Dear Tey

I am sorry that you feel stuck.  Yes homesickness & nostalgia are pulling at your heartstrings at the moment along side what seems a lack of motivation from your husband.  I guess some open dialogue needs to happen between you, about both of yours  hopes,  dreams & fears and how you want to grow & nurture the relationship etc. Does your husband suffer from depression or low self esteem or illness? You do not mention your ages. Also many relationships go into the doldrums at about this time span that why its called the 7 year itch.

Also try to see other options not just the two  stay because I love him or go and enjoy life  surely there is a way to find some joy in Missouri. I think Ghandi said be the change you want to see and maybe encourage baby steps forward with your husband even if it is just to sit out side and share a cup of coffee rather than a 10 mile hike,  taking joy and appreciation in the small things help rather than putting one’s happiness in just the big things.

Dear Pooja

I hear pain & tiredness in your comment. It is easy to loose oneself when being the primary caregiver.

I am a primary caregiver too but at the other end looking after an elderly father ( big nappies instead of small nappies)

back in June I got my fist 24hrs to my self in 7+ months I was able to do a 24hr prayer practice ( my joy).

Also booked ( back in May) was 3 day respite for each weekend of August. 3 days before I contacted the care home to confirm time of arrival (of 1st weekend) to be told that there was no room for him and i would not be getting any of my  booked respite this month! It took me a further two & half days to organise a replacement location which was available only for the first weekend and that too could be cancelled before or during my weekend off so I had to stay attached to my mobile phone!. Up shot was that I did not have the time to prepare & organise a retreat for myself and others ( my joy).

I had to let go of my perceived idea of what would bring me satisfaction and instead worked with the weather and any other opportunities that arrived over the weekend. I got many mini moments of joy, contentment & had time to watch a workshop on non violent communication which was very thought provoking & has given me something to work on in realtime as well as downtime.

I hope that you will get your needs met soon.

best wishes

Roberta

Hello.

That sounds terrible.

I do have a question….have either of you considered he may be depressed?

80% of divorce is initiated by the woman. And many women say that they feel they left the marriage long before they get the divorce. Then, many also say they are not exactly happy after the divorce.

Feelings of wanting a better life is not new. Everyone wants something better. More things to do. Have that feeling of being excited and alive. Some go for it. Grass is greener. Then regret.

Life is a journey. Ever sit in a car on a long road trip? It is only when you stop that you can stretch and feel better. Sitting in the car with only your thoughts, it can make one anxious and crazy.

So, What is the answer? What are we suppose to do? Well, we can not expect some to fulfill our needs and desires. Make us happy. If you’re not happy with yourself then probably won’t happen. Make yourself happy. Do things that bring joy. Personally, I like talking to people and listening. Hope you find what you’re looking for.

It sounds like you’re feeling stuck, torn between your love for your husband and the need for more fulfillment in life. It’s tough when you crave adventure and connection, but your partner is content with staying home. The isolation and lack of shared experiences can make you feel more alone, even when you’re together. You wonder if leaving would bring more happiness, but it’s a big risk, and there are no guarantees. Maybe having an open, honest conversation with him about your feelings could help. Change is hard, but you deserve a life that brings you joy.