I need to let out this and get some comfort. I started a casual sex relationship about a month ago. I am still pretty new to this, so we had our ups and downs while I figured out what I wanted or needed. I wanted more friends with benefits; he wanted a sex only thing. However, he agreed to hang out sometimes. Even for the sex thing, he was kind of flaky. Like he would say he wanted to see, but then something came up and he cancelled. He was mostly busy and had his personal things (friends, etc.) going on, which I understood because we were not dating, so I was not a priority anyway.
Finally, we were making a process, and it was beginning to be something I was enjoying. Communication was consistent (only texting for meetings, but consistent). I invited him to go to the movies. We had only hung out once before and it was for a quick lunch (the first time we met in person). When planning the movies, he said he was excited to go out with me. He said it twice that week, literally one the day before the movie. He said he may come by my place after the movies. I thought he may have some plans, so he did not want to commit. After the movies, he said that he believed he cannot come by my place, and we may have to stop seeing each other for sex. We went inside his car to talk. I asked if there was another person.
So, he said he met this woman about 1-2 years ago. They both like each other, but she never follows through plans. She lives about an hour from here. One time he agreed to meet with her in another town, he drove there (1 hr or 1 ½ hr away) and she did not show up. And it seems, she does that constantly to him. He said she has a kid, which is difficult for her (I think that if you are interested in someone, you will at least call/text him that you cannot make it). Now she is hanging out more in our town. So, she has been more consistent with him these last 2 weeks. She invited him on a trip to another State (other people are going) next month. He seemed excited about that. He said he just wanted something casual with her, but he did not want to be with both at the same time. He said they just had kissed like a year ago, that they had not sex.
He said he was open to continuing friendship with me. But I pointed out he has not been consistent with me in the past and that he was always busy. And now that she will be in his life, he will not have time to hang out with me. He said that was true, but he will have time for sure in summer because he doesn’t work.
Here is where I may overstep. I told him that if he was my friend (we were still knowing each other), I would ask him why he is still behind her if she showed him before she is inconsistent (well, that may change since she is hanging out in this town more now). I was not trying to be rude, but he did not take it well and got mad at me. He was not exactly rude, but he said that I should not use the information he gave me against him. That at least he was honest and did not ghost me (which I appreciated). He said something like the conversation was done and that I should go (leave his car). We did hug (but I don’t remember if that was before or after he told that). I think it was before he got mad because I remember I was apologizing for being rude and touching his arm. And his body language (and face) suggested to me he did not want me to touch him, and he was mad (again not rude or violent). So I don’t think he will contact me again. And I don’t think it is a good idea to contact him after that. I apologized already anyway. I don’t understand why he said he was excited about seeing me and then breaking up with me. I am guessing he may want to stay in touch with me as a friend, but the conversation did not finish as desired. I felt bad how I managed it; I should not express my opinion about the situation with the other girl.
I know I should not expect a friendship with him. I don’t even think he will be a good friend. I am madder with myself than to him. I don’t have friends or family here. I have tried, but nothing has worked out for long term. I was excited to get to know someone and hang out a few times. I felt comfortable with him having sex and I liked his company in general. My last relationship was bad, so I was trying to feel good about myself again. I am ok being alone, but it doesn’t mean I wish to have friends/partner. And then, there is the comparation with the other woman (which I know I should not). I was waiting to save some money and being better financially to move closer to my family. But after this, I think I will ask my parents for help. I still must wait for the lease to end though in September. I know I have to let this go but is difficult to do.