Being a Nice Guy who treats people with kindness and generosity often leads to, many times, nowhere when it comes to women.
Why? …Well, for the woman who’s running solely on instincts, they crave excitement, danger, mystery, yadda, yadda, yadda.
I’m not here to explain how to get them, or how you can succeed with them.
I’d rather talk to you about something way more important. Your life.

You give a lot, and hope someone returns the favor…and over time, you start to get annoyed, resenting people, and the once giant heart you once gave so freely gets covered in gnarly scar tissue.
You look around, and you see people who are complete jerks with hot women that they don’t deserve, whom you could treat better.
You’ve tried this book, or that tutorial on how to pick up women, etc. You exhaust yourself on trying to fix the problem of being alone. When you find someone who’s worth keeping, you start to worry about how to keep them happy so that they don’t leave.
Speaking from a vast amount of experience, I’m here to tell you, you’re doing it all wrong.

At the heart of the matter, you’re looking to fill this void in your life, hopefully with love…or someone to love, rather.
Is that so much to ask? -well, who are you asking? God…the universe…a room full of confused co-workers?

This thing that you desire is a time-consuming endeavour, and what has it gained you for the millions of hours you’ve put into it?
It’s easy for people to give you advice who give you cop-out answers like, “The right one will come along”, “The right one will find you when you’re not looking”, “maybe you’re trying too hard”, etc, etc. You hear them all of the time…and it never helps.
What is terrible is they are right…but they never give you any alternatives or any other perspectives to help you see it in a new light.

Desire is the cause of suffering. The attempts you make in acquiring the object of your desire might result in failure, and then you create more suffering unto yourself. You get resentful, anxious, afraid you’ll be alone forever. …but is being alone such a terrible thing?

Think of it. Many people get married at least twice these days. By the time you’re 28, most of the women are either getting divorced or getting out of graduate school. Would you rather be the “test husband”?
-Or- Would you rather have enjoyed living life?

While attempting to fill this void, you may not have noticed, but outside of your window is an entire world to experience.
Be single, and be proud. But don’t give up living a full life in exchange for pleasing someone else. They should love you for who you are. But…wouldn’t be great if you could add some more things to your life-resume or things to scratch off of your bucket list in the mean time?

Step 1. Do things which get you excited.
An example for me is I love being creative. Lately it’s been costume making, or Cosplay. I enjoy the creative process, and it takes up my time. Then when I’m done, I get to present it.
Before that, it was playing guitar and writing music in a band. It was exciting, time consuming, and fun.
You could build a boat, make a list of places you want to travel to and go there, go hiking and take nature photographs, learn to dance, learn to paint, find an acting troupe and try out…or maybe get cast in a play, rebuild a car engine from the ground-up, read a good novel and find a book club, read to better yourself/career or just to expand your knowledge, go kayaking, surfing, shopping, design a mobile app, create a game, find a few people who like to play board games and have a game night, get involved in investing, take a few risks, travel abroad, take a single’s cruise, sculpt your body, become a master chef, write a play, get involved in politics, volunteer, find a protest, go see a band that you love in concert, be a roadie for a band, etc, etc.

Step 2. Do the things that you need to do in order to take care of your body, your bills, your family, etc.
Step 3. Take a few minutes to be mindful of the simple things in life. Meditate if that helps. But keep in mind that you are alive and you are healthy. You were 5 minutes ago, and you will be 5 minutes from now…so enjoy the present moment and take it in.
Step 4. Repeat. Pursue your interests in life to the fullest. Find people with similar interests, and do them together. Turn your focus away from the negativity of being alone in to the positivity (and the possibilities) of what you can do on your own.
It’s merely a matter of perspective and changing the focus of your desires in life.

Eventually someone will enter your life, and change it for a while or forever. But why spend so much time and effort in waiting, when you could be doing so much more.
For us Nice Guys, love comes and goes, so when someone DOES finally come along, don’t give up this new found perspective and this new take on life to go back the old ways. If they love you, they’ll love your hobbies too and make time for them.
You’ve spent a lot of time making others happy, it’s time to go out there and take life by the horns and make yourself happy.
Live the life that you want to live. Have the adventures that you want to have. Don’t squander that time in waiting…it’s time you could be out there being awesome.
Be awesome my friends.