I’m so so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the pain and grief you are going through. I hope you get through this tragic time in whatever way you can, rely on extended family and friends, anyone that can support you both through this difficult time.
My thoughts are with you and I’m sending as much warmth to you as I can. I’m so sad for you. In the weeks and months to come, this is a good forum to help with advice and support. There is always someone at the end of the keyboard.
I woke up this morning and I think I’m still in shock. My mom has to identify my brothers body today. Being that he shot himself in the head, it’s going to be beyond horrific for her.
She doesn’t want me to go, which I know that my mental state isn’t strong enough, I don’t want to remember him that way. I want to remember him the last time we were together. We went to the mall and spent the whole day together.
I knew he had issues, he was never the same after we lost our dad 2 years ago.
Before he committed suicide he mentioned to me on numerous occasions that he wanted to be with my dad. I believe that he is.
I don’t know how I’m going to make it through this, I know the worst is yet to come.
I wish I would have went with him when he wanted to go drink, even though I do not drink.
He was in such a rage, I should have known and he would still be alive.
You may still be in shock, but you will process it in time. It’s an horrific time for your family.
One thing I will say is this……it is not your fault. He seemed to have his mind made up and I don’t want you to experience extra suffering by going over and over what you could have done. But I completely understand how difficult that might be for you right now.
Try to be around people who care about you and talk whenever you need to. I’m so sorry.