll get better and when you realize that you’re worth more then any of this, it’ll be easier to close that chapter of your life, with no regrets and an open heart.

    Annie P


    First, let me say how deeply sorry I am. I completely feel your pain. I have been there one too many times. What you need is a distraction – on line dating for yourself. You dont even have to go on any actual dates – you can just get familiar with learning how to interact with other men. It will help – I promise:) DO IT.


    @Sarah It is not that I feel that I can’t live without him but it ismore like I get anxiuos about being by myself. For some reason I wonder if I’m ever going to find somebody else or what if I end up alone. That’s more of what gets to me. Yes, I miss him dearly and love him but I wouldn’t want to get back together with him because I wasn’t truly happy and I always felt that I deserved better. Yet, I believed in marriage being a lifetime commitment and I stuck it out through all that he put me through. He was very nice to me all the time and treated me nice but he just did things that were not appropriate and I always found a way to justify his actions. I wanted to make our marriage workout beyond belief. I tried everything and I did everything I could but it didn’t happen.
    Sometimes I think that the reason I can’t get past this is because the way he did things. I would have been ok if he left because he didn’t love me any more and wanted to find the right one but the fact that he was looking forsome else while we were together and left when he found her makes me feel so unworthy and rejected. And you are right, he manipulated me all this time and made me feel so insecure because every time I felt that he was talking to somebody else he turn it on me and said that I was crazy and that I didn’t know what I was talking about.
    I don’t hate him but I can’t stand her because she knew tha he was married and yet she didn’t care. But afterall she doesn’t owe me anything as she didn’t know me, it is my ex who is accountable to me.

    I know everybody tells me that it gets better with time but it is almost 7 months and I’m still hurting like it just happened yesterday. How can this be that I’m such a mess and he has happily moved on without a care in the world.

    thank you for the advice. I have thought about dating just to distract me but I feel that this will not help me in the long run. I know that this would be a lot easier if I started talking to somebody but I’m so emotionally empty that I don’t have anything to offer to anybody right now. Plus i would only be doing it to get over this situation. I know that I have to find myself first and then probably consider dating. But i do see your point, it would be so much easier to do this.


    I am so sorry for you. I am going through a horrendous breakup and have found reading to be helpful. Gaining some insight to WHY your husband can be so selfish, uncaring and destructive might be helpful to kickstart your healing process. Hopefully these books will guide you to take better care of yourself, love yourself. It’s not easy when someone has depleted you, diminished your self esteem and robbed you of your power. I know what’s it like to feel stuck, powerless, depressed. It’s like an addiction and you feel you NEED to be with these people emotionally and physically. Take one small step at a time and when you fall, don’t hate yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat a best friend. You seem like a very kind and sweet person who deserves true love.

    Psychopath Free, Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships… , Peace
    Men Who Can’t Love, Steven Carter
    Help, I’m in Love with a Narcissist, Steven Carter
    (Someone advised me to read up on love addiction as well.)


    can u explain further bcuz courages story is also my ques iand i still looking for ans


    its all a lie my bf did this to me for 15 yrs, i madly loved him so hoped him to change, he came back again when he was married i decided to call it a quits blocked him but days ago i felt restless again and i discovered he had a baby last weak. so what they all say and do is a lie, he told me i was a fool for not marrying him bcuz he is the perfect husband but at the same time was ready for an affair. i know this man is a lie but still i m looking for a way to detach myself but i have failed. u can read my story in emotiaonal mastery section bondage.

    angelica renee

    After been in relationship with a guy for 3 years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don’t believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called Dr, Isah and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay by God grace, This really gave me hope when I find out he was a christian, And I want told that my king will come back before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My king called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: (drisahspiritualtemple@yahoo.com) or you can call him on +2348077144233, you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR.

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