Hi Alessa:

I did a little research on what you brought up here and I read that this kind of behavior is super common at your son’s age, especially when little ones are overwhelmed or still learning how to express big feelings,

and that it’s not a reflection of your parenting—it’s just part of the messy, beautiful process of growing up.

It sounds like he was navigating a lot: new faces, busy energy, and the challenge of sharing, which is tough even for older kids.

I read that one thing that can help is narrating his experience in the moment: “You really wanted that toy. It’s hard to wait.” That way, he feels seen, and you’re modeling the language he’ll eventually use instead of hitting. You can also gently but firmly hold the boundary: “We don’t hit. Hitting hurts.”

I hope this helps ❤️

Anita

Hi Alessa
Well done you for being pro active in keeping both your son & other children safe. Over the years I have witnessed so many parents disengaged & disinterested in their children.
Where else does your son get to socialise with his peers? Going to a playpark allows him to interact with other children with no toys involved, although pinch points such as queing for a turn on a slide can try little one patience.
A game that I play at preschool is hunt the dinosaur or insect – I hide the objects around the garden or room & they have to seek them out – I always hide some that are easy to find plus a few tricky ones so if a child is getting disheartened I can gently give them clues to its whereabouts.
Playing – one for you one for me helps with sharing like apple slices or other small snacks & you can take turns doing it. The phrase one little girl taught me is “sharing is caring & caring is sharing”
When my youngest was little he had a friend that would kick out so when visiting my house I got all the children to take off their shoes that way the child would do less damage to another child & would actually be able to feel their own ouch if they kicked a wall or furniture etc. Remeber that our sense is only getting one set of feed back when we are touching another compared to when we touch our own skin. When I worked in a carehome it felt weird to wash someones face etc because I had no idea what sensation they were receiving from me. One guy really liked to have his back scrubbed hard & said that no one did it hard enough!
Simple communication say ouch loudly & then that hurt & rub the sore spot will give your son some feed back.
Good luck
Roberta

Hi Alessa

Im glad you managed to find an approach to address the hitting. The biting tho – Im not sure how helpful this will be but whn my son did this my reaction to him was probably so shocking to him that he just stopped. In all fairness it was a genuine reaction but after a couple of attempts of biting, he stopped and never did it again. Either he outgrew that stage fast or, more likely, I spooked him

I recognise that in my son too – the stage where he pretends not to hear me and just continues on with whatever it is he is doing. He was about 3. It didnt last long and I think, when he saw how to handle the incongruence he felt with what he wanted to do and what I was asking him, the pretending stopped and the verbal attempts at dealing with it started altho, in all fairness, that would sound like him expressing in words his extreme displeasure at me for ruining his day so its a bit melodramatic but, to be fair to him, I get why he would feel that way and I rather he say it to me than lash out physically.

I definitely believe that people perceive sensation s to different degrees. Even in myself, when I was pregnant my way of perceiving changed. Reading words that displeased me or were not aesthetically pleasing to look at made me feel sick in my stomach. Then it went back to my normal after I gave birth. There is also the HSP (highly sensitive person) who processes their sensations differently – in a more involved way – that what many others do apparently. I think something like one third of the population is HSP or something pretty large like that. I think another shift is in having the knowledge and vocabulary to break down the richness of a perception. Learning more about how to describe fragrances can lead to people becoming more aware that a certain level of sensation exists in the first place. Haha, I had a date night with my husband where I showed him my extensive lavender essential oil collection. They were organised by lavender species, year of distillation, company I bought it from, and place where the lavender grew but to someone not familiar with the nuances of the various aromas, it all would smell like lavender which is exactly what my husband started off by saying but, by the end of our date, he appreciated the complexities in each oil, the similarities and differences.