Dear Roberta/ Everyone:

Wholesome patience (khanti)= to be present for the whole experience of the present moments, for things which are pleasing and things unpleasing, not being triggered easily, not being reactive. Not being of a ‘divided mind”. Like fish get through their world through their medium- Water; we humans get through our world through our medium- Awareness and Attention (AA).

Our AA can be unwholesome: greed, hatred, delusion; anxiety, restlessness; preoccupations doubt, bias, agitation, exhaustion, all which diminish a person, taking one out of the whole, exhausting the person, “constantly the world’s not living up to what I want it to be.”

Or our AA can be wholesome: our inner life is our friend. We discern the difference between what’s healthy and what is not healthy for us and we put our energy where it’s healthy.

AI: Patience in Buddhist practice is not passive suffering. Instead, it’s an active openness — meeting challenges without shutting down, and letting the present moment unfold without resistance. This kind of patience is a form of strength and wisdom, not weakness.

Endurance often implies suppression or struggle. True patience, in Buddhist practice, is more active and compassionate — it’s about meeting challenges with receptivity rather than force.

Khanti (Buddhist Patience) is considered a profound skill that supports mindfulness, non-reactivity, and compassion.

When insulted or frustrated, patience means not reacting immediately, but pausing to open to the situation. In meditation, patience is the willingness to stay with discomfort without pushing it away. In daily life, patience helps us respond wisely instead of impulsively.

Fronsdal emphasizes that patience is not passive weakness. It’s an active strength that allows us to remain steady and open in the face of life’s inevitable difficulties.

Key Quotes: “Patience is not about gritting your teeth and enduring. It’s about opening to what is happening, allowing it to be present without resistance.”

“When we endure, we often tighten and close down. True patience is a softening, a receptivity.”

“Khanti, the Pali word for patience, is considered a strength — the ability to remain open and steady in the face of difficulty.”

How to Practice Patience Daily:

1. In Stressful Moments- instead of gritting your teeth when stuck in traffic or waiting in line, try softening your body and mind. Notice the situation fully — the sounds, sights, even your irritation — without pushing it away. This “opening” turns waiting into a chance to be present rather than a battle to endure.

2. In Relationships- When someone says something hurtful, patience doesn’t mean silently suffering. It means pausing, breathing, and opening to the moment before reacting. This creates space for a wiser, kinder response instead of an impulsive one.

3. In Meditation- Discomfort (like restlessness or pain) often makes us want to escape. Patience here means opening to the sensation, observing it without resistance. Over time, this builds resilience and deepens mindfulness.

4. In Personal Growth- Patience as opening means trusting the process. Whether learning a skill or healing from difficulty, you allow things to unfold naturally instead of forcing progress. This openness often reveals insights and strength you wouldn’t find by just “enduring.”

In short: Patience isn’t about toughing it out — it’s about opening up to the present moment with receptivity. That openness transforms difficulty into a doorway for wisdom and compassion.

Dear Roberta: do you have comments about the above, or anything you’d like to add to it? 🙏

🤍Anita

Hi Everyone

Jet Li came out with an interesting video recently. Apparently he is producing a series of videos about philosophy. I finally got around to watching it. 🩵

For whatever it may be worth, Thomas (and it may be worth nothing at all to you), but I thought it cannot harm to tell you-

I do think that you are funny, very funny. You made me laugh many times (I did let you know), particularly your self- deprecating humor.

I believe that you are a good – and a funny 😁 man, Thomas.

Thank you for being you, and thank you for being here.

You make a positive difference 🙏

🤍 🙏 ✨️ Anita

The quest for the seeker is not for the answer alone. It is to learn thru the journey how to be more compassionate and wiser in one’s actions. So, if I already had the answer then I would be happier and kinder for that is the nature of the answer. If there was no heaven or hell, no rebirth, no karma then my life would still continue as it does. Looking for the answers. Growth is in the seeking. The fun and happiness is in the journey. Buddha said there are like 84,000 ways.

Poetry is wonderful when it inspires and brings one emotional release. Much like “I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach” by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Not that I ever knew what is meant by soul. But, that was easy to understand and easy to feel the emotion the writer was trying to pass on to the reader. Otherwise, poetry just confuses me.

Oh, I got a question. In a room, where people sit to meditate, what is the etiquette when one needs to fart. Does the offender just fart or do they try to make a quick dash to the other room? In a Zendo, they have a person with a stick to whack people over the shoulder to bring their attention back. Can one use that on the person who farted if the fart is really smelly? Sorry, that went south really fast. I just wanted to know what is expected if one needs to fart.

Okay, I am moved to answer “What is expected if one needs to fart”, “in a room where people sit to meditate” 🧘‍♂️ 🧘‍♂️ 🧘‍♀️ 🧘‍♂️ 🧘‍♂️ 🧘‍♀️

Before I continue, let me see 👀 if there’s such a thing as a fart emoji.. No! How disappointing 😞.

Let me look for anything close to it.. ⛽️ is all I am getting.

Back to the question. I am giving this deep thought 🤔 I wonder if the meditating people can discuss and agree on what to do ahead of time?

I mean bring it to the open so that individuals don’t struggle with the dilemma individually. Just make it a group decision.

Also, agree on foods to eat and foods not to eat before meditation. Also, there’re tablets available over the counter to prevent smelly parts. I mean farts (I’m using my number phone 📱)

Oh, of course, meditating rooms can be ventilated, and there are air purifiers that neutralize bad smells.

The above was my best 👌 attempt to answer your question, Thomas.

🤔 ⛽️ 👀 😷 🤔 Anita

Roberta, I hope this f. talk is okay with you, being that this is your thread (and your very first thread since you signed in to the forums on April 2, 2022)..?