September 8, 2019 at 11:07 am #310857
There are no therapists in your city, how about counselors or advisors, someone older who will sit with you and listen?
You need people to talk to, starting with just one kind, patient person with a bit of wisdom, just enough to understand the basic facts of your life and encourage you to survive the next two years and to start you on a healing journey.
In this journey, take with you this one thing: be gentle with yourself, be kind to yourself. You had a very tough start of life- don’t make it more difficult for yourself by hating yourself.
Be to yourself and for yourself what you needed your mother to be, what you needed a parent to be. Be that for yourself. Seek that one other older person to listen to you empathetically and respectfully. And post here any time you want to. I for one will listen to you and respond to you every time.
anitaSeptember 9, 2019 at 1:37 am #310965
Thank you very much. Thank you for listening. I’ll try to be a good one for myself as you mentioned
I hope you the best too.
JavairiaSeptember 9, 2019 at 2:56 am #310967
Let me first say hello to you and greet you and I hope you have a good day today. I am very glad I ran into your post as I am struggling with the same problem.
I lost myself somehow in last couple of years, I think I have been more focusing on not being alone and afraid to be alone that I subconsciously subjugate to relationship I was with and was so afraid to let go that person that I lost myself or maybe I never gave myself the opportunity to find my real me in all these years while going from one to another relationship. I am going through a 3 year break up right now and I am trying for the first time in my life to learn myself how to heal and how to deal with the pain and I must say that is very hard as my mind is just searching for solutions and not listening what heart is telling and I think that is the reason why I was drifting away from my real me.
I would just like to tell you that have patience and reach out here whenever you need to.I wish you a beautiful day.
LitteThinkerSeptember 9, 2019 at 3:05 am #310981
Everything became much clearer with Anita’s post regarding your childhood drama of your mother’s attempted suicide. I can see now that your brother’s attempted suicide took you straight back sub consciously to that previous incident. You became that 6 year old child again, the one who needed to be loved, the one who needed attention, the one who needed recognition. At 6 years old, you may not have the words to describe your own feelings. You coped as best you could. Now that your brother has attempted to take his own life, all the feelings that you have been masking for ten years or so have come to the surface.
It is never too late to heal that inner child. Give her the attention she needs now, hold her, cuddle her, talk to her, be gentle and kind to her, reassure her that it was not her fault, that she is safe now. Tell her over and over again that you love her. Please do this.
Sent with much love.
PeggySeptember 9, 2019 at 6:04 am #310993
You are welcome, thank you for wishing me well and please do post here anytime you want to, or start a new thread. I will be glad to read from you and reply any time you post.
anitaSeptember 9, 2019 at 8:50 pm #311165
Hello Little Thinker,
Thank you very much for the nice words.
I wish you luck for this new journey and road. I hope you bear the least hardships and get where you want to be in terms, with yourself.
Yes thank you. I will
JavairiaSeptember 9, 2019 at 8:59 pm #311167
Thank you for your reply. I will try my best to deal with those inner feelings and get out of it. I will try to recognize the pattern when that inner child comes out and how am I supposed to react then.
P.s. the poem you wrote wad very heart touching
JavairiaSeptember 10, 2019 at 3:50 am #311211
I don’t know if you have a photograph of yourself around the age of 6. but sending love and comfort to that little child creates the space for healing to begin. It will bring you peace.
Your brother’s attempt on his own life might well be the “angelic shove” that you have needed for your inner child to surface so that you can heal that part of you which has laid dormant for so long. The changes happening within you will be subtle but they will be there nonetheless.
Thank you for being so ready to listen to what I have been saying to you.
PeggySeptember 11, 2019 at 3:43 am #311517
Yes, if you see the brighter side of the picture, that allows me to re-form myself no matter how many bruises or flaws this self has. To reform into someone who won’t be that unkind to their own self.
Thank you to you too!