Dear Lindsey:

Congratulations for closing on your new condo next week! And it is wonderful that you are getting along really well with your mother and will be staying there for Easter.

Regarding Derrick: he responded that February “turned out pretty great.. because we met”- that was sweet of him to say that, and assuming it is true for him, he was sweet and truthful. Your reply: “really why is that?”- meaning it didn’t occur to you that it was a great thing that you met him. Rephrasing what you told him: why do you think it was a great thing that we met? I don’t! His response: lol as in: how embarrassing for me, my bad.

You then wrote to me: “I don’t understand why my brain is telling me he’s not going to text me again”- if he is an honest guy who really enjoyed having met you last month (not in person, I understand), then I figure his feelings are hurt.

anita

Dear Lindsey:

Well, that emoji that makes all the difference! A winking smiley face gives a totally different context t the words you sent him. It is a very likely possibility that he’s been communicating with a number of women at one time, being that dating apps do provide this opportunity, multiple women to communicate/flirt with. This explains a man taking breaks between texting and disappearing altogether.

Imagine little to no technology: a man meets a woman in person and she is the only woman around that he knows about. Well, he is likely to pay attention to her because it is she or no one that he knows about. Dating apps on phones being carried around everywhere and.. well, I’ve seen an elderly woman on the phone going between Senior Citizen Match. com and Plenty of Fish, back and forth.

anita

Dear Lindsey:

Yes, better focus on more important things. Regarding online dating, always remember the competition, that while a man is chatting with you, he is most likely chatting with other women, and as time goes on, he may come back to you or not. Don’t think of any kind of exclusivity with a man you meet on a dating app until such exclusivity is discussed and agreed to on both sides after getting to know each other  long enough.

anita

Dear Lindsey:

You wanted to feel better after feeling badly about the ex so you went on a dating app, for the purpose of feeling better, and the result: “I feel awful”.

I can see being successful at feeling better as a result of going on a dating app only if you are absolutely fine with communicating with different individuals, having no expectation of exclusive or lasting communication with any man you meet online. No expectations= no awful feeling. If you can’t manage to have this attitude in regard to dating apps, don’t go there!!!

There are other ways to feel better- socializing with new people not in the context of dating and romance.

Don’t know what that would be. I see groups of people in my small town- USA having meetups such as art classes taking place from time to time in a local taproom, people gathering for trivia night (not late at night), and such. Maybe you can find something that will fit you?

anita

Dear Lindsey:

Remember that each guy you talk with on a dating app is talking to five, ten, or more women on the same day he is talking with you, asking all the women similar questions. If you keep that in mind, you wouldn’t take whatever a dating app man tells you seriously until you meet him in-person and repeatedly.

anita

Dear Lindsey:

“I’m just sensitive and take things too much to heart”- be selective as to the people you are sensitive to. Get to know a person first, in person, repeatedly, before you take what he says deep into your heart.

anita

Dear Lindsey:

How are you??

anita