Dear Karma,

I liked myself but i was always concious as i was not very good looking and all my friends were pretty. They has bfs and I never had one. Infact i usee to like a boy in my school days but he liked someone else. I thought that may be I don’t look good enough..

Right, so your insecurity came from your physical appearance, that’s where you felt “not good enough”. And you say B was a cricket player – was he handsome and popular too? Did girls give him a lot of attention? Was he that kind of guy? And you felt he was “too good for you”, or that you really have to give your best not to lose him?

He was decent looking boy who had 17 flings before meeting me.

So he was popular with girls, wasn’t he? How did that make you feel?

Yes, he was. I was happy knowing that i am with a famous guy

Maybe you were idolizing him a little? Maybe you thought you were lucky to be with him, perhaps lucky that he chose you?

How did he treat you – did he make comments about your looks, or say anything that would suggest he feels superior to you?

No, he never made me feel infrrior about my looks or appearance .

That’s good. But you already felt inferior before, and perhaps being with him made you feel a little better about yourself? Like it boosted your self-esteem a little?

I was happy knowing that i am with a famous guy

I’ve already asked you this, but did you feel like you’ve won a lottery with him, and that you have to give your best (and accept however he treats you) in order not to lose him?

Dear Karma,

Please help as what to do to ensure i have a happy life. My parents have stated lookimg for alliance for my marriage. I don’t want my past to haunt me in my future life.

I understand, that’s why I am trying to help you find out why you don’t love yourself. Because that’s what I see as the biggest obstacle for a happy life.

In my teens and youth, I also suffered from low self-esteem regarding my physical appearance, and was jealous of girls prettier than me. But my sense of lower self-worth didn’t start in my teens and wasn’t caused by my looks, but started much earlier in my childhood, with my mother criticizing me a lot. That’s how I started believing I am not good enough (which later included “not pretty enough” as well).

It would be important to figure out what’s the real cause of your low self-esteem. If you would like to tell me a bit more about your childhood, please do. Because that’s where the reason may be, as well as the solution for your current problems. If on the other hand you had a great childhood, with loving and supportive parents and siblings, then the reason is somewhere else.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Tee.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Tee.