Getting your own way

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  • #112777

    I just wanted to read about people’s responses to the following questions and I hope it will lead to an interesting discussion.

    When was the last time you so badly wanted something and you finally got it?

    Was it everything that you had hoped for? Were you disappointed? Or did you not have any expectations about acquiring that specific thing/desire/outcome?

    Or was it not meant to be, in which case were you extremely disappointed or again, you had no expectations?

    What happened in the lead-up to finally getting what you want? Did you expect to get what you wished for to the point where other options or alternatives just weren’t for you?

    How soon after acquiring that which you wanted, did you find yourself wishing or wanting for something else?

    Thanks 🙂


    Rohail Bukhari

    Several years ago, I had a dream that I was pursuing for years. More specifically it was a goal. I felt like this goal had to be accomplished in order for me to accomplish a bigger goal, which was more mainstream. Long story short, I did not make it happen. But now I discovered that it was one of the BEST things that ever happened to me because I was lead to my true desire. The vision that i held was just a symbol but it did not accurately portray what I truly wanted. It gave me a feeling of peace and positivity and intelligence and acceptance and fulfillment, but the vision itself apparently was not the true way I needed to go in order to feel those emotions. We want what we want because of the way it makes us feel, and the way it actually happens is usually better than you expect. And when it happens you wont force yourself to like it because it will be representative of your heart’s true desires. Your heart knows what you truly want, we just have to feed that thing and give life to it and do our best to have trust in it. Sometimes it’s exactly the way we visualized it, and sometimes it’s BETTER than the way we visualized it. 🙂


    Hi Joe,

    I did get THE THING (well, it was for my kid, but still close to my heart).

    In my mind I had a fantasy of getting The News while I was waiting in line at the bagel shop. My friend is in the fantasy, and also one of the mini-antagonists (related to another wish ~ but one that had failed) that was in my life. I get the news and I let out a whoop like you’d do in a sports game. I am so glowing they can’t help but ask my friend. She tells them and I am redeemed through my kid somehow because of his good news.

    In real life I didn’t actually think he’d get it.

    What actually happened was that we were watching TV and he came in the door. He says quietly and in wonder, “I got in.” Frankly we were in shock. Instead of the victory whoop tears swelled up in my eyes. I called my parents while DH and son were out smoking cigars.

    Then afterwards I got weirdly superstitious, like it wasn’t real and would be snatched away from him at any moment. Also a bit paranoid like I somehow hacked The Matrix or something.

    Now I’m focusing on the last kid and say a prayer every day to keep the other kid where he is supposed to be.

    Fascinating Question!


    • This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by Inky.
    Nina Sakura

    Yeah, the list is long and mixed but here are the major instances so far:

    – At 17, my aim was to emerge as the best student in school and kind of answer back to these group of guys who were mean to me and prided themselves on their academic performance. I worked hard and I did. No one expected that from me.

    The unexpected: In my determination to outdo them, i ended up at national level without realizing. Ended up going to a dream, elite college. More unexpected: Had my short-lived pride crushed within a few weeks and months when i realized i was in a sea of sharks there. Struggled with anxiety and depression, self-esteem dropped. Lived away from home for the first time and my first serious relationship ended after 5 years. Overall, emerged sadder but somewhat stronger with not much clarity on what i wanted to do with life.

    – At 22, ended up grad school which was the exact one i wanted. Turned out it was a place that i hated and my classmates were nasty, horrible human beings mostly. Also broke-up with another serious boyfriend due to some reasons..However, the unexpected blessings despite the bad: Pushed out of my shell and made new friends, learned to live alone, enjoyed some really good times and met the guy i am dating seriously right now.

    – Now: I know what i want to do with the future and the person i want to end up with. It has come at a price though in terms of time, depression and dip in performance on some occasions. I have made lot of mistakes in the past. The only difference is I am ready to move on if things don’t go as planned and i am confident i will find an alternative. Life does throw unexpected curve-balls and some we create in our minds through over-thinking.

    Bottom line: I wont give up without a fight to the finish though or lose my spirits so easily. Disappointments and failures will happen in life as we keep growing but we have to keep doing our best despite it.

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