January 23, 2015 at 4:03 pm #71837
Your response was beautiful. Thank you. I have a ton of compassion, empathy, etc. And I only hope the best for him at this point. I am still going through the grief process but the way you described the addiction part made so much sense to me and I believe you are spot on, “Untreated mental aspect of addiction” I have heard some more clinical terms of that same thing but the way you described that was something I could understand and comprehend. Thank you for your perspective as well as all of the others. I really thank you for taking time to respond to this. Wishing you the best in your recovery and congratulations! 🙂January 30, 2015 at 10:42 pm #72132
Thank you for your post. I dont understand these people or why they sometimes seem so amazingly wonderful etc. and they turn into heart crushing devils! I read that article. I feel sick to my stomach thinking I was only special because my guy was just waiting for positive thoughts to push him into his next relationship. lol. Sounds awful. Could be the truth though. Ugh! I really am a good catch! I swear! I KNOW I AM! I just dont see why I do the attachment thing…. believe the stories and ignore some things or dont even pay attention to what some one says or means to say. Its like I am an emotional retard!!!!! I have said that for years, “I think I might be emotionally retarded” Well…. time to get up and teach myself. Where in the world do I begin? Sheeesh! I should write a book titled “Frustrations of an Emotional Retard” ugh. I think Im just pessimistic right now.. I think its a part of the grief process to be honest. A few more weeks and Ill look at this post and laugh my butt off! 🙂January 31, 2015 at 11:43 am #72152Ashley ArcelParticipant
I read your post and I am sorry to hear about what you’ve been going thru.
You certainly did dodge a bullet and yet stand low but you’re not OUT. Remember, difficult times come – but they GO too.
He was a “Grey” in your life, you now have the opportunity to fill it up with Color. Remember, Life is beautiful and it is inviting you to be a part of it. GRAB IT! (with both hands) 🙂
Remember, you are a very strong women and you can come over this.
AshleyFebruary 1, 2015 at 6:38 pm #72217
Thank you so much!February 2, 2015 at 6:12 am #72242Ashley ArcelParticipant
You should be happy that you got escped from getting trapped in a relationship where a person did not bother to respect your feelings.. You deserve a much better guy who can make you happy by respecting your thoughts and feeling. And one day you will find such person.
Always listen to your heart. Keep yourself happy. You deserve it.February 2, 2015 at 7:15 am #72247losp33dParticipant
trusttheflow – you wouldn’t by chance be living on an island that is populated with women, except there is only this one guy to choose from? In my uninformed, unprofessional and unqualified opinion, these sound like classic ‘Daddy’ issues.
Someone once said something to me that overtime I discovered to be very profound: “The way you perceive your past affects the way you feel about your past.” For example, if you think you had an unhappy childhood, then you will spend your adult life begrudging the fact that you had an unhappy childhood. As an adult, you make decisions based on how you feel about your past experiences.
If you change how you perceive your past, you can change how feel about your past, and you can change the pattern of decisions that you make. While I am not suggesting you block things out of your memory or make things up, it is possible to choose different things to focus on from your past. Otherwise, I fear the next boyfriend will turn out to be just as much of an a-hole as the last one.February 2, 2015 at 12:53 pm #72262
WOW. Nail on the head! Did I even write in there about what the guy had said to me.. He said that I HATE MEN and that I don’t consciously know it but that I do. If you couldn’t tell already, every response and the initial post is me standing in front of each of you naked. Completely naked. I appreciate you being so kind with your response. Every response has been thought provoking to me. And, this view of the situation is probably very accurate. And, what I perceive of my childhood does need to change. There were some pretty incredible things that happened. I learned my love of nature, I learned responsibility by tending to my section in our family garden, I learn the value of a dollar etc. I learned how to survive, and strive for more out of life. Still to this day I take those tools everywhere I go. They are WHY and HOW I continue to grow. The bad things… Well, I guess I need to turn this around some more and really practice seeing those(unfavorable) experiences in a different light.May 1, 2015 at 7:12 pm #76049
You are wonderful!!!!!! Thank you!