Having a hard time with moviation in "finding myself"

HomeForumsEmotional MasteryHaving a hard time with moviation in "finding myself"

New Reply
Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
  • Author
  • #51741

    Lazy has been a big deal with me lately maybe its the will my heart is there and I want so badly to do things but I am having a hard time letting go of negative and just DOING it! Its some sort of mental block in my mind that I have made for myself over the past year…this is my first time coming out and asking for help and advice about it I am only 20 years old so I feel like i’m at a loss on “who I am” if you will… I have been doing a lot of searching and put myself through a lot of emotional distress in my younger years that maybe its all the regret that has caused this blockage..I have finally came to terms with everything and the mindset is there…but why cant I just do it?

    feeling very stuck



    There might be some residual fear that remains louder than your motivation. However, its often just basic laziness, which is held within us as a delusion. Said differently, laziness is the false notion that “not doing” is more peaceful, restful than “doing”. However, when we have desires we don’t act on, we often feel cruddy, tired, suppressed as an individual. This tires us far more than the fears or regrets or effort. When we just listen to the inner voice and follow the inspiration, its actually far more restful, peaceful. Not only do we begin to see the results we’ve been wanting, but we also stay much more balanced.

    If you can see that, the only thing left is to jump! Said differently, once we can see how it feels better to act on our inspiration, it becomes a no brainer and we just jump in. Or, like I mentioned at the start, there may be some fear that makes our path cloudy. If that’s the case, sitting with the fear, making space for it, and breathing it out can help us find our courage.

    Also, figuring out “who we are” doesn’t usually work. We’re growing all the time, and our body and desires are very dynamic. Instead of finding “who is Sydney”, consider “what does Sydney need?” Sometimes when we feel disconnected from who we are, its because we’ve been stressed and have stepped away from self nurturing activities.

    Finally, sometimes “laziness” is actually a “tiger in the woods” symptom. When we are far from home, from our safe community, from like minded people, trusted people… we can lose inspiration/momentum. If you’re feeling “all alone” or “lost”, consider reconnecting with your roots, sangha, trusted loved ones, or whomever.

    Namaste, dear friend, may you find a little pep in your step.

    With warmth,



    You’re on the right track. You can find yourself through subtraction. So the more you look for “who I am” and don’t find the answer the closer you are to your essence. So instead of being stressed about that you should look at it from the other direction and be happy. You’re on the right path. Also, understand that there is no hurry. The answer to the question “who am I” is a lifelong process. If you found out today, life would be boring! 😀

    Also, Matt’s advice is dead on.

    The one thing I would add is to exercise, get proper rest and eat healthy (i.e., cut out sugar, processed foods and white flour).

    You’re 20. Your body actually works… Join a sports team. (It doesn’t matter if you have zero talent.) That will make you use your body – which in turn will activate everything else. You might even make some friends who will be much more beneficial to you than a message board.

    peace and love!

    Jennifer Bardall

    Hey Sydney,

    Keep in mind, too, that “finding yourself” is a huge popular catch phrase. Like, what does it MEAN? Figure out what it means for you, and start experimenting. Here’s the thing: You know who you are. Deep inside, you’ve never forgotten – none of us ever has. It’s a matter of stripping away the outside “stuff” that leads us away from that sure, quiet core of our being. Connecting with what makes you happy, with what makes your heart sing.

    Think back on what made you happy when you were a kid – and for you, that wasn’t so long ago. What did you want to be when you grew up? I bet you knew that you were pretty awesome – we all do, we’re born with this innate sense of wonder in ourselves which sadly is quieted down. Try to remember that. Have fun. Play. Don’t pressure yourself. Everyone tells us that we need to have things worked out by a certain age – and all that does is cause stress and worry and “stuckness”. Instead, figure things out in your own time. Listen to your heart, to your instincts. And remember that if anyone puts pressure on you to figure things out and conform, that it’s their issues and not yours that are a problem.

    You’re young. Have fun. Explore. Figure it all out on your own terms. You’ve been blessed with insight which few have. Hang in there!

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.