Dear Roberta/ Everyone:

Wholesome patience (khanti)= to be present for the whole experience of the present moments, for things which are pleasing and things unpleasing, not being triggered easily, not being reactive. Not being of a ‘divided mind”. Like fish get through their world through their medium- Water; we humans get through our world through our medium- Awareness and Attention (AA).

Our AA can be unwholesome: greed, hatred, delusion; anxiety, restlessness; preoccupations doubt, bias, agitation, exhaustion, all which diminish a person, taking one out of the whole, exhausting the person, “constantly the world’s not living up to what I want it to be.”

Or our AA can be wholesome: our inner life is our friend. We discern the difference between what’s healthy and what is not healthy for us and we put our energy where it’s healthy.

AI: Patience in Buddhist practice is not passive suffering. Instead, it’s an active openness — meeting challenges without shutting down, and letting the present moment unfold without resistance. This kind of patience is a form of strength and wisdom, not weakness.

Endurance often implies suppression or struggle. True patience, in Buddhist practice, is more active and compassionate — it’s about meeting challenges with receptivity rather than force.

Khanti (Buddhist Patience) is considered a profound skill that supports mindfulness, non-reactivity, and compassion.

When insulted or frustrated, patience means not reacting immediately, but pausing to open to the situation. In meditation, patience is the willingness to stay with discomfort without pushing it away. In daily life, patience helps us respond wisely instead of impulsively.

Fronsdal emphasizes that patience is not passive weakness. It’s an active strength that allows us to remain steady and open in the face of life’s inevitable difficulties.

Key Quotes: “Patience is not about gritting your teeth and enduring. It’s about opening to what is happening, allowing it to be present without resistance.”

“When we endure, we often tighten and close down. True patience is a softening, a receptivity.”

“Khanti, the Pali word for patience, is considered a strength — the ability to remain open and steady in the face of difficulty.”

How to Practice Patience Daily:

1. In Stressful Moments- instead of gritting your teeth when stuck in traffic or waiting in line, try softening your body and mind. Notice the situation fully — the sounds, sights, even your irritation — without pushing it away. This “opening” turns waiting into a chance to be present rather than a battle to endure.

2. In Relationships- When someone says something hurtful, patience doesn’t mean silently suffering. It means pausing, breathing, and opening to the moment before reacting. This creates space for a wiser, kinder response instead of an impulsive one.

3. In Meditation- Discomfort (like restlessness or pain) often makes us want to escape. Patience here means opening to the sensation, observing it without resistance. Over time, this builds resilience and deepens mindfulness.

4. In Personal Growth- Patience as opening means trusting the process. Whether learning a skill or healing from difficulty, you allow things to unfold naturally instead of forcing progress. This openness often reveals insights and strength you wouldn’t find by just “enduring.”

In short: Patience isn’t about toughing it out — it’s about opening up to the present moment with receptivity. That openness transforms difficulty into a doorway for wisdom and compassion.

Dear Roberta: do you have comments about the above, or anything you’d like to add to it? 🙏

🤍Anita