Laura,

Looking at this from an outside perspective I have to say that one, at first I thought, “well, he can’t get around starting his car and letting run if the weather is cold.” However, then you said you live in warm climate, so then it doesn’t make sense, but then I thought, “perhaps it is an older model and needs to run for a while before it can get going.” I say this because my step dad has an older truck, like a 2000 model, and while in good condition, if you do not let it run for at least 5 minutes it will start shaking. They had lots of work done on that truck but it is a problem that persists. Quite honestly, if it is that, then there’s nothing that you can do. He is not going to simply go out and replace his vehicle. It is simply something that you will have to put up with.

At least your neighbor does it only at a certain time. My neighbor on the other hand, will blast the music in his car at max volume at least once a day. It is terrible because he must have some of those added speakers with bass because you can literally feel the music reverberate off of the walls. I’ll be in the living room, or the kitchen and I can clearly hear the sound of his music. It even makes the door and some decorations on the walls shake. Which means it is definitely loud. I live in a duplex, and there is a neighbor in between us. I can’t imagine how my other neighbors deal with it. It is intolerable. Sometimes you just need peace and quiet, but no. He has no consideration. It causes me headaches sometimes. He’ll do it at noon, at 3 pm, at 5pm, at 8 pm. Clearly, he doesn’t care. You should see the way he and his wife treat each other. They don’t care who sees or hears them, they argue and cuss each other out. Imagine what he’d say to me, if that’s how he treats his wife.

I had considered reporting him and getting police involved. However, it would require me to testify against him in court. I don’t want to make things worse, so I put up with it. I always tell myself that things could get worse. I tell myself, just one or two more years of this and I’m gone, or hopefully he’ll move out. Otherwise I just try and spend time in the rest of the house, or I put on my music (not anywhere near as loud as his). Think happy thoughts and think that the problem is only temporary.

Try to adjust your sleeping schedule around the time he starts his car. Sleep earlier, wake up earlier. Spend that time doing some relaxing things. I know it is not fair for you to have to adjust your life to avoid the issue, but I am afraid there is nothing else you can do, other than move out, or get everyone around your apartment involved. If they are willing to also call the police or testify then perhaps you can make the issue go away. Otherwise, hang in there, and remember, it could always be worse.

Dear Laura:

Also, i don’t think it will hurt if you … kindly tell that neighbor how his car running is right under your window. If you get there when it is running and show him: look, this is my window. The car wakes me up. Could you please…?

Didn’t help me, in the case above, but maybe it will work for you, in addition to the installment in his car.

I too was very considerate of neighbors and I too cannot understand how others are not… but it is what it is.

Please update us with developments and all the best to you!

anita

Dear Laura:

I see, the possibility that he will retaliate, unfortunately, is a real possibility. If Management though is not effective, I think you have a chance (and I am talking about a statistical chance) to get a positive response from him if you approach him about this just the … right way. First get clarity of the situation in your own mind:

If Management is ineffective, and police is not an option (because by the time they would get there, he would stop the engine or for whatever reason) and if the recent installment in his car that you mentioned is also not working… this means you, Laura, have absolutely no power over him and he has all the power in this context. Do you agree?

With this understanding, if you agree, it really is all up to him for as long as you live there (unfortunately but so it is)- in this case you approach him according to this unfortunate reality and convey to him something like: I know it is all up to you. You have the power. How I sleep is up to you since your car, here, is right underneath my bedroom, there. Therefore I am asking you, as the one having the power over me, to (do this or that)…

…?

anita

I’m guessing letting all the air out of his tyres isn’t an option…

What about every time he does it, if its possible, – stick your head out the window or go down and be annoyingly friendly (sounds like he’s the type being friendly would annoy) just be so crazy annoying (in a nice way) ‘thanks for waking me – i’d never get up otherwise, what a lovely day, talk about medical problems, you great aunt’s birthday party etc that hopefully he decides he needs to avoid you and there for not wake you up with his car 🙂

And if he’s friendly back then you ask him nicely if sometimes he can be quiet with the car.

The sick angry annoyed pit of stomach thing is i think to do with lack of control (it is for me in these situations anyway) so what ever way you can take some control of the situation (not necessarily the above!) might help.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 2 months ago by Eris.