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Inner Anger Issues

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  anita 1 month ago.

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  • #312983

    Tony
    Participant

    Hello all,

    I work in a school as a teacher. I have a Principal that is unethical, and everyone knows it. He is a narcissistic selfish man who only cares about himself. He is a bully and has no morals.

    Unfortunately, while we all know his practices are unethical and perhaps illegal in some areas. There is no evidence. He is that good. He has even been investigated but managed to get away through a legal loop hole thanks to his lawyer. He obviously has some supporters, and ‘friends’ in the right places, but all in all, his reputation is not a good one. We just have no evidence.

    Enough about him, he isn’t worth it, but somehow, it is impacting on me.

    Over the last wee while now, I am feeling a lot of anger build up inside of me. Anger and hate about ‘bad people getting away with things’. I have seen him hurt, manipulate and bully so many people. I want justice, revenge and see him get hurt, like he deserves. This isn’t a normal emotion I have, but somehow, it is creeping in.

    I hear you ask, why don’t you leave this toxic school and find another? I have thought about it, but I enjoy the students here, and my colleagues are amazing. The previous leadership team here was great. Then he came along, and now we are one big sinking ship while he sits on top.

    What prompted me to post on here, and seeking all your feedback was because lately, my partner has been telling me that I’ve been swearing a lot more, and over little things. I found myself the other day getting so worked up about people cutting in line. And when I consciously thought about why, I realised, it was simply me hating on people getting away with things. Like everyone else lined up, gave up their time and what gives you the right to just cut in. Same with bad drivers.

    I’ve previously done some reading on forgiving etc. But how do I forgive this? He should suffer from all his actions. If I forgive, and let it be, am I accepting it? Turning a blind eye and letting it happen? In saying that, right now, there isn’t anything I can do either to bring him down.

    But I am fuming inside from all the injustice, and it is definitely manifesting into my personal life.

    Thank you for reading

    T

     

    #313001

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Tony:

    I understand your anger. It is valid. Injustice is common everywhere: in governments, the work place (including yours), in homes, in the streets… everywhere.

    The serenity prayer can come handy to you. I will change the word “things” to “injustices”:

    .. grant me the serenity to accept the injustice I cannot change, to change the injustices I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference.

    anita

    #313097

    Peggy
    Participant

    Hi Tony,

    Do any of the other teachers feel the way you feel about this Principal?  He may have been investigated once and got away with things but that doesn’t mean that he always will.  It might be worth you keeping notes of incidents where you think his behavior is untoward should he be reported at a later date.  At least you may feel as if you have some control over this situation by doing this.  People rarely get away with this kind of behavior forever.

    This Principal may already be suffering in his personal life far more than you can ever know.  If you have no intention of leaving the school, then what alternative do you have but to make the best of a bad situation.

    Peggy

    #313143

    Tony
    Participant

    @anita Grant me the serenity to accept the injustice I cannot change, to change the injustices I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference. Thank you, I will say that to myself. And I’m grateful are still here helping so many people.

    Thank you @peggy for your reply. Yes, many teachers feel this way also, but I think they have better EQ and self control than me, to not let it creep into their personal lives – just at school.

    That is one ‘relief’ I have, knowing that karma, or whatever people want to call it, will come back around. I’ve even caught myself thinking how his wife and kids will too suffer when it eventually does catch up to him, and I didn’t even feel bad. Which is horrible, because I’m not naturally like this.

    But I guess you are right, just have to make the best of a temporary bad situation. It is just hard watching other innocent hard working people suffer and bullied by an asshole.

    #313149

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Tony:

    You are welcome and thank you for your kind note to me.

    Regarding the principal, “We just have no evidence” you wrote. What if you keep a notebook at home and take notes about his behavior, who he meets, what he does every day. Maybe in the future, if a legal action is brought against him,  your notes will help the prosecution against him.

    anita

    #313619

    Tony
    Participant

    Hey @anita

    Yes that is a good idea, like what @peggy mentioned too.

    I think for the time being, I need to practice inner acceptance. Perhaps this is one of life’s challenge to try help me grow in some way. Forcing me to practice being patience and accept even those things that I do not want to accept.

    #313631

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Tony:

    Reads reasonable, that you “need to practice inner acceptance”, and accept “those things that (you) don’t want to accept”- this is a difficult challenge. When we don’t want something to be true, we don’t want to accept it. We want to change it. When we can’t change it and we keep wanting to change it, we keep getting hurt and frustrated.

    It is similar to a bird flying into a closed window trying to get into a room in a house, banging its head against the window again and again. I guess the bird doesn’t accept that there is a closed window there, between her and the inside of a room, so she keeps flying into it, getting a headache every time.

    anita

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