My boyfriend (ex) is trying to ruin my life

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    I have been talking a little bit about different problems I have been facing on here before. First, I have had trouble making friends in college which I have talked about. Second, I have been trying to deal with my boyfriend who doesn’t treat me well. All of those problems sorta came together and blew up. I have been having a lot of trouble making friends. I don’t know why. Yes, I am shy but I have always had friends. I have been making slight efforts (although I can probably do more) to meet people and invite them out, however, everyone I meet ends up being my acquaintance and I can’t meet people I truly bond with to become good friends. This has taken a toll on me as everyone around me is out partying and having fun. I haven’t been to one party simply because I don’t have friends who invite me. I also talked about how I met a guy who liked me and flirted with me. I liked how he treated me and I thought that I liked him but then I realized I didn’t. I only liked how he treated me better than my boyfriend does. Anyway, after I realized I didn’t like him I also realized how much I love and appreciate my boyfriend. Because of this, I thought it was right to tell him I have a boyfriend. We remained friends though as we got along very well and this kid is really the only person who invites me to study, hangout, etc. But my boyfriend is very controlling so I kept our friendship a secret. I knew that if I told my boyfriend about him (even though we are strictly friends), my boyfriend would flip out and start messaging him on social media. So I hid it. My boyfriend found out I am friends with him and assumed the worst. He accused me of kissing, having sex, going on dates, and having feelings for this guy. Oh, and he messaged him on social media. Then he broke up with me.

    There is more to the story but I am too depressed to write anything else. I just need help going through this.

    • This topic was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by Katie.

    Hello Katie,

    Im sorry that you are going through a difficult time right now.


    When I went to university, I had the same experience that you did in trying to make friends. Then I started to feel resentful about it, but knuckled down to my studies.  Eventuallyy,  I did make friends. Admitedly,  I was likely older than you as where most of the people at my lectures and tutorials.  I was ssurprisedto eventually learn that there were not all of these parties which I had imagined. Most students were so busy with supporting themselves financially as well as studying, and there wasnt the time or energy for parties though I cant know fot sure if that is relevant in your case.  When I did make friends,  it was through participating in various group assignments.


    Regarding your boyfriend, that is unfortunate.  Regardless as to whether you should have told him more,  his response raises sone serious red flags as to whether he is mature enough for a relationship.


    Hi Katie,

    It is a blessing he broke up with you. This was bound to happen. You can’t remain sequestered from half of the human race forever.

    NOW you get to have one true friend (this other guy) and you can build your friend group from there. Hint: Bond with his friends.




    Hi Katie

    I’m sorry that you are in low spirits these days. Your boyfriend broke up with you and you feel sad, and that’s normal – because he’s the person you know and had an intimate relationship. However, when time passes, you will feel better because, in your former posts, your ex didn’t treat you well. In my opinion, he acted like a child. You deserve better.

    About bonding with others, did you bond with your classmates of Philosophy?


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