Hi Sofia, thanks for sharing. I’m not sure what school level you are in, but your story resonated with me back when I was in high school, and sometimes college, but not nearly as much as high school.  So, sometimes in my case, I would create the version of the guy I wanted and “needed” him to be for myself to make me feel wanted and “sexy” if I had to say. It wasn’t even like in real life he was that amazing. I found him very attractive, like with everything he did or the way his voice sounded, or the way his hair looked, etc… silly, simple things that I totally blew out of proportion to make myself feel better about myself, I suppose. In high school I felt like, looking back, my self esteem was lower than where it should have been. I really wanted and “needed” to feel noticed by guys I was crushing on. Yeah… they never crushed back on me.. but in retrospect, that is totally okay. I don’t think looking back on it as a 30 year old woman, it would have been a good match anyway. Over the years, I have come to learn that I desire a deep, meaningful relationship with a man, and to have him be able to communicate well and often. I guess that is a fairly common request and need of most women though. But still, looking back on my days of spending way too much, WAY too much time wasting time turning guys into someone I totally fantasized over and made them into the boy I wanted them to be, that is not, in reality, who they actually were in real life. When guys that I really liked and I actually spoke, it was dull, not nearly as dreamy as I had hoped, and it just made me feel weird and disappointed initially after the interaction. But then some time would pass and I would either go back to creating the version of them I wanted, or I would recognize it was not going the direction I needed and would move on with my life. I hope in a weird way, this helps!