August 14, 2016 at 3:32 pm #112334
Self-image and Self-confidence seems like a big issue amongst teens and also sometimes progresses into adulthood. We are often subject to peer pressure in the world and people expect us to be tough, athletic, intelligent and everything else. Sometimes we wonder who we really are underneath the surface that we put on for the world to see. I think that the trouble of most people is finding their personal identity and where they fit in. Sometimes in this patriarchal world, I often find myself questioning where I stand. Who am I really? i know that i want to be a medical scientist. Ben Carson said in his book Thinking Big “People can take away your clothes, money, and all material things, but they can’t take away your knowledge. With knowledge you can work out ways to earn it all back.” i agree with this quote, but we all have doubts about ourselves and sometimes the critics will jeer at us and say we are being “geeks.” As a teen, I am often met with some people who criticize me b/c most teens think it is easier to be athletic than be a smart person. Yet, only 1 in 700 sports players make it to the playoffs and most of its luck. I am also health conscious and enjoy working out. When I meet people who look down on me b/c I work at a restaurant, i often feel a bit bitter. we shouldn’t look down on people based on their material goods, but based on their character. Often times when a guy says something sexist to me about me doing gymnastics such as saying “i’m showing off my body”, it makes me feel hurt. sometimes i question the power of my gender. sometimes i wonder if it would be easier being a male. my ap world history teacher who is also a psychology teacher says teens experience gender identity issues and usually start finding themselves at 24. it can be hard for a teen b/c they are still figuring out their impact in this world and they are often swayed by negative peer pressure. sometimes out in public, i shy away from people afraid they will judge me. i often hide myself with casual clothes b/c i don’t want attention. sometimes i wrestle with the doubts in my head “Am I really powerful as a female? Can I truly make it out in this world?” i often bury myself in my academic subjects often afraid to even approach the subject of physical relationships. i think teens and adults both often times have trouble figuring out how to navigate who they are under the way society judges them to be. as a teen, i feel i am pulled in several directions, should i be an athlete or should i pursue my passion as a scientist? I like tinybuddha b/c it gives me room to discuss my feelings of insecurity of gender and personal identity and it also has helped me lots.August 14, 2016 at 3:54 pm #112335
Also i find that i don’t like my parent’s limited views on the world as they seem prejudiced towards some religions and also some people and i am more open-minded. i find that i am the polar opposite of my family, mostly my mom and i don’t even want to look like her which is one of the reasons i sometimes question my gender identity and the thing is i don’t look like her b/c i’m more toned from working out. my family is quite mechanical minded while i have a creative spiritual side and love nature. i embrace people with different religions and ethnicities while my parents critique them. my mom has yin energy, while i’m more yang. i enjoy playing sports and casual clothes while she enjoys buying clothes, shopping, typical feminine things. i also enjoy letting out my anger in creative ways such as dancing or writing, while they often let their anger control them. i am easy to talk to and don’t judge others regardless of whoever they are while my parents will be a bit judgmental.August 14, 2016 at 4:09 pm #112338VinceParticipant
I think what you have said is very interesting and not unusual at all for a young person trying to find their place in the world.
You are asking yourself a lot of questions and you don’t have the answers. But no one ever really does. The key is to identify what is important to you and follow what you are passionate about. Don’t worry so much about what you think is expected of you and what you think you should be.August 14, 2016 at 4:45 pm #112340
Thanks, vince;)August 14, 2016 at 5:20 pm #112342InkyParticipant
You’ll find when you enter college age that people become “cooler” about the very things you are talking about. And it’s OK to be athletic and wear casual clothes as a girl. We are not masculine, by the way. Athleticism and dressing casual is feminine BECAUSE we are females and are doing it!! Does that make sense? In the old days we would be called Tom Boys and that would be the end of it.
InkyAugust 14, 2016 at 9:57 pm #112373XenopusTexParticipant
There is nothing that says you cannot be a powerful person as a woman. There are women political leaders, scientists, CEO’s, etc. And, like men, some of them are great at what they do and others aren’t.
You probably wouldn’t find it easier as a “man” because you aren’t one.
For example: I went to law school with a woman who was about 4’10” and weighed about 75 pounds if you put a diving belt on her. Smart woman, did well in school, and the last I knew of her, she had a good job in the legal field. Would she have become more powerful trying to be a 4’10” 75 pound man?
Embrace what you are. People make comments about things all the time. People can be crude. It is not a problem with who you are, it is a problem with them.January 12, 2023 at 1:25 pm #413672
wow seven years have passed since the last post on this thread🥺
In that span of time I’ve taken time to reassess my goals and myself. I love watching Dara Hoffman-Fox’s videos on “Asking a Gender Therapist. ” In my college years starting 2019 I started finding myself and letting go of trying to fit into the box of stereotypes. I joined the Transcendence group at Stockton and met some gender non-conforming people. I realized that I feel comfortable as a guy and spent time with a gender therapist over the years which has helped me build my self-love. I loved having Transcendence group people friends where I could be myself.