September 3, 2016 at 8:47 pm #114160
To be honest, I’ve always been very envious of artists… I don’t really feel bad about not taking a course that goes directly to that path, though (because it is possible to go to that path in other ways). It’s not really about that. I’m simply envious of those who are good at something, even if it’s just a hobby. It’s like they get to really express themselves. Sometimes, it can be as simple as knowing how to dress or knowing how to talk about things you like.
It’s not a matter of skill. I tried to learn the piano before, although I didn’t have real classes. I just taught myself a few songs from tutorials on Youtube. I got bored after a while, though. It’s not that I don’t enjoy it. It’s just that I’m still a bit isolated simply doing things in that manner. It might have been better if I did take it seriously when I was younger, and exposed myself more, taking classes and all. But during that time, I still had a lot of social anxiety, so I just wanted to stay at home and do it myself.
Now that I’m actually ready to go out, I don’t have as much time, and my parents are finally retired and we’re trying to save money as best as I can. If I wanted to take classes now, I’d have to save up for it on my own.
I can possibly also do string instruments, like I know chords and strumming on the ukulele. I didn’t learn the guitar, but if I can use the ukulele a bit, I can probably use the guitar as well.
And quite random, but I played bongos and djembes (tribal drums).
All of these I’ve mentioned are all “Yeah, I can play them. A little bit.”
Even drawing is “a little bit” for me. I haven’t tried painting. Drawing progressed naturally since I was a kid. My doodles improved until I was 14/15 and then it plateaued. I can’t draw anything more than slightly anime-styled people in very limited amount of poses. Maybe I can draw backgrounds a little bit, but nothing special.
What I’m saying here is that I learned these things and have the potential, but for some reason, didn’t have the drive to see them through. I think the thing that is taking my energy the most is my loneliness. If Maslow’s pyramid is correct, “confidence and competence” doesn’t come until after I’ve acquired a stable “relationship” base.
And so by healing, I really mean, just trying to “cure” myself of social anxiety.
However I’ve been told.
That I shouldn’t see it that way.
That I shouldn’t see it as if I’m trying to “fix” myself.
Well, I don’t know how else to see it. It’s still a practical thing to do. Trying to overcome it and all.September 3, 2016 at 9:52 pm #114170
(I’m not sure what happened to the post I was just typing… I wrote something quite long and then it did not post. Oh well, I guess I’d have to write it again. But that would be just a chance for me to make it more concise.)
I was reflecting on your point about feeling isolated when you know a lot about something and people around you know less about that thing.
I can see what you mean, but I realized another angle to it. It could be that whenever I feel like people just won’t get me, or I have any judgment on their limited worldview, then that could mean I also have a limited worldview in that sense. I am simply projecting it onto them. I am angry that I can’t relate with them and so I assume that my mind is too deep for my own good and people don’t understand me. I can blame them all I want, but then it wouldn’t get anywhere.
Instead, I would have to see the lack on my side, not in a way that handicaps me (such as giving me a label like “social anxiety” or “being on a different wavelength”) but in a way where I try to see what gap of knowledge I may have in comparison to them (seeing it this way is more fixable than simply resigning myself to different wavelengths). I might have said in my other posts that my mom bores me because she seems to have a lack of opinion, that she doesn’t think in a philosophical or analytical way, like I do. But my own lack is about the news, current events, and a few political issues. Or knowing about the family. I may say right now that I am bored with them, but I noticed a pattern. I get bored about things I am not good at. I think most people do. And I also noticed, once I get past a certain threshold of knowledge about a topic, I get more and more interested, way beyond what I first expected.
It’s like with watching a series. I may have a certain bias about it before watching, whenever I “feel like I won’t like it as much.” but then I get surprised when I watch more and more of it and start to understand where it’s coming from. I think “there must be some reason these people like it!” and I get curious about that. Curiosity in this case becomes the fuel for my enjoyment on things that I normally wouldn’t enjoy on my own. From a simple curiosity, it turns into like, and then once I get deeper into the series, I become so invested that I may get mildly obsessed.
Familiarity breeds fondness.
Well, I know there’s an opposite adage that says familiarity breeds contempt, but it seems as if all adages have their opposite counterpart. I saw a list of it in one of my textbooks.
In conclusion, I guess having more knowledge may have some isolating aspects, but I think it connects in other ways. Maybe it isolates when all I ever pursue in my knowledge are about those “tried and tested favorites” that I have. I deepen my understanding about something so much that I yearn for someone out there to match my level…
But then it’s connecting in that film used to be my weakness. Not too long ago, I’d hear people talk about their favorite movies and series and feel so bad about not knowing anything. They are not even film addicts, they’re just regular people and enjoy it casually. Now that I’ve become so interested in it, that aspect became much easier for me. It didn’t matter as much if the other person was not as obsessed as I was. There was always something they know that I don’t know… Being obsessed merely even helps that process, because I become less discriminating about things and want to see more and more
I wonder if this might be a little dangerous for my mental health. “Obsession” led me to write several posts at once and now I am embarrassed -_-September 4, 2016 at 1:54 pm #114229
Regarding your mental health and “obsession,” I don’t think that I’m qualified to assess that possibility with any real validity. Although I could be wrong, you seem to me to be a person who has quite a few interests and passions, but no one (or at least very few) people with whom you can talk about these things. From that perspective, it does not seem unreasonable that you would be inclined to write a lot when you meet someone who has similar interests. However, please understand that I may not be able to respond to everything you’ve written as fully as I would normally like. You’ve talked about a lot of things.
I encourage you to explore your passion for creativity and Art. However, as you probably already know, Art is fundamentally a dialogue, and so many things inform the artist’s perspective, including other genres and forms of Art. My poetry, for example, is extremely influenced by what training I’ve had in the visual arts. That’s not to say that I try to write picturesquely or “painterly,” but I do quite often find myself thinking in terms of positive and negative space, continuous-line contours, or blind contours, or gestures, or, (conversely) color without line, etc. I also think in terms of symbolism (common to all of the arts), but where visual art is concerned, particularly in terms of the symbolism used in the vanitas.
There are many other ways in which all of my more formal creative endeavors (e.g. the various forms of visual art, poetry, music composition, writing, etc.) are influenced by all the other arts, but the point I am getting to is that I encourage you not to limit your education of the arts (formal or informal) to only one area. I also encourage you not to intentionally limit your study of a particular form of art just because you do not see yourself ultimately having a career in that particular form.
Given your appreciation for the visual arts, you appreciation for cinematography is certainly logical. I know that a film’s cinematography can make or break a film for me.
I can appreciate the idea of allowing doors to open as they may, and taking advantage of opportunities as they may present themselves, but I also encourage you to actively pursue your interests, too. If you’ll pardon me relying on an old adage, consider that “Fortune favors the prepared mind.”
I, too, am about to pursue studies in Psychology, Sociology, Anthropology, and a few other disciplines. If you’re interested in knowing more, I’ll tell you about it via e-mail.
Like you, I also have several creative endeavors outside my job and fields of study. Also like you, I have very many interests, including language. Although having so many interests does seem to be a drawback at times—like I could ever devote all of the time I would like to all of them, and become as proficient in them as I would like—I wouldn’t have it any other way. I can’t begin to tell you how much I love having so much in my life.
Although I would love to travel, like you, I am more interested in connecting with and understanding the culture, which means I would need to live in a place for several years to fully have that opportunity. Right now, I have obligations that keep me where I am, so moving to another country has to stay on hold.
Regarding 2001: A Space Odyssey, that is probably one of the first masterpieces of cinema I ever saw. I could talk about if for hours. It is also one of the movies that sparked my interest in classical music. I am so glad that Kubrick did not use the score that was written for the movie by Alex North, but chose to use performances of existing music instead. I am particularly thankful that he included György Ligeti’s music. The movie’s screenplay was actually written (by Clarke and Kubrick) before Clarke’s novel was completed. If you read the novel, it is a bit clearer what is going on. As I said, I could talk for hours about this, but I have limited time, and there is still a lot to reply to from your post. I’m sure you’ll have no problem finding a plethora of analyses on the film. It sparked a lot of questions in viewers’ minds, and subsequently a lot of analysis.
Like you, I too I can do a “little bit” of a lot of things. I don’t worry that I haven’t pursued one exclusively, though. That’s just not the way I am inclined.
I’m sorry you’re lonely. Regarding my comment about isolation, it wasn’t my intent to imply that anyone was “lesser than” me, or that their interests had any less value. I think of the disparity in interests in terms of being “different from” mine, without any qualitative assessment. I also don’t see it in terms of either myself or the other person being lacking or as needing to be fixed. We’re just different, that’s all. One of the strategies I’ve found (and I’m sure many folks use this) is to make many acquaintances with whom you can share your interests. Only very rarely will you find someone who shares many of your interests, but if you can find several people who share at least one of your interests, collectively you can talk about most, if not all, of the things you like and feel less isolated and perhaps less lonely.
CMISeptember 6, 2016 at 6:43 am #114372
Oh, please do email me about your learning socio, anthro, and psych 🙂
And I also didn’t imply that you implied other people were lesser because they had limited worldviews/experiences/interests :)) But since we were talking about eclecticness, that usually does mean that we know a lot more about a particular field than those people. Sometimes it feels lonely because I have favorite, obscure musicians or bands for example, and most people do not know them. However, since I am very attracted to obscure things like that, I realized how much I simply loved to learn. I like those obscure things because they were new to me (not because I was trying to be a hipster. A hipster wouldn’t feel sad that other people don’t know about what they know, because they’re the exact opposite. haha) and they make me feel things that are so interesting and stimulating to me! And it’s also true that I get that feeling when I learn something new. So instead of being sad that they don’t know or like what my favorite is, I try to learn about theirs, if there is any that I am not as familiar with. It actually happens more easily than I expect, that I end up seeing their perspective about the things they like. My mom for example does not think philosophically but that does not mean we can’t connect on a deeper level. I’d work to fill in those gaps rather than try to change her. I noticed her thinking is more practical, which is honestly my weakness as well. I should try to align myself so that I can be compatible with basically all wavelengths! Why am I not interested with practical matters? Well, that’s because I did not expose myself enough. From experience, I am surprised to find that it’s actually easier to adapt to others than the other way around (after all, if I am the one who perceives a lack or a yearning, and not the other person, then I am the only one who can fix it). Hmm, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t have to settle or give up right away. That I’m actually more interested in more things than I am aware at this moment. I just need to “awaken” some of them, and thus get surprised that I’ve come to be obsessed about certain things! (Actually it does seem quite common, funny and ironic that those who become obsessed about something were those who used to be from an opposite camp!) I’m pretty sure we can connect deeper than I initially assumed. I just have to make some effort.
In doing all this, I become even MORE eclectic. That I can connect to almost everyone because I’m interested in almost anything.
That’s my ultimate goal, anyways… 🙂
Haha, anyway I’ll go back to talking about film categories soon. One by one, I’ll mention some of them later.September 6, 2016 at 5:37 pm #114428
I’ve read all and I’m looking forward to watch a movie tonight but as a newbee here I wouldn’t have a clue where to start
Just looking for something positive. I feel very down atm and depressed
Hope a good movie can help
Thanks for allSeptember 6, 2016 at 9:29 pm #114442
I would suggest ” October Sky” or “The Great Debators”.
NinaSeptember 7, 2016 at 8:27 am #114473
My tastes are very eclectic, too. There is so much to see, learn about, and enjoy in the world.
Yes, it would be very nice to be able to find a connection with almost everyone.
CMISeptember 7, 2016 at 8:30 am #114474
Sorry I missed your post last night.
For some reason I am having a hard time coming up with a film that I would exclusively describe as “positive.” I did a bit of digging on the web and found a site that may give you some good leads. The name of the site is agoodmovietowatch.com You can select movies by “mood.”
I hope you find something you like.
CMIOctober 27, 2016 at 2:33 pm #119056
I love any movie that shows human nature evolving.
Patch Adams- just for everything about it, and the wonderful doctor who insisted on treating people first and the illness second.
Forrest Gump- well he kept being called stupid but still went on to have an amazing life.November 30, 2016 at 2:55 am #121562
I don’t have any kind of it.December 25, 2016 at 1:44 pm #123579
A new inspirational documentary called “Ty’s List” was just released today online for free!
Synopsis: Three strangers go on a journey to honor their life-loving friend, who died at 23, by exploring a list of his favorite things to do in his hometown of San Francisco. Part tribute, part documentary, part call-to-action, “Ty’s List” reminds us that, while we cannot choose how we will die, we can choose how we will live.
You can watch it here: http://www.tyslist-themovie.com