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I miss my struggle

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  • #119999
    Bill
    Participant

    so although a lot of the time it seems like almost everybody wants to just be happy all the time and forget their worries, get over their issues and that’s that. for the past 3 weeks I’ve been very peaceful, very content with life, self-development, and really any issue I usually would be dealing with or overthinking etc. And I haven’t got too many complaints about this…or i did for the first week or two. what i’m feeling right now is that i haven’t got any struggle, stress, worry or pain emotionally or mentally. Most people would say “well that’s great, i wish my life was that chill”. But really what i’m relating this all back to is the ying and yang philosophy, that there is no light without dark as they compliment one another and are intertwined. the reality that i have been feeling so so positive for about 3 weeks now, is really beginning to not be special anymore.
    I (for one) half a year ago maybe never thought i would be wanting to feel stressed and depressed, but right now i feel a great longing for it. i want that struggle, at least just one bad day, so that when i do feel positive, it’s not just boring. The bad times are what make the good and vice versa (ying and yang).
    what’s more is that i am maintaining my habits that i do for self improvement. i keep a journal of my stresses of the day and a journal of my joys of the day; and for over 100 days now i’ve practised mindfulness guided meditation packs every morning for 10 minutes. these (alongside other positive activities and most importantly thoughts) have helped me for over most of this year so far, however, i now feel like i haven’t not anything to aim towards. a goal or even a dream. i don’t feel i have an area to improve in.
    i don’t know what kind of advice anyone can give to me on this but i would appreciate responses and opinions. the main thing is just the feeling of happiness and peace of mind not being special in the last weeks without any pain to go through the get there. i do love challenge and the satisfaction it brings after the storm; calm waters are getting very boring.

    #120009
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Bill:

    You wrote: ” the reality that i have been feeling so so positive for about 3 weeks now, is really beginning to not be special anymore… right now i feel a great longing for it (feeling stressed and depressed). i want that struggle, at least just one bad day”

    – well, you got your want and longing materialized: you are having a bad day. When you long for something different from what you are experiencing, you are no longer content.

    anita

    #120046
    Marc
    Participant

    I’ve realized that I need a balance between wallowing and ignoring feelings. (This is less of me giving advice and more of trying to learn what I should do, though it’s both.)

    #120088
    Clare
    Participant

    Dear Bill,
    Congratulations on such a feat. I commend you for doing what it takes to reach such a milestone. I am certain that it goes without saying that you have not always been in such alignment with this higher form of yourself so it’s very inspirational that you’ve managed to attract to you what you sought.

    I think your question is a perfectly legitimate one because I too was feeling a similar way earlier on today but for an entirely different reason. 3 months ago, I was in the midst of healing from inconceivable sorrow and turmoil- something occurred in my life that literally ripped the very seams from my already fragile life. I lost the most important person in my life, the one person in whom I felt joy and life and I was left to face the demons of my sad little existence alone on my own. I didn’t think I would survive and I wanted to die and there was no one who understood or even cared to understand this great pain. But during this time, I learned about myself, I learned to nurture myself, I learned to find contentment in me, being alone in the simplest, humblest of places to be. It was through that struggle, that pain that quiet time, the many shed tears, the overwhelming feelings of sorrow and grief that I felt a true and pure power and love within me.

    That wonderful, remarkable, agonizing period ended when I decided to return to New York for work. I have since recently returned home and brought back a whole lotta baggage and extra grief that I certainly didn’t need. I’m no longer dealing with the grief that I once had but now, the struggle that I face is no longer localized. There’s so much muck within me that I don’t even know where to begin in order to reach that high vibration that you’ve described for us. So I too on today missed my struggle, I missed the pureness of that remarkable pain that brought me so much closer to myself.

    I would say continue to nurture and build up this positive vibration that you have found. I can understand the frustration that might ensue once one feels a sense of complacency in their satisfaction. Perhaps you may even subconsciously feel anxious that you are in the calm before the storm?

    I also have the idea that you take some time and share your stories with others. You could help people with your experiences. I come to this website so often and I find so much inspiration during the most difficult times. I’m sure you have a story to tell that so many others wouldn’t mind reading. Maybe you could write about what has been the impetus for this new found freedom and high vibration that you’re experiencing. And in so doing, perhaps you can reflect on where you once were to where you are now and that might engender a deeper understanding of your past struggles and a more profound appreciation for your recent awakening. I think and I hope that this could help you and so many others.

    I hope my thoughts have resonated somehow.
    Hummingbird

    #120265
    Bill
    Participant

    Dear hummingbird9442,
    thank you for taking the time to reply in such length. thank you for your congratulations, your own story and your advice. However i do not feel anxious that this could be the calm before the storm for i miss the balance of having any kind of ‘storm’. i just feel quite bored without something to work towards or a some sort of challenging emotions or thoughts. funnily enough, your recommendation of me sharing to others among the community here is something i’ve done a few times in the past in aid to try and help others, but alongside that also help myself.
    anyway, i very much appreciate the honesty and depth of your reply and hope to get a reply again possibly with anymore advice you feel you have. i myself, feel that i should be patient as pain, grief, struggle, street etc.. will come at the right time. i have developed rapidly as a person this year and maybe this is a little break just as we come out of 2016 and into 2017? who knows?

    #120460
    Steven Segal
    Participant

    How interesting, as I too have felt content and satisfied with the way my life is at the moment. I also find myself somewhat bored, if it were not for my work which I enjoy. But I can only work so much and now I find myself with more free time than I know what to do with. I have a hobby but I am looking for a new challenge. I don’t want to take on a challenge just for the sake of it, it needs to be worthwhile to me. I’m very goal-oriented and I think my recent contentment is due to me having achieved some very important life goals that I’ve been working on for many many years.

    The odd thing is when I was working towards those life goals I could picture myself at the “goal line” and how relieved I would be. Now that the line has been crossed and the initial elation has passed I find myself somewhat aimless. I have no idea what to do next in my life. My job is good and I don’t want to change that. My personal life is good. It would appear that all is well. However… what now? If I don’t find a new goal I feel like I would be wasting time. I need a new interest perhaps. But how do I find it?

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by Steven Segal.
    #120560
    Bill
    Participant

    hey segal25,
    i completely agree with you in what you’ve described and hopefully for both of us we know feel that someone does experience the same as you and i have well described. at the moment i’m just trying to enjoy the moment as i’m trying to believe at the moment that it is impossible for anyone be 100% emotionally or mentally stable. it is a shame in respects that i am so content at the moment because what i’ve found is that with that pain or struggle, i set many goals and have a lot of motivation to get to ‘the finish line’ as you said. however although yourself and i might be used to large rises and falls in happiness or something for example, at the moment i am just having little to no dips and this will change in time.

    #120563
    Jessy Mae
    Participant

    Dear Bill,

    This is just my opinion, take it with a grain of salt. You need a goal. Something to challenge you and motivate you. You don’t want to struggle with happiness, you want to struggle with accomplishment. Helping others can be a worthy goal, but perhaps you need something that challenges you personally. Can you run a mile in under a minute? Ever tried passing a securities test? Writing a book? One handed push-ups? Seeing how many times you can satisfy your lover in a row? Start your own business? Train for a marathon? I’m sure you can think of a million other things that you’d like to try or have thought about doing. Do those. Human beings have to have a goal or they feel exactly the way you feel. You need something to shoot for! Have you tried sales? There’s always a quota to hit! Bonus can be very nice when you do.

    Good Luck!
    Jessi

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