I feel like everyone hates me

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This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 11 months ago by kk.

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December 30, 2014 at 10:40 pm #70050

Keely
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Hello, I am a 17 year old girl and I need help. I have always felt guilty for things I cannot control and I have always felt like everyone hates me. I was bullied as a child, which made me seem quite stuck up through middle school because I was trying to hide the fact that I was crying myself to sleep every night. In grade 9, I was bullied online and this caused me to feel a great amount of guilt, as i felt that I was to blame for a group of girls who decided they didn’t like me and told me to kill myself. Things have gotten much better from then, but I still have the same insecurities as I did when i was in grade 9. I do not like myself and I feel as though all bad things that happen are my fault. I am constantly anxious and cannot get a text or a Facebook notification without feeling like something bad is going to happen. I’m tired of the win of this guilt and feeling like everyone thinks of me as a stuck up, annoying snob like they did in middle school. I need help, I’m very stressed out.

December 31, 2014 at 6:20 am #70058
Inky
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Hi Keely,

Well, the peer group you are in failed. And as you know, God forbid someone tries to support you or they will be the target. You know what bullying is, don’t you? It’s not so much because of low self esteem. It’s because (ironically) of inclusion. Bullying, like gossiping, bonds people together. Think of your peers as literal gangs of monkeys.

So you can do a few things:

1. Find a different peer group in another place, in another activity, in another setting. Good, new experiences will negate old, bad experiences

2. Become friends with older college age kids. They are more young adults and mature and they will instinctively support you, not bully you. After all, you are no threat to them. Again, this will counteract any old bad experiences.

3. Ditch FaceBook. No one uses it anymore. At least not the kids I know. That’s the old, outdated life calling. And change your cell phone number. Only give it out to the trusted few who are good enough TO YOU to deserve it. If you only have a few numbers programmed in, that’s OK.

New Year and All That,

Inky
- This reply was modified 9 years, 11 months ago by Inky.
December 31, 2014 at 4:56 pm #70069

Adam
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Hey Keely,
I’d first like to thank you for opening up about this. Seeking help is the first step to acknowledging the problem and it takes courage to face what you’re going through. I can tell you that because you focus your attention on feeling like people hate you, it intensifies. Also, focusing on the guilt you feel has the exact same effect. Your thoughts are powerful things and thoughts create feelings. Your thoughts are creating feelings of guilt.

If you want stop rid yourself of the anxiety, fear, and unhappiness that you feel right now you need to change your mindset and the way you look at yourself. Read my personal blog, thepathofaronin.blogspot.com. It covers more of that.

Until you stop beating yourself up and start praising yourself, you’ll always be in this position. You are a wonderful human being full of potential. Don’t let people or situations control your emotions. I am 25 years old now but when I was your age I struggled with my weight in high school and was bullied for that. I already had anxiety and that made it so much worse. I speak to you from experience and right now, I am the happiest I’ve ever been and I owe a part of that to being bullied. Without being bullied, I wouldn’t be as strong as I am, I wouldn’t be as motivated to better myself or help others, and I wouldn’t know myself as well. I am grateful for those experiences and when you are able to be grateful for yours, they won’t be able to control you anymore.

Good luck, keep striving to be better and don’t let yourself be pulled down!

January 2, 2015 at 11:33 am #70122

kk
Participant

Hi Keely, hope u are doing better today. Keep ur head up, ok?
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