Forum Replies Created
May 12, 2018 at 1:42 pm #207033
thank you guys for the feedback.
and i just told my mother that im trying to succeed in an online business. i believe i can do it and i have realistic expectations.
i would like to make $1,000 in the next 6 months. but this is just a beginning goal for me. its not what i intend to keep making forever. i would like to increase it. i think i can do it, since i have no job and i am not going to school and im just working at my family shop and im getting paid a little bit there. i believe i have all the time i need.
but my mother says that she wont support me until i get the result. and she immediately started to automatically become cynical and judged me, and because i was trying to protect myself from letting her negativity get to me, i tried to change the subject by interrupting her while she was nagging me. i knew this would happen. i know my mom well enough to know that she has no control over her emotions. but the reason why i told her is to just let her know that this is what im trying to do and this is what i want to do, so that she doesnt sit there and wonder what im trying to do with my life. so it would be nice if she can support me. but if she wont….this is what i have trouble with.
how can i not let the pressure of my mom get to me while im trying to succeed in an online business. i have spent 3 years studying online business while also working on myself, and i have a pretty thorough idea about what it actually takes. should i just disregard any cynical ideas my mom says and understand that i am not responsible for her happiness? because she just wants me to succeed quickly so that she doesnt feel insignificant about her son not succeeding. she compares me to my cousins who are married, have children, and have a corporate job. and she will only love me until these things happen. the idea of an online business is foreign to her because she has been taught to think that the only way to make money is through a job.
she doesnt understand that everybody’s life experiences are different. and that you are never too late to succeed. there are so many people who succeeded at a later age but my mom thinks that by 23 im supposed to be married, have kids, and have a house, and a wife that will be her servant and help her around the house
how can i protect myself and keep persisting regardless of what she says. any thoughts? i appreciate itJuly 14, 2017 at 1:53 pm #158160
I think you made a very smart move removing social media from your life. I made a similar decision about a year ago and it has made me so much happier. I truly feel like everybody on social media is not being there true self simply because that is how the creators of social media want you to act. they want you to use it in a specific way. its so easy to create a persona of being an amazing person with an amazing life on social media because you want people to think a certain way about you. and what’s funny is that the more we use it, the more anxious we feel. it’s a drug.October 13, 2016 at 1:38 am #117991October 11, 2016 at 3:06 pm #117814
All of these things that you are thinking about and experiencing regarding depression, are actually things that are branches of certain beliefs you have about yourself. you may feel numb because you have gotten used to it. when you hold on to negative emotions for so long, and depending upon what beliefs those negative emotions represent, you may become more and more unfeeling of yourself and you may be looking around and finding something to make you feel something. Depression is definitely curable, it just takes proper understanding.
If you are taking medication for almost a year now, I’m not sure if I would call it “mild” depression. you are feeling guilty because you feel like you are bothering other people y feeling down around them. I used to feel that way too. I used to think that there was something wrong with me, because i would feel down around other people and no one gave me the time of day and so I thought I was bothering people. but i couldn’t help but feel that way. I just felt so alone and lonely and broken all the time. But then I was able to find way to beat not only depression and anxiety, and it did not involve any medication to do it. nor did it require me to be harsh with myself.
I want to help both of you guys out, I don’t think you guys nor anyone deserves to feel that way. Tell me more about how you guys are feeling. how long have you guys been feeling this way?
-Rohail BukhariOctober 10, 2016 at 8:19 pm #117736
That’s a great point! I think a lot of people tend to believe that they can’t endure it. But I also believe that it isn’t something that we have to live with. it is alright to feel down every now and then, but it doesn’t mean that we are supposed to stay there very long. I also think that we have a false definition about depression. we just think it means to “feel very very sad”. when we think of a person who is depressed, in our mind we only think of a person who is frowning or someone who has his shoulders slouched. that is just one image. it could also be someone who is smiling all the time. smiling too much, unnecessarily or laughing too much unnecessarily.
I also believe that only when it comes to challenges and moving towards big goals, you don’t have to be afraid of fear. But living in these negative emotion is something I feel is what we don’t have to do. What do you think?
Rohail BukhariSeptember 15, 2016 at 11:44 am #115278
Bro i am not religious either. I too believe religion can cause more harm than good. I believe in the vastness of the universe and how we are all a unique aspect of it.
This poem is so good.
I agree with what you are saying about the shrewd activity and being full of ourselves. Nothing new can come until we get rid of the old.
when it says “but thou art so full of thou and have such shrewd activity,” to me, in a sense, I see it as not letting go of all your negativities and when you dont do that, you can’t change yourself because God cant express Himself in an instrument that is encumbered with such ideas that cause an individual to become blind. I believe that is just one way to see it.
I read this poem multiple times and I would like to talk to you more in depth about it if you are interested in it. I can give you my email email@example.com and we can go more into depth with this poem.September 14, 2016 at 10:47 pm #115223
unconditional love is when you truly understand that you were made in the image of God and that you were designed to succeed and not fail. when you love yourself unconditionally you see yourself as full and complete and not needing material things, nor certain positive things to happen to help you feel secure as a person.September 13, 2016 at 9:55 pm #115090
I think depending on your situation, the best answer will probably vary. Understand that feeling hurt, depressed, anxious because of a breakup is normal, and it would not be very wise for me to say that one should just “forget about it because you are only hurting yourself.” I am not going to say that.
The truth is that it is so much easier said than done, and you know that’s true. Along with time, you should also work with your emotions and really ask yourself why you really feel the way you do. Whatever the breakup was and how it went down it can be extremely hard on one’s self-esteem, especially if that person was very special to us. I can’t give you proper advice because I don’t have much info about your situation to help you with. If you can give me more inputs I can do my best to help you.
PS: you are enough 🙂September 13, 2016 at 6:40 pm #115079September 13, 2016 at 12:41 pm #115071
I used to go through the same thing in my life and later on one of the things that I learned is that it can be a lack of self-esteem that we are unaware of. We give our power to these people because for some strange reason, we feel that they are better than us.
This is a very interesting topic to discuss and i am more than happy to help you with this in depth. Whenever you have the time, you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know if you would like to have a skype conversation with me and talk to me more about this. 🙂 Looking Forward to it.August 23, 2016 at 6:33 pm #113095August 21, 2016 at 6:57 pm #112953
Regarding your boss, one thing I will suggest is to try to talk to him privately and tell him respectfully that you dont like it when you criticize and embarrass him in front of others. If you are unable to do that, an alternate thing I would do is look at your situation objectively. You are currently observing your current reality and feeling terrible about it. What that means is that you are focussing on those things that cause you to feel pain. Look at your current situation objectively and understand that it is a reflection of your relationship with yourself. If your boss is criticizing you, you can objectively see that he his being negative, but when you find yourself feeling negative because of it, that is a reflection of your own attitude towards yourself. Try to change your own relationship with yourself, by loving yourself more and being kind and patient towards yourself, and do your best to at least not label THE REALITY of what your boss is doing to you as negative, while still acknowledging that he himself is being negative. Do your best. Dont condemn yourself if you cant do it at first. Learn to calmly control (not suppress) your emotions by seeing your reality as “just is” and neutral with no meaning, because it actually doesn’t have any positive nor negative meaning. From that point, see the positive in it, because it is there and then take positive action. Hope things get better for you!
-Rohail Bukhari from hablufatblogs.com
August 21, 2016 at 6:21 pm #112950
- This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by Rohail Bukhari.
I want to suggest a piece of advice that is very simple, but effective if you stick with it. Dont let the simplicity of this advice deceive you. If you are lost, first I want to give you peace of mind. Do you know that there are literally millions of people out there in a similar position as you? Well there are, so don’t feel frustrated. Now that that is out of the way, how to get yourself unstuck and moving in the direction you want to go to. The simple answer is….work on yourself.
Dont let the simplicity of this idea deceive you. I am saying this from my own experience. I just kept focussing on myself and trying to improve the quality of who I was as a human being by establishing a positive relationship with myself, and that caused my life to gradually move in a different direction. You should do the same. What this will do is shift your focus emotionally. You mentioned that you majored in linguistics and emphasized in Chinese but couldnt find any good opportunities for them. And you are not so sure about the digital design either. But you also mentioned what you do love which is great. At least you know or at least have an idea of what you love. Focus on those thing and at the same time, figure out what it is you REALLY want out of life. this will take some thought and some guts because we can limit ourselves when it comes to what we want because we dont see how it is possible.
In addition to that I would also suggest that you listen very carefully to your thoughts and find what you are naturally attracted to after you have made that change in focus to a more positive mentality. You will be surprised at what you might find. The things you mentioned about what you love may just be the beginning to something better. your passion can and probably will evolve. Once you have found that thing that you are truly passionate about, work at it. Then when you do that, doors will begin to open and you will find opportunities that will help you get to that next level of doing what you love. Hope this helps.
-Rohail Bukhari from HabluFat Blogs!August 19, 2016 at 10:34 am #112860
Thank you guys @newlife123 and @h8full8. I know a lot of times that sometimes when we think something is not perfect, it is usually a process that will help us get to where we want to be in life. Perfection is created out of imperfection. I am looking back at my life right now and seeing all the imperfect things that I have done and all the mistakes that I have made, and because I kept going and honestly seeking help and guidance from others, and trying my best to stay positive even when i didn’t feel positive at all, in the end my life has basically become almost perfect. although I know that there is still more to do and more to accomplish, the foundation of my life has been built. I am very happy where I am right now.August 19, 2016 at 12:45 am #112822
Several years ago, I had a dream that I was pursuing for years. More specifically it was a goal. I felt like this goal had to be accomplished in order for me to accomplish a bigger goal, which was more mainstream. Long story short, I did not make it happen. But now I discovered that it was one of the BEST things that ever happened to me because I was lead to my true desire. The vision that i held was just a symbol but it did not accurately portray what I truly wanted. It gave me a feeling of peace and positivity and intelligence and acceptance and fulfillment, but the vision itself apparently was not the true way I needed to go in order to feel those emotions. We want what we want because of the way it makes us feel, and the way it actually happens is usually better than you expect. And when it happens you wont force yourself to like it because it will be representative of your heart’s true desires. Your heart knows what you truly want, we just have to feed that thing and give life to it and do our best to have trust in it. Sometimes it’s exactly the way we visualized it, and sometimes it’s BETTER than the way we visualized it. 🙂