He blocked me for no reason

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This topic has 4 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 10 months ago by Cat.

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February 14, 2018 at 10:19 pm #192577

GK
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I was dating this guy. We had two nice dates. In between those dates he never texted me, and when I asked him why he never texted me he said he had been burned before so he didn’t want to put too much effort into dating. I should have pulled out at that point but he seemed cool and I thought he was just scared to get involved and that it would take him time to come around. He got a little better, but after our second date he abruptly stopped talking to me one night and then I didn’t talk to him for two nights because I didn’t want to be chasing him. I wanted him to put in some effort. So two days go by and today I wished him happy Valentine’s Day and said I saw a cool article he migh like and he responds back and says sorry I’ve been poached. You were really cool so I’m sorry. So I said no worries and that I needed someone who was more consistent and that maybe he wasn’t at that level yet. I’m glad he was happy and we can be friends. Well he said something about how I wanted a relationship out of the 1960s (not sure what made him think that) I clarified and said, no I looking to build a level of emotional intimacy with my partner that enables us to work toward our dreams while having each orher’s backs. He said cool, and the he blocked me in the site we me on (ok Cupid). He still has my number since we were texting, so I’m pretty sure he blocked me to piss me off or send a strong message, I’m just not sure what message he is trying to send. The thing is, there is no consequence to him blocking me since we didn’t talk in that way. I’m not sure why he did it. Can anyone help???

February 15, 2018 at 3:28 am #192599

Ash
Participant

Hi GK,

Can I ask how you met this guy? You did the right thing by stating clearly what you wanted. If he can’t provide you with that, let him go and don’t try to analyse his behaviour. In the words of Iyanla Vanzant ‘Don’t make someone else’s crazy about you’. Who knows why he blocked you, but it sends the message loud and clear. Leave him to it and get you a guy who can be consistent and give you the attention you deserve.

Ash

February 15, 2018 at 3:52 am #192603

Eliana
Participant

Hi GK,

I’m sorry this happened. Believe me, you did nothing wrong. I too have had my share of bad experiences of online dating and dating when men have “friended” me on Social media and it turned romantic..and yes, after several months, I fell in love. It happens to alot of people. Online dating is very complicated and difficult and most often does not work. I had my heart broken over and over again. I have chosen not to take this route again. You never know who is behind the screen. They may be married, lonely and just looking for attention and an ego boost by flirting with women, then they suddenly ghost you and move on to the next victim, and so on. That is why he blocked you..again, nothing to do with you, he didn’t want you to see his activity. Many men are in arranged marriages. They are unhappy and lonely..and just looking for someone to talk to. They lie and say They are single. I once even met a man who was a felon writing me in prison! I did not know this until I used truth finder. I found out his past history and that he had several felonies and currently incarcerated. Yet, he portrayed himself as this great single man who was working and traveled for business. It’s all too complicated, too much drama, ghosting, lies, confusion, blocking and insincerity. Best bet is to meet someone by shared interests, hobbies, volunteer work, etc. x

February 15, 2018 at 4:37 am #192619

Inky
Participant

Hi GK,

It sounds like this guy used OK Cupid for light fun entertainment and you used it be find someone serious. He blocked you after you spoke your truth. Some people can’t handle that. I’d be pissed too (wrote a post about blocking on FaceBook). So I know the feeling. “Hey, you’re lucky I added you as a Friend at all, buddy.” For you it would be “I dated you out of the goodness of my heart, and lest we forget, I had doubts about you!”

Maybe you should find someone through mutual friends? Then it’s less easy for them to simply “block” you without social fallout and they’d be more apt to treat you with respect.

Best,

Inky

February 15, 2018 at 12:49 pm #192735

Cat
Participant

Hi GK,

Don’t worry, I know this feeling only too well(!!) I had a boyfriend in Chicago who I was long-distancing with (even though he was a coke addict – long story). I had a breakdown/ breakthrough over Christmas, and messaged him during my breakdown. He blocked me, and never contacted me again – even though he was meant to come visit me in England.

What did I learn from it? I learnt that I was seeing him as an escapism for my life, and losing him was the best thing to happen to me. Too often I have put too much focus on men in my life, instead of building a life that I am happy with on my own. I have learnt to love myself first, and see other people as secondary – whereas before I would love people more than I love myself which is lethal.

I have Tinder at the moment, and there is a guy I have been talking on/ off with. Although sometimes he takes a while to reply… I am trying to not have too much attachment to Tinder because a lot of people see it as something that isn’t really that important “It’s just a Tinder match”. So, I am not putting too much emphasis on that, and also I don’t really want to date at all right now, I am just using it to talk to people.

In terms of your situation. I would say, only put meaning on to real life interactions. Don’t put too much expectation on to internet dates, and take as much as much as much time as you need. Maybe try and have a friendship first/ get to know that person etc. Don’t allow other people’s judgement make you question yourself.

In terms of the 1960s thing, he’s saying that because he sounds like a guy who just likes control over women – his way or the high way. Not guy that you want, or deserve. Forget about him, and try and make genuine friendships with people 🙂

Also – there’s a song called ‘Och Aye’ by Kiss Me Killer on spotify – it might make you feel better 🙂

Cat
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